Hello - feeling really SAD

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Hello - feeling really SAD

Postby deano » 28 Nov 2015, 17:43

Hello everyone,

I'm new to this forum and my issues with anal-fissures have been caused by a lot of stress.

Round September I started bleeding from my AF and it was caused by lot personal/home issues and with work related stress. This was making feel very sad and depressed, crying uncontrollably, feeling horrible and didnt want to do anything but just sit in the dark and think. I tried Rectogesic, high figher diet and nothing worked. I still kept on bleeding till finally it passed. I had no bleeding after a month and I was truly elated. I could go to the toilet and not worry if blood was going to coming out and was feeling happy. My stress started to go.

A few days ago, my bleeding came back. I was at work and was about to do a bowel movement when all of a sudden, bang blood starting popping out again and it went all over the floor. I had a severe panic attack at work and couldnt concentrate on my work. I started crying uncontrollably and had to lock myself in a store room to calm down. Later in the day, I had another bowel movement but this no blood came out and it was nice and soft which puzzled me. My 2nd outbreak of an AF has been strange because sometimes, I bleed and sometimes I dont. I still have some bleeding occurring.

I am on a high fibre diet as mentioned, I eat lot of veggies and I am using rectogesic wipes to clean my anus. My sister who is a pharmacist, gave me Hemoclin to give me some support with cream. Rectogesic made me faint and I found it too strong. Plus, it was completely useless the first time.

This is making feel very down and depressed. I hate this condition. I ask why is it happening to me. I have been crying so much and I want this to go away permanently. I am scared to go to the toilet. I have had 2 BM's today, one which was blood free and the other which had a bit. I feel so stressed with this thing. It is great that I have found some nice people in this forum who can provide support to others. I hate Anal fissures, they suck! :cry:
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Re: Hello - feeling really SAD

Postby Canadabum » 29 Nov 2015, 16:15

Deano:
:wel:
You have found the right place to vent and get great info. So sorry to hear about your ordeal...must have been terrible.

I fully get feeling sad, depressed, angry, confused and pissed off...I have been through all of those feelings and sometimes a couple at the same time!

Good you are eating high fibre - just don't overdo it...too much will bulk up your bm and it won't be comfortable.

Try adding lots of water to your diet, sitz baths or regular baths, a stool softener like miralax if needed.

My only thought about the volume of blood...sounds like quite a bit if it was falling on the floor. Have you had the wound looked at? Could this be hems bleeding...just seems like it may be something other than a fissure bleeding like that.

Keep us posted and keep venting when needed.

Best - Canadabum
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Re: Hello - feeling really SAD

Postby Manitourose » 01 Dec 2015, 21:29

Hi Deano -
I hope today finds you better than previous days. Dealing with anal fissures is not an easy task. It fully takes a toll on the body mentally and physically. You mention stress plays a big role (as it does for me too - sigh!), so I can imagine it feels like a never ending cycle.. stress = changes = fissure = more stress = less healing... and it goes and goes around.

As Canadabum mentioned, have you spoken to a doctor? It can feel traumatizing to bleed from a fissure and its very frightening, despite knowing they bleed. :-(

If you haven't been to your doctor, rest assured they commonly see and talk about fissures (among many rectal complaints). I know no matter how many times I have seen the doctor to discuss this issue, I always feel better after going stress wise.

We're here to support you and keep us updated.
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Re: Hello - feeling really SAD

Postby msimon » 04 Dec 2015, 03:33

How are you doing Deano?
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
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Re: Hello - feeling really SAD

Postby deano » 18 Jan 2016, 22:25

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't been here for a long time. Since I last came here, my bleeding stopped for 36 days and then came back again. I had a severe bout of diarrhea the other day which caused me to have bleeding again. However, I went and saw the doctor today and she looked at my wound and it seemed only inflamed but still I have a bit of bleeding and bloody stools. I don't have an anal fissure but it seems to be inflamed caused a bit by using rectogesic (i started using it again)too much. When I started bleeding I was using rectogesic. The doctor said to me not to use it again and use Proctosedyl. I do all the right things. Eat fibre, exercise but have a lot of stress in my life. I have to deal with looking after my elderely parents which is not easy. I hate to quit my job which was so stressful. I had a bowel movement now with a bit of blood.
I took a blood test today. The doctor felt my tummy and everything was alright down there but this thing is getting me so down after being blood free for over 5 weeks. I have been in tears and really depressed. I am not a strong person and get emotional very easily. I just hate this thing and I don't want it to happen to me anymore.
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Re: Hello - feeling really SAD

Postby hurtinend » 19 Jan 2016, 15:24

deano....

I can relate to you, I too have aged parents, both 90, needing lots of help, I'm happy to do it but it is stressful. I quit my job, couldn't handle the pain and the stress of responsibility, at the end was working 70 hours per week....not by choice. The combo of fissure and stress has crushed me.

Get help, I am seeing a pain specialist, yes...it is helping a lot. Do not give up. Currently I am trying a home care, injecting a saline solution up there twice daily....it is helping. Salt, baking soda and water....used like an enema.

Also, I am doing yoga, it helps too, must manage stress, in my case stress caused "tight ass"....ya if you have a tight ass, something must give, ouch.

All the best, keep in touch.
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Re: Hello - feeling really SAD

Postby deano » 19 Jan 2016, 16:23

Thanks hurtinend,

Got my blood results very quickly which is amazing with technology these days.

The stress caused me to have a decrease in lymphocytes in the white blood cells and lacking calcium.

Still having a bit of blood on the stool but I don't bleed excessively not as in my initial post in this forum.

I just have a immune system that is really screwed at the moment and this bleeding/inflammation in the rectal area is just causing it.

I've got rid of the rectogesic for now and the advice that I got from the doctor was if you are in pain and you really need to use the cream then use proctoysedl as it has that anitbotic/steroid treatment unlike rectogesic which just gives you headaches beyond belief. Don't know why I considered using it again the other night which was a stupid thing to do A few nights ago when I applied the cream, I had a dreadful headache. Never again. It is just too strong.

This forum is great with good people for support. Thank you.
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Re: Hello - feeling really SAD

Postby Manitourose » 19 Jan 2016, 18:33

Glad you received your results so quickly. What's your doctors plan? I really hope you begin to feel some relief soon. It takes immense perseverance to juggle everything and keep on top of your health.
Wishing you the best!
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Re: Hello - feeling really SAD

Postby deano » 19 Jan 2016, 21:32

The plan is to get off rectogesic because she looked inside and saw that was irritated and inflamed. It didn't look like anal fissure but more possibly inflamed hemmie. Rectogesic made it worse I think. If it continues, a visit a gastronomist (I did know if I spelt that correctly LOL!) as a plan b but she wanted more to manage the stress which is so hard to do with everything.
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