hi, i'm new

feel like i can't take it anymore

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hi, i'm new

Postby jlm1 » 22 Jun 2014, 15:42

Hi everyone,

First, I'm so glad that I found this site! I am feeling hopeless at times although I know that a fissure isn't serious and I'm grateful for that. I cannot believe the pain and how debilitating this fissure is. Here is my story in a nutshell:
I have been constipated my whole life and have had hemorrhoids since I was a baby. About 10 years ago I had a terrible bout from pushing.....the result was very aggravated hemorrhoids. I went to a proctologist and she said that I also had a fissure, along with hemorrhoids inside and out. Since this was a while ago, I don't remember everything but I do remember the pain. I changed my diet, lost some weight as a result and since then have been fine. I generally eat balanced and get lots of exercise. (I'm a runner, and do lots of walking)
A few weeks ago I was pretty stressed, got sick and that threw my stomach off a bit and shorty after this I started having pain which I thought was my hemorrhoids. Since I have had these a while, I focused on eating lots of veggies, fiber, water and got preparation suppositories which I think aggravated the fissure. Finally I realized that this pain not just be hemorrhoids. I went to a doctor and had a very painful exam. He said I had a fissure and gave me nitroglycerin, told me to take baths, hot water bottle and tylenol. This was 3 weeks ago and it has been a lot of up and down. I have had to take some days from work because the pain was unbearable at times. I find this so debilitating and depressing. I feel like my life is revolving around when I have BM. I have a whole routine: go to the bathroom, soak and then use the nitroglycerin. (which does give me relief but I can only use it twice a day) I have also been using aloe, drinking aloe vera juice, rubbing coconut oil, and I got these suppositories that are supposed to heal a fissure but I'm not sure they are doing anything. I am waiting to get a cream from DR Wheatgrass)
I am supposed to have a colonoscopy on Saturday and I am terrified that the cleaning out will really aggravate the fissure. I have never had one before. Part of me wants to do this because it seems to be the first step before anything else is done. Since I had a similar bout 10 years ago, does that make the fissure chronic? How are you guys dealing with this? I also have an 18 month old and it is so hard to care for her at times when I am in this pain. I feel like no one really understands this pain. I would love any suggestions/advice/anything!! Thanks for reading this :)
fissure May 2014
nitro, diltiazem
botox July
fistula surgery, piece of skin tag removed Oct
fissure declared healed Dec
currently have burning/pain-told it is nerve pain
physical therapy, sitz baths, valium suppositories
hoping I am healing
jlm1
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Re: hi, i'm new

Postby Apes » 22 Jun 2014, 16:12

Sorry you are suffering from this horrible thing. A fissure is serious, not life threatening but everything else you described makes this serious. I did much the same as you. BM bath and shower. Nitro did not work for me, I eventually got Botox and seems to be working. Why are you getting the colonoscopy? If there is not another reason to get it I would concentrate on healing the fissure. If you aren't improving you may need Botox or LIS. FIND A GOOD CRS and make an appointment to talk over alternatives. What kind of suppositories are you using?
Fissure 2/13/14 from Colonoscopy
Nitro no help
Nifedipine no help
Botox 5/5/2014 work in progress
HEALED 10/2014
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Re: hi, i'm new

Postby jlm1 » 22 Jun 2014, 16:52

Thanks for responding....i'm feeling particularly low right now. I am taking something called fissureheal, that my partner found on line. They are a natural herbal suppositories (marshmallow root, elm, comfery) I have only used them 2 times because I can't tell if they are causing spasms or if it is just coincidental. I have been using the nitro cream for 2 weeks now and it helps but I can only use it twice a day. I feel like it has been one step forward, two back.
The gastroenterologist wants to do a colonoscopy. I scheduled it but am having doubts as I don't think the cleaning out that is required will be good for this fissure. I'm also worried that maybe something else is wrong; can it really be this painful and take so long to heal?! Sometimes I am fine, no pain at all. But sometimes it just starts hurting (spasm, I think) even if I haven;t had a BM for a few hours. Have you also experienced this?
fissure May 2014
nitro, diltiazem
botox July
fistula surgery, piece of skin tag removed Oct
fissure declared healed Dec
currently have burning/pain-told it is nerve pain
physical therapy, sitz baths, valium suppositories
hoping I am healing
jlm1
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 188
Topics: 22
Joined: 22 Jun 2014, 15:20
Has thanked: 48 times
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Gender: Female

Re: hi, i'm new

Postby Apes » 22 Jun 2014, 17:17

It can that painful. I suffered everyday for over 2 months. After my BM I would be in pain and spasm for 6 plus hours. I was totally incapacitated. I work from home, so I had the luxury of being able to as good care as possible. That meant sometimes taking 6 baths a day. Some people on this forum did not have a problem with a colonoscopy while having a fissure. I got my fissure from a colonoscopy, so you know my thoughts on that. If the nitro is helping you can give it about 6 weeks, if you still have pain you will need to take it to the next step. I was told I could use the nitro more often. The spasm I had are called levator a I spasm, that is what prevented blood flow to help heal the fissure. If I had it all to do over I would get Botox sooner rather then waiting to see if creams helped. For me though I got zero relief from the creams, I used nitro first then nifedipine .
Fissure 2/13/14 from Colonoscopy
Nitro no help
Nifedipine no help
Botox 5/5/2014 work in progress
HEALED 10/2014
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Re: hi, i'm new

Postby Roidsfizzman » 22 Jun 2014, 17:31

Hi JLM,
Sorry to read about the pain that you are having. You are correct that the colonoscopy could make the fissure more active. I would not consider your fissure chronic after no issue for 10 years and you should have a good chance of healing. You are doing many thing correct with diet, lots of water and nitroglycerin, but you are missing the most important factor to heal a fissure and that is keeping your stools soft. Are you taking a stool softner like MiraLax?
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Re: hi, i'm new

Postby jlm1 » 22 Jun 2014, 17:53

Thanks for sharing, Apes.
Roidsfizzman, I am taking stool softener and miralax too. I also do prune juice and all that good stuff.
Thanks for your responses....it's nice to not feel alone. The pain just seems so bad at times and then I get depressed with being so limited.
i'm not sure about the colonoscopy....seems like it might be a bad idea. I have to think about it.
fissure May 2014
nitro, diltiazem
botox July
fistula surgery, piece of skin tag removed Oct
fissure declared healed Dec
currently have burning/pain-told it is nerve pain
physical therapy, sitz baths, valium suppositories
hoping I am healing
jlm1
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 188
Topics: 22
Joined: 22 Jun 2014, 15:20
Has thanked: 48 times
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Gender: Female

Re: hi, i'm new

Postby mmklinemm » 22 Jun 2014, 20:36

Some of the things I've done to deal with the pain are taking 2-3 ibuprofen in the morning before a BM (Tylenol doesn't do anything for me), squatting (I put my feet on a wide footstool), using a portable bidet instead of TP or wipes, adding wheatgrass powder to my diet (not sure if this works, but I do feel better and more energetic), and keeping my fiber intake at 30g per day. I would say the squatting has had the most impact in my healing - there is almost no pain with BMs now and very little afterwards. Nifedipine works for me at keeping the spasms at bay. Like the others have recommended, you should definitely see a CRS. If you aren't 100% comfortable with getting a colonoscopy, I don't think you should unless a CRS recommends it. We're all here for you and in this together!

Oh - and sitz or tub baths help a lot. I have 2 young kids, so it isn't possible to do them as much as I like, but they do help.
Status: LIS 20 Oct 2014, 2nd LIS 05 March 2018.
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Re: hi, i'm new

Postby Scientist2516 » 22 Jun 2014, 21:38

I had a routine colonoscopy when my fissure was bad. It didn't cause me any problems. The cleanse was no problem at all. The stool was very liquid and did not bother my fissure at all.
However, it was not helpful for fissure diagnosis. I don't think they look down there at the end of the colon; they are looking a bit higher up for polyps etc. I specifically asked my doc to look for the fissure, and he said afterwards they did not see it.
Unless in your case they are looking for Crohns disease or colitis? Ask them what they will be looking for. If it's not directly related to your fissure, you can put it off until you are feeling better.

What you are experiencing - horrible pain sometimes, no pain at other times, depression, a feeling as though this thing is taking over your life.......... this is all so, so normal. If nitro is helping you that is very good news. It means it's effective for you, and over time it will help you heal. Nitro, soft stools, warmth on your anus, these are the things that will cure you, but it will take TIME. You need to know that it will seem endless, and that you will have good and bad days. The bad days can be very depressing, but again, this is normal, so don't let it worry you.

Yes, it will take time, but in the end you will heal. Look after yourself (as much as you can, with an 18 month old!!) and come here to vent whenever you need to. We all know what this is like, and we will help as much as we can.
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: hi, i'm new

Postby jlm1 » 24 Jun 2014, 05:47

Thanks so much everyone. It is so comforting to read your responses. I saw the doctor again yesterday and he basically said that this should heal, continue with the nitro, warm baths, etc. Even though he answered all my questions, I get the feeling that some doctors have no idea of the pain this causes! I feel like this pain is far worse than labor,pushing and recovery from my emergency c section!
I cancelled the colonoscopy as he only wants to do it to see if there are underlying causes: inflamed bowl, crohns, etc. He suggested waiting a few more weeks and I agree since I do not have any symptoms that would suggest any of these things.I also just do not want to aggravate the fissure.
I have now learned the difference between a gastro doc and a CRS. If this doesn't clear up with the nitro then the gastro said I could see s CRS. He said that if I went now they would be doing the same treatment that he is right now. (nitro, warm baths)
Anyway, thanks again everyone! I am going to attempt a good day and take it one day at a time. Hope you are all good right now and not in bad pain.
fissure May 2014
nitro, diltiazem
botox July
fistula surgery, piece of skin tag removed Oct
fissure declared healed Dec
currently have burning/pain-told it is nerve pain
physical therapy, sitz baths, valium suppositories
hoping I am healing
jlm1
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 188
Topics: 22
Joined: 22 Jun 2014, 15:20
Has thanked: 48 times
Been thanked: 23 times
Gender: Female

Re: hi, i'm new

Postby Apes » 24 Jun 2014, 05:50

Good plan. Drink lots of water keep the BMS soft. Let's us know how you progress.
Fissure 2/13/14 from Colonoscopy
Nitro no help
Nifedipine no help
Botox 5/5/2014 work in progress
HEALED 10/2014
Apes
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