Hi, i'm new!

My story so far

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Hi, i'm new!

Postby hayleyw » 20 Jul 2015, 11:51

Hello everyone. Long time lurker here. I've read a lot of threads on this site that have brought me comfort and given me good advice.

A bit about my struggle so far. The pain when pooping started more than a year ago. I had the classic stinging/broken glass feeling accompanied by bright red blood on the toilet paper. I went to see my GP after looking up the symptoms online and self diagonising myself with a fissure. She told me she couldn't see anything on the outside, give me a rectal exam with her finger but had to quickly pull out when she realised the pain she was causing by probing me like that. She gave me laxatives and some anusol suppositories. Time passed and the fissure never really went away. I'd have periods of no pain and no blood but those periods only usually lasted a few weeks or so at most before the symptoms started again.

After revisiting my GP she gave me a cream called Rectogesic and referred me to a specialist. The cream didn't help a bit and it gave me bad headaches. The surgeon I saw looked at my bum and once again give me a rectal exam with the old finger treatment. Once again this left me in agony and I was upset when he said there was no fissure visible and it felt fine. He said because I have been seeing blood, just to be on the safe side I should have a sigmoidoscopy. The day came for the procedure...one of the worst days of my life. The nurse gave me an enema prep which immediately tore me open. I went to the toilet and there was blood everywhere. I also quickly started to feel a lump forming around my anus. The surgeon ready to do the sig told me I was in no fit state to tolerate it and the next day I was back in the colorectal surgeons office. This time he said I had an abscess on my bum cheek and I was immediately sent to the local hospital to get it drained under general anaesthetic. I was also prescribed a new kind of cream, Anoheal after I was discharged following an overnight stay. I've had an MRI which shows a single, superficial fistula tract. The wound itself has healed but i'm still in a lot of pain when pooping and for sometime afterwards. The anoheal hasn't helped. I think it's partly due to the fact that the tear is so far up near the muscle that I can't get my finger up there properly, partly due to pain and partly due to it being an awkward area to reach. I'm going back to see my colorectal surgeon this Wednesday. I'm hoping he'll suggest botox but I think he'll want me to try again with the sigmoidoscopy first. The nurse who gave me the enema that day told me I should try and convince him to let me have it done under general anesthetic. Ignorance is bliss and all that. Despite being in more pain than ever this last month, strangely I haven't seen blood at all for a while. My toilet habits are normal, no nasty symptoms that might point to an underlining bowel condition, but I still worry about that to some extent. One of the worst things about this is that I can't see the fissure. I know it's there, I can feel it when applying cream or coconut oil, but I haven't laid eyes on it yet and neither has any doctor. I want the sigmoidoscopy for validation that the fissure is there but the pain terrifies me. It's the worst paint i've ever felt when anything is put up my bum, be it a finger, an enema bottle or sometimes just cream. A part of me feels like the doctors think i'm imagining it. I really want wednesday to come but at the same time I really don't as well. The thought of the pain they will put me through and I know they are holding back on botox because of the cost. The NHS is terrible these days. I feel so hopeless at this point. It's nice to know i'm not alone at least.

Sorry for the length. Thanks for reading and hi. I'd say nice to be here but i'd much rather i'd never had to google 'anal fissure' in my life. Then again, don't we all :(
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Re: Hi, i'm new!

Postby Manitourose » 20 Jul 2015, 14:02

Welcome Hayleyw. I'm sorry you have had to go through so much and experience this at all, but have found a wonderful and welcoming place on this forum. You'll also find many from the UK here as well. I hear that dealing with the NHS can be very challenging both from my family and those on here. I can relate to never wanting to have to google "anal" anything. Definitely not what you want! Again though, you are in good company here and I honestly am so grateful myself for this board when I went through my fistula and surgery last year as well as subsequent fissures. Glad you found us, not glad you have to be here though.
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Re: Hi, i'm new!

Postby jobber » 22 Jul 2015, 07:17

Hello Hayleyw,
I just wanted to say good luck. It sounds tough what you are going through and that you are not happy with the treatment you are getting under the NHS. What hospital are you at? I find you really have to tell the doctors what you want and for you to be informed about what it is that you are going through, otherwise there is a tendency for them to fob you off.
I hope you next visit goes well, keep us informed. Good luck! I am waiting to undergo surgery for two fistulae.........
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