Kim wrote:[Man, I remember it being like that. Just getting in my car and driving a few blocks to work was so scary! For seven months, I barely left my hometown!!! I actually stood in church, and everyone knew why (pretty much). I had to drive upstate to Atlanta once, and I felt my anus just swell and swell!! It was horrible!

It's like being in prison! Butt prison.
Why do you drink soy milk Kim? Health reasons?
Bloody Mary

Yes, Corsi! I love the taste of milk and always have. Whole milk, that is. But there's just too many calories and fat, so I took up soy milk, which I like! I am the opposite of Happy though, I prefer the plain Silk (with Omega 3's added) over the chocolate Silk, which doesn't seem to have enough "body."
I tried the "8th Continent" brand and it tasted "watered-down."
Plus, being anally compromised, I need to avoid dairy, right? I do have small amounts of cheese, because like you, I am a cheese fanatic. But I limit my intake and it doesn't seem to be a problem at all.

Thank you for answering, both of you.
It's depressing this fissure life...produced a big (normal?) BM today, it's like I'm ripped in two. Wish I didn't have to eat and go to the toilet!
Need to get my life back...
I feel so feminine talking about BMs, pooh, pooping, etc.
Bloody Mary

well at least you have your sense of humor bloody mary!!!!
that is one of the important things to have, so you don't lose faith in all the wonderful things around you.
that's great you got your pets from shelters. i actually got Pooh (my cat) when he was about 3 months i think from a pet store.....he cost me $29.95 plus tax and i got him on september 11, 1994 (interesting). he is still my baby and bear's bigger brother....bear (my pug) i got from a breeder as you can't find any pugs in shelters around here. bear is taking a nap right now. he is the sweetest and funniest pug i've ever known! he's a great pal - although i bet Pooh can say otherwise.
i had lots of fish but now i am down to three from before 2008 and i got 3 more that i was going to take and place in my work fish tank. i had lots more but i think the last time i bought a batch of female bettas, one of them was sick and infected all of my fish. so not only have i had to deal with fish deaths over the last two years, i also got fish tank granuloma in my arm which has left me scarred but at least it is under control.
i still want more fish! i'll just be smarter to wear latex gloves now when cleaning the tanks.
**
that's great Kim you drink Silk! yeah, Silk is really good but I do like mine a bit watered down. The Silk Chocolate come to think of it is not as think as Silk Regular either....but it is soooo goood.....

Yes, what should we do without humour and irony? When this wonderful fissure nightmare is over I have a few stories to tell in parties...all the funny (read degrading and invasive) visits at the CRS, the Botox experience, etc. I could do a stand up show only about fissure life :)
Thought Bloody Mary was appropriate for obvious reasons (no need for details), but also I love The Elizabethan Age...the kings and queens...the literature. The soaps of today are nothing compared to back then.

happyass wrote: that's great you got your pets from shelters. i actually got Pooh (my cat) when he was about 3 months i think from a pet store.....he cost me $29.95 plus tax and i got him on september 11, 1994 (interesting). he is still my baby and bear's bigger brother....bear (my pug) i got from a breeder as you can't find any pugs in shelters around here. bear is taking a nap right now. he is the sweetest and funniest pug i've ever known! he's a great pal - although i bet Pooh can say otherwise.

I can see from the way you write that Pooh and Bear really are your babies, and that you are a bit nuts when it comes to animals
I love animals! When I got the smallest one she was a wild cat and so scared. I couldn't touch her for a month, and had to use mittens when I tried to. Finally she gradually became calmer and trusted me. Now she prefers lying on top of me 24/7 :) and she is a little princess who prefers to be inside the house!
I had to look up "pug" - it is a mops? They are so sweet! Pooh is such a cute name, he must be the AFSF mascot...
Granuloma is kind of an infection? Found this definition: "A mass of inflamed granulation tissue, usually associated with ulcerated infections". Since I don't speak English I feel stupid sometimes, so many things I don't know. And the slang...? Being on this board is educating for me, but I doubt I will use the fissure words other places...pooh, pooping, stool, CRS, etc.
What about Pooh? Wouldn't he look for his next meal in the fish tank?
Hope you get fish again, but next time stay away from these infected females.
Bloody Mary, or was it Jane Boleyn?

Kim & Happy & anyone else -
I have a question for those of you that have healed before. When you currently get either a large or hard BM, does you bum feel like it is stretching to its max ability when the BM comes out? I am so worried that my fissure will retare because it has done that once since LIS. Lately I have been having extreamly large BM's and my skin down there feels like it is sretching and about to tare, even though the skin has stayed intact. I have no idea why my BMs are so large right now (its construction worker poo Fissy!), but everyday I do not tare because of this shocks me.
Is this a sensation anyone has ever felt before? If so, does this stretching sensation ever go away?

Hi Jen!
No, that is normal, buddy! If I have a hard BM that's large, my butt will be sore, but that was true before I had the fissure, and it is undoubtedly true for everyone. Most people just aren't gonna mention it. I can see why you'd be alarmed, what with your healing going on and everything.
Cut back on your fiber and keep taking your stool softeners. Do avoid straining.
I have noticed that if I don't go twice in one day, the next day my stools are extra large and extra long. Maybe try going again right after lunch, if you can have a BM then without straining. Maybe, just maybe, that will cut back on the bulkyness of your morning BM some.
Good luck, Curly locks!!

Thanks Kim! I feel like I am just so close to taring it. I need to stop these large BM's - I am fine now, but a few more days of this and who knows what might happen. I think I am going to cut back on my benefiber. I was taking it 3 times a day and everything was fine until recently. Yesterday I only took it 2 times and today the BM's were still large - today I am only going to take it once and hopefully all will be well tomorrow. Thanks again Kim!

If you are getting fiber from your regular food, just eliminate the benfiber completely, CL!! At least for a few days! Wow, I can see why they are so large, three times a day?
I quit taking any fiber supplements after my surgery, Jen. I get more than enough from my diet. I feel pretty sure the supplement is your main problem!!
Remember, your goal is to get back to normal in everything. You need to toughen up your butt, get it used to a normal diet. You can baby it some, but if it stays babyish, it may just be more prone to tearing.
Imagine going to work as a nurse and eating in the caefteria or wherever and not having to think about fiber supplements and stool softeners!

Kim - I know it sounds like alot, and it probably is, but taking it 3 times a day for the past 6 weeks has made my BM's perfect. All of a sudden this week, my 3 times a day system has stopped working and I am having dinosaur sized BM's. I think your right, I need to cut back for a while and see how things go. I'll let you know how it all comes out tomorrow!
CL :)