Hello everybody, it's the new guy Tony again. My last story was a little short so I'll try to get in more detail and I also want to say to everyone I'm sorry all of us have to go through with these fissures... Not a way to enjoy life, but a way to make someone depressed and freak out. I've noticed an intense pain when after going to the bathroom for about the last 5 months or so and I can't take it anymore ,I'm going nuts. I finally got the mirror out and opened up the cheeks and noticed a little cut or slit inside the anus towards the spine side but the cut inside not outside. I forgot to mention the pain can last for about 5 hrs. Sometimes maybe even longer since I started worrying about this. The problem is through my life I've felt cuts down there from big poos but nothing ever like this....Why won't it heal ? It makes me think there's something wrong with me like I'm sick or something. To make things worse I am a worrywart. I think my toilet habits don't help the problem but maybe created it. I do remember really straining sometimes and I used to always spread my cheeks far apart over the toilet seat for what reason I don't know. I when're to see a proctologist 2 weeks ago and it was kind of a bummer . I don't even think he looked down there and just put his finger in me and told my to relax and loosen up. It was quite the experience. Then he said I'll see you in two weeks and told me to try to relax when going to the bathroom. When I go next week I'm gonna make him look no matter what it takes. So I'm on internet24/7 searching about this and the nerves are starting to take over .This is all I think about . I just started a new job and finally got blue cross again and now I have to start taking time out of work for this.  I do HVAC and work with will say a bunch of tough guys! I just graduated college also for the same field and everything has been going good until this happened. Before all this I will say not going good I used to be a addict for drugs and sex. I did a lot of things to my body and my family that I shouldn't have and I changed my ways. But now I'm scared like I have some infection or cancer. Iv lost ten pounds in the last year though I have a awful diet ( ice coffee and junk food and 2 packs of smokes a day)and lots of nerve with new job because I'm always trying to go above and beyond . That's one good quality about me I will work till I drop and try to support my family . Thanks for reading write me back

Hi Tony,
Don't worry too much, it's really unlikely to be cancer. You've seen a proctologist, and he didn't suggest tests for cancer, so try to put that out of your mind.

I know it's really easy to get obsessive about this. The pain, looking on the internet, not knowing enough about what's happening to you - it all adds up to obsessive thoughts. I've found this forum to be very helpful, with tips and diet advice, and also supportive people who know what you are suffering and don't judge you for being a wuss, or whatever. Believe me, this pain has strong guys crying on the floor.

So, about the proctologist -
They don't usually look inside, because the instrument they use for that (an anuscope) can hurt quite badly and might even tear you a bit more. When you see him next time, ask for advice on changing your diet and laxatives for getting soft stools. Also, ask him if you can have diltiazem or nifedipine or nitroglycerine to relax your anus. You can't relax your internal anal sphincter on your own - you don't have conscious control over it - nobody does, so telling you to relax is not helpful. You can relax your external sphincter, and it's probably a good idea to practice relaxing when you find yourself getting tense and worried. But the internal sphincter just isn't controlled that way.

It's kind of a common theme here that people get fissures when they are under stress. Maybe it's the stress, or maybe it's that when people are stressed they tend to let themselves go - eat more junk food and alcohol and caffeine which make you dehydrated and have hard dry stools. You need to find a diet that will give you soft regular stools. You must NEVER strain on the toilet.

I hope this helps! Good luck!

Hi Tony,

Replied on your other post yesterday. Would be good if you mention on that post that you have started this one, so that you don't get mixed up answers.

As said on my post on the other one of yours, all of us have been JUST WHERE YOU ARE. pain for hours, and so on and on. These are the symptoms of a fissure. So don't worry. You are still in the acute stage, and the fissureCOULD BE SORTED WITH CREAM OR OINTMENT. Ask the doctor! You do not want it to get to the chronic stage. I wish that I had known half of the things that are on this forum when I first joined. It is amazing that what seems like a paper cut sore can bring so much grief.

Thanks for the replies just trying to get used to the site. Nice to right about this and get things off my chest. This is life changing!!!!

Hi everybody just started rectiv yesterday and my you know feels ten times worst is this normal?