My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Just need to talk. Feed Back Welcomed. In a lot of pain :(

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My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Postby Ponder » 08 Mar 2016, 05:48

Hi, after looking at the classification topic with pictures ... my wife assisted me with a visual inspection and we are unable to see any tear.

I seem to be suffering identical problems of an annual fissure, and was wondering if some tears could occur a little deeper or just be hard to find?

I believe I have had mine for some years. Constipation has been a major issue for my since I had my gallbladder removed. Most people without a gall bladder with often complain of diarrhea from undigested fats and so on. I'm one of the few that seem to struggle with constipation.

It all started a few years ago when I started getting pools of blood on my toilet paper, however I had no pain. I was like WTF! - the doctor told me not to wipe so hard and just take a shower after each time until it cleared up. I had no idea at the time what was going on. My constipation got worse as I was ignorant to the major digestion issues I was suffering without a gall bladder. I would have months with no blood, then months with blood. Eventually the blood episodes started to get painful until recently I went to hospital because the pain was so unbearable and was at the point of blacking out.

Driving (or passenger) in a vehicle seems to compound the problem 10 fold. People say an annual fissure will leave one in pain for a few hours after going to the toilet. For me - I am in pain for "most" of the day. If I have a BM in the morning, the pain stays with me late into the afternoon. If I go to the toilet again later that day, I do not get a break at all.
____________________________
Forgive the long wideness in this post. I've been days on end struggling. I wanted to start a diary, but just can't get my thoughts together. My doctor is very unhelpful which has also added to my demoralized state.

SIGH - On the upside ... I have lost 22kg. :) I have learned much about living life without a gall bladder (I'm now taking digestive supps plus a number of vits and mins) - my doctor will not even acknowledge my struggle with that. Grrrrrr - to think of how far I have come with coming off so many meds and loosing all that weight and still the doctor is of no help, dismissive and more depressing me than anything else.

After fobbing me off so many times, he has now made contact with the hospital (public system) to see a general surgeon. I am in no rush, despite being in so much pain, because I think I may be able to beat this without surgery. Maybe.

I'm hoping to make a diary - where I can discipline myself to balance out my current methods of eating clean, exercise and so on. I've started taking epsom salt baths and have medicated wipes. My hydration levels are spot on and also eating a plant based diet which seems to be helping a lot. Since cutting out the animal products I feel so much better. The pain did not last as long last time I had a BM.

I think I will have ES baths before bed as well and get plenty of sleep, back of the intensity of exercise according to the BM records and corresponding pain. My sphincter is pretty tight!!! Anxiety is an issue for me ... and given the current dynamics at home ... Meditation and finding more moments of peace are going to have to be on the agenda.
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SIGH - I'm actually enjoying the eating clean. I did a water fast about six months ago ... Both my wife and I have completely given up all forms of Junk Food!!!!!! My body is simply broken ... I can no longer eat rubbish without going through pain.

I think this whole issue with the BMs and pain, has been an unmasking of sorts. Kind of like when you start to clean house, all the crap is revealed.

I like my exercise, but afraid I will have to ease off and maintain with eating less, and eating super clean whilst sorting though all the tips I find on this site. I've had periods of relief before lasting a few weeks. I think I will ease up on the leg press, no more HIIT session ... In fact, I think I will swap out the gym for a solid week in place of walking a couple of hours a day. an hour in the morning and one in the evening. Keep up the super clean eating ... less sitting at this computer ... (less sitting I think outright) ...

Whatever ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
You know something I found that really helped, but my doctor says I should not do ... Taking a teaspoon of epsom salts before bed. He claims the surfer in it will eat away my stomach lining. Yet, I have read online old people taking a spoonful for their own health for years on end?????????????????????????????????

FACT is - I know it helps me heaps and for the purpose of healing ... You know what ... I'm going to take some of that as right now. Short term, the space for healing will do me more good than not. I just can't win talking with that damn Doc! Oh yea ... I no longer need the stool softeners, I seem to have my food down to an art. In that regard I am thankful for the pain. It's taught me quite a bit. :)

Yea ... best finish with a smile and just do what I know works for me.

Night night ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Ponder
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Re: My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Postby thedude » 08 Mar 2016, 11:59

Everyone is different with their fissure.

For me, the first few weeks I would say I was in some pretty serious pain (couldn't really sit down, couldn't squat, bending over hurt, begging for it to stop) for about 2-3 hours. Then a little more tolerable pain for about 2 -3 hours of that. Others I've read only hurt for an hour or so, then it goes away.

Eventually the pain got less and less and less, then one day I had a BM with no pain and no after pain. It was amazing, but some pain did come back the following day.

I'm not sure how the healthcare system works over there, but if you can see a CRS rather than a general surgeon, I would recommend that. The CRS I saw diagnosed me in 10 second with an anal fissure, when my family doctor I saw the day before wasn't sure what the reason for my pain was.

Also, what seemed to help me was coconut oil. I would make a little suppository of coconut oil and use that. Seemed to help keep things lubed up down there which helped BM's to pass more easily. Hopefully the next Doctor you see can prescribe you some creams to help, but I think if they don't help, don't be afraid of surgery. Anytime someone has a bad LIS experience, you'll read all about it, but what you don't see is all the people that LIS has helped and simply never followed up with a post or a success story. I know if my fissure doesn't fully heal or comes back and LIS is my best option, I would definitely pursue that route.
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Re: My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Postby Ponder » 08 Mar 2016, 15:01

Thanks Dude, I appreciate your response.

Mine has been an all day affair with the pain after one BM in the morning. The good news is that this morning for the first time in ages, I have some found some relief after having ingested one teaspoon of Epsom Salts, with aprox 200ml or warm water. I don't know what it is about that stuff, but despite the doctor telling me not to take it … I am so relieved this morning as I only have a dull ache as I not "sit" here after my first BM.

I'm about ready to go for a morning walk and know that's also going to help. I'm going to trial the Epsom Salts for a week and see how that goes. I've also got plans to change a few other things. I think there is a diary section in this forum, so will start recording my progress in there.

Not sure what a CRS is? I appreciate the tip though. I understand what you mean about negative reports being more rampant than positive ones. Fear has a way of travelling fastest. People are mostly attracted to loud affairs whilst the more quiet events go unheard. My friend jokes to me about a colostomy bag as too my family coming up with other joke regarding surgery.

I was actually sent home from hospital diagnosed with a “suspected” Anal fissure. I was scanned and probed. I was told to take heaps of Movicol for a couple of months. On the other hand, when seeking a script (to save $$$), my doctor would not shut up about me not relying on such aids. The conflicting advice alone was messing with my head, let alone the GP … once again … dismissing me. I would change docs … but sick of doing so (some even try to charge me for transferring records) – I have found most “Welfare” Doctors very much the same.

My main reason to avoid surgery:

Is the healing time. About one year I read? I just signed up for an 18 month gym membership. Whilst to some people that might equate to a loaf of bread, it's quite in investment for me. Given I am on a pension and rely of Government Assistance, any form of medical intervention that is not fully subsidised is out of my reach. Therefore General Surgeon it will be. That fact also dictates the quality of service I receive. That also plays into the complacency and dismissive attitudes of welfare doctors I have seen.

I've since found out that they now do operations to remove gal bladder stones in order to leave the gallbladder in. Whilst it is claimed one can live without a gall bladder, doing so presents a number of new challenges not so readily known. My point is, who knows … if I can learn to live with an anal fissure for some more time, perhaps a new method of control will soon hit the scene.

Then – there is always the benefit of learning from ones pain. Other than this damn issue with my ass … it has taught me to eat super clean. Given this mornings progress, I am indeed going start a diary and see how far I get. :)

Yes, I understand the pain will come back. I think that will be more a case where I consume the wrong products, not drinking enough, stressing out too much, not walking enough, sitting down too much, pushing myself too hard and so on.

Having too many operations may very well mask my bodies ability to let me know of such thing. That is, until it's too late.
_________________________________

Having said all that … if I continue to have bouts where I can not sit or walk despite having tried everything within my means – then yes, I am open to the surgery. The public system takes a while. I have time on my side. Time to make a dedicated effort in learning to live with and or possibly heal myself as so many others have done. Healing stories I have read a lot of. Each one requires quite some effort and determination.

See what happens.

Thanks for listening dude. I may very well end up under the knife. Just expressing how I feel. I at least must try the diary thing. It's great that this forum exists. :)
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Re: My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Postby Savaici » 08 Mar 2016, 20:01

CRS = Colon and Rectal Surgeon

Here is our glossary of terms:

glossary-t6595.html
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Re: My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Postby Ponder » 08 Mar 2016, 20:42

Thankyou.
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Re: My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Postby thedude » 09 Mar 2016, 14:55

Yes I agree. I'm glad I found this place and was able to read other peoples stories. Especially those first few weeks of just being in so much pain, and dreading any bathroom trip at all.

Glad that today was much better for you and hopefully you can keep that up, and let this thing heal. It will take some amount of time, but I think if you take proper care to eat a correct diet, and keep your stools soft, it can heal on it's own.
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Re: My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Postby Finallyfixed » 12 Mar 2016, 09:17

Good morning all. I figured I would post as I know what everyone is going thru. I had a chronic AF for a year and a half. It was a Rollercoaster of being healed and tjen being broken and in the worst pain of my life. I couldn't walk, sit, stand, crawl. The pain was on another level. And going to the bathroom??? Forget it. I had to mentally prepare as if I was going into war. After a year and a half of torture I decided to bite the bullet and have the fissurectomy and botox. It has been 8 months since the surgery and I am now finally totally healed. I'm not going to lie, it was no vacation. It was quite awful to be honest. But I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and I kept going. I am here if anyone has any questions. I know the pain you are going thru and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!
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Re: My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Postby Ponder » 20 Mar 2016, 03:41

Just an update - I am going to start that diary sooner or later. I can confirm a very clean strict diet with focus on hydration is a must for me. I've found a number of things that seem to help but will leave that for when I make the time to start a diary.

Thanks also for chiming in Finalyfixed.
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Re: My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Postby Ponder » 20 Mar 2016, 04:13

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Re: My Story - Feeling So Tired - Need To Talk. :(

Postby Savaici » 20 Mar 2016, 06:34

Good idea on the diary. Glad things are improving for you, Ponder!
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