Need help figuring out what's wrong with me

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Need help figuring out what's wrong with me

Postby Needhaaalp » 01 Jun 2016, 05:03


This is going to be long and NSFL, but I would love it anyone could help.

I have no idea how this forum works and this is my first time even talking about my "down there" issues, so I hope you guys can help. You should know that I live in a middle eastern country where being a homosexual is not legal, so I can't just go to any old doctor for help.

Okay so this could potentially get mega gross, but hey; here goes nothing.

Ever since I was younger, I have had these little boils pop up right next to my butt hole. Painful to touch, and would usually last a week but then pop on their own and go away. This would happen maybe twice or three times a year. Painful, but bearable. Then it would get much worse, about the size of an egg and it got so bad I couldn't walk. Pooping was one of the worse experiences ever, ended up going to the ER where the docs cut it open, drained me, and said I just need to eat cleaner. This happened perhaps once again a year later when I was 17, same drill. No explanation, just eat healthier.

I got my self a boyfriend and we were together 5 years. Amazing sex, I only bottomed. No pain, no uncomfortable-ness it was lovely. The boil popped up maybe once, small, still painful, but that went away as well without even leaving a scar.

We split and I went into a downward spiral. I literally shagged anything that moved for a couple of months. My ass started to hurt a LOT after a couple of the guys, pooping became awfully painful, but would go away in a day or two. I just put it down to me not being to handle ginormous willies. I should also mention that I preferred it a bit rough. I know that would explain a fair bit maybe.

It's been three years since then I calmed down after a while with the boys, maybe 1 guy every couple of months. I've noticed these last two years it's been getting worse. The boils come up, in the same place, atleast once month. Now there are two that usually pop up on either side. They are soft but firm and sometimes, pressing them would make pus or some cloudy fluid actually come out of bum hole. Sometimes it would just burst and I'd bleed. Also, starting mid way last year, just at the bottom of my hole, on either side, two little openings/tears would open up and leak tiny drops of blood. This isnt painful, more of an itch, but its still terrifying. They usually either dry up or close up in a day oe two but always open up roughly once a month.

This didn't used to be so frequent, it would always go away in a week or two and then I'd just carry on as normal, thinking that's it, that's the last time. I don't understand why it keeps coming back. I eat healthy-ish, go to a gym regularly, jog, swim, cycle etc. I live in a country where we have bidets so cleanliness can't be an issue, I just want it to stop.

The biggest thing is that penetration and anal is now absolutely unbearable. I didn't have sex at all for the first three quarters of last year (self induced celibacy hah), and I finally hooked up with a lovely bloke, but it felt like he had blades on his willy, that were slicing me open on his way in and out! I put it down to him having a big willy as well, or me just not being used to it after soo long without any action. But I've tried it more frequently and it's still unnaturally unbearably painful. Going in takes atleast half an hour and I never seem to adjust to the tearing/slicing feeling. Ive tried atleast six times since February and I haven't been able to power through it for longer than a couple of minutes, before I beg them to stop. The last time I tried intercourse was last night and it was so dreadful, its whats prompted me to seek help. He wasnt even that big, but it still felt like blades and I couldnt perform. Its severely depressing me. I miss the days when it would happen so naturally and easily, and I'd be able to perform so much better for so much longer, now I just dread the pain and it's massively depressing me and sending me into a downward spiral. I am terrified of meeting new people. I am terrified everytime my friends try to send me on a date and I end up self sabotaging. I hate looking in mirror and I think it's causing me issues with ED as well as anxiety. I am constantly envious of my friends that hook up, date and have what seems like atleast, normal healthy sex lives.

As I said, I can't go to a doctor here, the cosequesnces could be potentially life threatening because of where I live. I would just like to know if this is common. What is it? Does any one have any similar experiences? Can it be cured permanently? Will I be able to go back to the way I was, ever? I just need to hear something that would give me hope or a name for what I have.

Anything would help guys.
Sorry for the Essay and any typos, I'm typing this out on my phone.

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Re: Need help figuring out what's wrong with me

Postby Fissurefrustration » 01 Jun 2016, 14:01

Hello Needhaaalp,

welcome to the Forum family. Don't worry there is no judgement here and I am so sorry of the hell you have been through.

The first thought that comes to mind is you have a form of warts (an STI?) due to the leaking spots around the sphincter - at what age did you first have any action 'back there'? if your symptoms originate from before sexual contact that rules out anything along those lines.

what's your diet like? Not sure what country you're from but do you eat a lot of red meat? sometimes that can hold the key but it wouldn't explain the boils.

I think you need to go to a Doctor ASAP, preferably a colorectal surgeon. I know it's risky in your country but straight people have issues with their back passage too! you just don't have to mention the sexual contact. Although it would be good to get a full STI screen at your local sexual health clinic too.

Sorry I can't be of more help, I hope the answer is simple like a change of diet, or a course of antibiotics but only swabs/biopsies and blood test would be able to give you answers.


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Re: Need help figuring out what's wrong with me

Postby Canadabum » 01 Jun 2016, 16:00

i would agree with FF's advice...get yourself to a doctor who can take a look. you dont have to mention your sex life...these issues are dealt with by all so it may not even be relevant.

that said...if you really are afraid of finding a doc in your country -- not sure how close you are to israel, but that country has a very vibrant and open gay community and you would have absolutely no issue getting a doctor to deal with all of your issues without being concerned about your safety.

I don't have an answer for the boils...or the leakage...truth is that no one on this board will be able to give you a definite answer without themselves taking a look -- and that is why you need someone with expertise to check it out.

In the meantime -- make sure you drink a lot of water..or herbal teas. Keep the area as clean as possible by taking warm sitz baths after each bowel movement and keep your stool soft by eating a good amount of soluble fiber and perhaps taking a stool softener. Also...for your own sake you may want to stay away from other guys for a while until you get this sorted use in causing any further damage.

All best - CB
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