Yes, I have been thinking about you! I hope you got some answers that you were needing and liked the doctor that you saw!

Hope you will be feeling better. Take your time and take care of yourself. We are thinking about you!

Hi AF friends!
Sorry that I have not given details on my trip to the doctor before now.  I actually think it is very useful to report one's progress in this, and appreciate reading other's,  but have had some pain and just haven't felt good enough to do much- but, here I am.   
My appointment with the Colo-Rectal Surgeon was 23rd March. The doctor was not what I would describe as someone with a great bedside manner, but that is okay for me. he was good. 
He used a small anoscope and also a digital examination (if digital is the correct word). When done, he had not found the fissure. I, however, found the true meaning of the word pain. I managed not to scream at him, but did burst into tears, and that, embarrassingly, lasted the duration of the time being examined. Bloody painful!!!!!
It felt like the anoscope was cutting into me, and, in fact, it was so painful I thought he was taking a biopsy. But, he wasn't. I have now discovered - from the records of the visit which I obtained - that he actually put the anoscope in twice.  He also used a long Q tip "to try to efface the anoderm," which also also hurt like hell, but he still could not find the fissure. Very difficult for me to understand (in fact I DON'T understand), how something so tiny can cause so much pain to so many parts of that portion of the anatomy and not be visible. I could feel where the pain was the most, so have no idea why it was not visible to him. But there it is.  From his notes I  know now exactly what he did and why it hurt so exquisitely. His final words on the great search were "palpitating along the entire right side of the anus did reproduce the patient's pain" which rather sums up my problems. He was very thorough. 
He has prescribed Nifedipine without petroleum and Lidocaine, both of which I have had previous reactions to. If this does not work, he wants to do a colonoscopy, and under anesthetic for this will give me BOTOX. He said that he would not remove anything more from my rear; he said there is a "large external hemorrhoidal tag in the left lateral position" and the right side of my anus is "smooth and somewhat scared". Which is where, whatever he touched, made me scream with pain. I actually have a high pain tolerance, so this - I kid you not - was very painful.  He also said that I  did not have anything more than diverticulosis, which he said is more than common. I have started the Nifedipine, but am not sure that I see much improvement, but I have only been using it on the outside (instructions for use were 'topical' so I take that as external), and am not sure how long it actually takes to show improvement? Any comments on that would be much appreciated. 
I keep remembering things that the doc said, as I go along writing this down. He said that I did NOT have any significant anal stenosis, and that my anus was small but as he was able to get his finger in, it was not something I need worry about. My previous OB/GYN, a midwife, had rather freaked me out about that, telling me that skin could grow across and close up the anus. He said that was not going to happen. He also said that "there are people who have a very tender anal canal with sometimes no surgical solution". This he said, I suppose, because he could not locate the fissure... As I did not have ANY anal pain a year ago, I find that difficult to believe. Be that as it may. 
Sorry have been a bit slow with getting this written, but have been little down+pain. Been spending some time just lying on the bed and looking at the Internet, trying to come up with other solutions to what might be wrong. As my pain is not just to the anus and rectum, but extends (and always has since the beginning of this saga) to all the 'region,' I have been looking at Pelvic Floor Disorders, and am going to see a doc about that. Try and try again. 
If you got this far, thanks for reading! 
I do appreciate everyone's help on this board, and do not know what I would have done without the caring advice I have had here. 
Em