Greetings fellow sufferers!

My name is JD, I'm a 23 year old man living in the UK and I'm SO happy I've found this forum. I've been looking over the whole internet over the past few months looking for some form of help, solution, or support! And it feels like I've found all 3!

My AF started last year, and I remember going to the toilet (as you do) thinking about the list of jobs I had to do that day when suddenly i nearly fell off the seat through this unbearable sharp pain. it was as if 4 sharpened knives all facing outward were passing through my anal canal. I cried out in pain as I thought something really bad had happened. I stood up expecting to see my bowel in the toilet but there was just a large stool, nothing special about it. the pain wouldn't subside and I was scared to wipe, but did so anyway and there was just blood all over the paper. I felt faint and went to lie down on my side and cried with the pain. Dad heard me and came into my room to find me just in my boxers and trousers round my ankles with me sobbing and I couldn't explain to him how i was feeling. He offered to take me to the ER but I couldn't face the embarrassment. I took Paracetamol which helped and hoped it was a one off...

I was wrong.

Every BM felt the same, maybe even the pain got worse (I almost fainted with the pain a few days in) but the blood slowly resolved. I did some research online and was able to self diagnose an AF relatively simply. I bought Haemoclin from amazon after reading the reviews saying it was good for AF + Haemorrhoids etc, it was quite a neat little device and was very hygienic, with only mild discomfort to use. the Gel that's inserted with the device stung initially (I guess when it was meeting the open wound of the AF) but this subsided and the gel acted more of a lubricant to help stools pass. Don't get me wrong it helped! It just wasn't improving the situation but at least it was something.

After a few months of the pain not improving I gave in and went to my GP, who examined me and made that horrible noise where someone looks at something and isn't sure what to say. He just sucked air through his teeth and followed up with "that looks sore" I told him sore wasn't the word to use and that I couldn't cope any more. I cried infront of him as the examination hurt and he told me there wasn't much he could do which made me feel completely helpless.
He gave me two options:
1) surgery - advised against this due to risk of further fissures, delayed healing + incontinence risk
2) GTN cream which relaxes the sphincter

I opted for the second option and he gave my my px and off I went. I was eager to start the treatment and gave it a go when I got home, then came the headaches!! oh god the headaches. The gel stung the AF and the headaches made me wince, so took more paracetamol which helped. This continued on for the treatment and things got a little better! I stopped with the cream as it ran out and then I had a PAIN FREE bm!!!! oh my days it was bliss. I was so happy and back to my normal self. Then a week later it started again, I had a look in the mirror and suddenly I had developed this skin tag that came from inside my sphincter radiating to the outside. So on top of the pain I now became self concious of this new flap of skin that I adopted.

ANYWAY, that brings me to yesterday, I went back to my GP who was nice and said it was healing very well but said the skin tag was protecting the AF from healing 100% so I asked for it to be removed. He made the same sucking teeth noise and said it was impossible as the skin tag was 'complicated' and would carry more risk removing it than leaving it in. He gave me another PX for the same GTN cream and said to see how things go. I walked back to my car and sat down behind the wheel with a constant niggling stinging pain (in now way similar to the horrible pain i had at the start of my journey which is good) at the site of the sentinel pile.

Now I've found you guys! sorry for the long post but really had to vent. It seems depression comes hand in hand with a diagnosis of AF's and sentinel piles/haemorrhoids

I look forward to learning new things from the board and meeting new people.

JD x

Welcome! The knives part made me giggle. I'm new here and already feeling better having met all you folks going through the same thing. I'm a 32 y/o new Mom in California.

Hi everybody, hi JD! Sorry to hear about your awful time with this condition; describing the pain like knives is spot on!!

So peoples I'm Ils, (that's actually my real nick name, hehe) anyway I hope I don't alienate by possibly not being too seriously affected as... as J.D. OK I admit his post is the only one I've read, so perhaps there are others here who haven't had such a horrific ordeal..That's not to say that I haven't experienced that excruciating-like-knives-cutting pain

When I first experienced it, it was a good thing I was at home alone, I howled so much I think my family would have called an ambulance for sure.... but despite that pain, well my reaction in most cases when something untoward is to occur, is to try to convince myself that its just some temporary upset and not to worry about it, so I was thinking,..the pain did feel like it was some kind of tear in tissue around the a - hole....probably due to eating spicy foods or too many grainy food

And as bad as the pain was, its only been extremely bad on two occasions and only one of those occasions did the pain continue even after I'd left the toilet. That time I put some Savlon cream around the area and it worked. Being an Aussie I don't know what the equivalent would be in America; but its the sort of cream you would put on burns or lacerated skin, etc.

Though there were only a couple of times when the pain was really bad, there have been more several occasions when I have gone through the same ordeal but of which weren't as severly painful...and I have to say that the thing that really got me worrying was not so much the pain, but the bleeding.

You know how it is, any form of bleeding that suggests internal illness,...sets alarm bells ringing..!!!

But even then I still just tried to dismiss it, I figured nothing can be really bad with me, besides if I'd already made the self diagnosis that it was a tear then it should only be natural that bleeding would accompany a tear....right?

But then last night there was a bit of twist to my ordeal on the loo, yes it did seem like a big hard log was pushed out and yes it was somewhat painful, but nothing like the pain I've had on previous occasions. So when I saw the blood on the toilet paper I was perplexed...this time the stool passing didn't seem all that traumatic, but still I bled...So the inconsistency finally compelled me....(no, not to go to the doctor, I just can't face being poked about in the rear end or even having to catch poos for biopsy, no thanks) to see what I can find out on the internet. And so, still self diagnosing that I am, at least pretty much backed up by the net...I'm 90% sure it's an anal fissure, the other 10% possibility is that its haemorrhoids,...Look I'm just not the type to go to the doctor unless I am considerably convinced to do so and I will go only if this condition gets worse or if my poos go black or such....

So I hope I haven't offended anyone by perhaps sounding too nonchalant about it, I don't feel that at all...as every one's individual experience is different and therefore may react differently....

Buuuuut....there is something I am paranoid about...I've scrolled through a few sites and they didn't seem to mention anything about it, maybe that's because it's a non-issue and then hopefully I don't really need to be worried about it.

You see, I believe my a.f. is caused by diarrhoea and excessive wiping. And there has been (!!WARNING**!! What I'm about to write is highly embarrassing) an incident that led to the above mentioned paranoia. After going through a day of running to the toilet with diarrhoea about a hundred times, (fortunately I was at home)I had an 'accident' i.e I didn't make to the loo in time and (ahem) under clothes had to be changed. Mind you I haven't got to the really gross out part yet. This one time, when I had shat my pants, I went straight to the bathroom to clean myself up and whilst doing so I felt relieved to see that the mess hadn't passed through to my trousers and I only had to change my under wear. But this is the serious crazy part, somehow I didn't notice that whilst in the act of removing my clothes, I must have somehow spilled some of the 'scatter' onto the outside rear of my trousers!! But I put them back on thinking they were clean!!!

And I was still wearing them the next day going to the shops and what not! And that next day I was at my sister's house and my older brother was also visiting there. My older brother, on whom of which you can always depend on, to point out any irregularity or unseemliness in your appearance, said to me "What's that brown stuff on your arse?!" And me, still not putting two and two together, touched it (by now it was dried) and looked at it in the mirror and said to him that I must have spilled some chocolate whilst eating it on the couch and then sat on it.

But then when I got home I thought some more about it, because I couldn't really remember having eaten chocolate, while sitting on the couch, in the recent past... the truth of it dawned on me and I just wanted to die of horror and embarrassment on the spot! So all this disgustingness has led me to feeling paranoid and it doesn't help that on two separate incidences when we were all sitting around the dining table having lunch, the first time was my sister-in-law, the second time was my younger brother, wrinkled there noses and enquired of us all, not aiming at me specifically, "What's that smell? It smells like someone's shat themselves?" And even though I was sure I wasn't wearing poo stained clothes, I couldn't help feeling paranoid, maybe there was a stain somewhere that I wasn't aware of?

This all happened roughly about a couple of months ago,... so just when the paranoia was finally starting dissolve itself - I read a couple of posts on another related website, wriiten by someone with anal fissure, complaining about his or her stink!!! And I'm like what?, here I have finally assured myself that I am now clean,...(I still suffer regular bouts of diarrhoea but now am super meticulous about cleaning....which probably has contributed to the anal fissure) and this person has gone and referred to stink and now I'm paranoid all over again!!! Did I misinterpret this person's post?! Maybe their case was an exception because he/she developed an infection?? Surely a tear in muscle tissue that bleeds a bit wouldn't cause a significant stink? I've looked at numerous other web sites and they didn't say anything about a stink...

Please help me out my fellow anal fissure sufferers,? I haven't noticed a stink, but corr blimey I walked around with dried poo on the back of pants!!!! AAAArrrrghh