msimon, I would say - do whatever feels good and doesn't hurt. Take it slowly. Sex didn't cause me any problems while my fissure was active, except that I felt so yucky down there I couldn't get interested. If I made the effort, it was fine.
Orgasm didn't hurt or have repercussions.
Everyone is different, so be careful. And try to have fun!

non existant here - self confidence and fear of pain at all time high.

I haven't had any sex since about 7 months before the baby was born and then had this happened so I haven't had anything for around 9-10 months. No other sort of play either as I'm not interested. When/if this heals I will then have to deal with the episiotomy pain and scarring so I'm just kind of ignoring that side of me at the moment.

Deleted . duplicate

I avoid it. I should be having it regularly at this rampant young age, being gay doesn't actually mean I have to have anything going on in the bottom area sexually, but it knocks my confidence that someone may see how sore it is down there, also I would find it difficult to get sexually excited if the pain flares up during the act.
This is one of the big factors in me wanting to get healed asap, rather than just 'living with it' as the rectal surgeons keep suggesting

I did have sex a few days ago. First time in 9 months. I almost passed out of fear, but everything went ok :) It's very important to relax and try to enjoy it.

Jay, those rectal surgeons are idiots, lacking in human feeling and empathy. They should not be telling you to "live with" pain, fear and lack of sex. It would be great if anybody knows of a CRS who is understanding of gays, and doesn't think that sex is unimportant.

Is oral an option?