Hurtin...the choice is not the one you mentioned in your previous post...it is now between staying with the public system or going private -- sounds to me like you already know the direction you should go in...do me a favour, pick up your phone tomorrow and make an appointment with the private doc and tell them you need to see them within the week...not two.
You are a tough son of a gun...no way I would have lasted two weeks of spreading my cheeks and having someone stick something up there. I am no expert on what you are doing but here is a thought...perhaps your body is telling you to stop or slow down that method. Sometimes we all ignore our body's messages...perhaps the message is that you need to be more gentle. I know the feeling of wanting to suck it up and deal with the pain if it will result in success...only you will be able to really tell what your body is communicating to you.
I also understand the desire to throw out the "kit" of s#*t. No worries, you can replenish all of it easily...it is good to vary your approach to solving this issue because it is dynamic and will change with your body, what you are eating, your mental state etc. don't see throwing out the kit as a defeat of that method...just some justified frustration.
Pls call your private doc and let me know when your appt is scheduled for.
Best,
Canadabum