by Rosher » 06 Mar 2017, 19:50
I am posting this as this is what i am going to give to my CRS and other CRS'es i meet along the path, i dont think i can go much longer though in handling this...
Life impacting issues
I've already lost so much in life - 5 years to be exact from the age of 30.
I've lost a House mortgage, job, physical functioning, unable to sit for over 4 years, unable to play with my kids, unable to exercise, unable to relax, constant pain, fevers and bleeding. This is more than enough to drive you beyond insane. Just ask my psychologist.
My Wife and Children have to see me bed bound, crying almost every day and in chronic pain every day of their life.
This also impacts and affects them at how I react to them being short tempered and losing it.
My Wife, I treat her badly when im suffering to, She can not follow her career path as she has to care for me, cooking, cleaning as well as dealing with all of my emotional outbursts on a daily basis - Her life is on hold because of me and im lucky to still have her around.
EVERYONE suffers because of me - that almost makes me suicidal.
This isn't just a random spontaneous issue, this is a constant ongoing never ending cycle that I can't get out of.
Can you see how much harm is being done to an individual and an entire family by not taking any action.
Yet
All of this is due to an issue that can be resolved very quickly.
If we do not resolve this fast then it's the medical system that is causing major harm to an entire family.
Some people tried to tell me and delayed a colostomy / ileostomy by saying that it would be way to bad and cause to many issues in my situation,
But they didn't for a second even hear how my quality of life was already.
They blocked it out of their ears when i told them how it was for me, what was happening to me, THEY DID NOTHING!
THE ILEOSTOMY WAS THE BEST MOVE OF MY LIFE!
I know that with a rectum removed I will be able to sit one day, be out of pain one day, not lose it at my kids and wife, be able to work one day, be able to exercise and not be bed bound from the pain one day.
And you know something else, - everyone tells me im still so young! WELL USE THAT TO MY ADVANTAGE AND DO THE BIG OPERATING NOW - DON'T MAKE ME LOSE ANY MORE YEARS OF MY LIFE or cause long term harm to my family with insubstantial inconsequential operations or EUA’s that just repeat the same process!
This must be starting to make sense to you now.
3 operations and 7 EUA’s, the euas leave me worse off than a post op state.
Thats ALOT of suffering, just go to the end resolution.
I do not want 10 more procedures / operations if 1 or 2 can do the job.
I now have blood clots, chronic headaches, chronic damaged chest cartilage 2 years now that won't get any better, gluteal pressure pain and hip displacement & pain all as a result of not being able to sit correctly and multiple procedures, I am bed bound most of the time.
This leaves me semi disabled / incapacitated, severely restricted in my life and it isn't going to change. I can no longer sit, run, swim, surf, ride a bike, carry any heavy object, twist or rotate my entire upper body - I can walk slowly but with hip pain and lie in bed, THAT IS ABOUT IT!!!
Thats pretty serious if you ask me, or if you asked anyone whose concentration span could even contextualise this amount of suffering.
Every decision and action up until this point has been the surgeons, completely ignoring my wishes or concerns or knowingness of my own body and what it can handle.
I know i can't handle or take this for much longer, I know i need an end resolution, and skip the maybe’s.
You are not just dealing with an individual and his suffering, you have the lives of the family members and their well being in your hands as well.
Let's end this, or I will end this my self, and stop the suffering for my self and my entire family, and let them get on with life.
This is serious, don't act like it isn't a serious enough issue to warrant major surgery when i clearly will have a better quality of life than what i currently am now.