Hi Roseyaa
Thanks for your reply and sharing your journey. It's good to hear that you're also managing to gather the gifts from this experience. It's not such an easy thing to do.
With regards to your question about adapting the technique. When I was at my worst, I found it impossible to just insert the index finger. So I started out with just the tip of the pinkie until that felt familiar and then progressed from there until I could work up to using the index finger and making circular motions. This does take some time.
Instead of just using a lubricant (as mentioned in the link), I chose to use something that I felt would add to the healing. I would use different mixtures of the following - Coconut Oil, Bee Balm, Olive Oil, Calendula, Essential Oils etc. This would often lead to a temporary burning sensation but it never lasted that long.
I think by doing this I added to the belief that I was healing the fissure and this goes a long way in the healing process.
The second thing I did was to add a lot of self love to the experience. I would feel very deeply that this was a loving, nurturing and healing act (as opposed to something bizarre). It's a good idea to play relaxing meditative music to assist with this.
One of the things this fissure lead me to do was really spend more time with myself in a nurturing and caring way.
How was your experience with the self massage?
Jules