Haha! Reading the last post was funny. I remember that tomato shitemare. The next day I think I was still sensitive, but fine. It was definitely just irritation from the tomatoes.
Unfortunately I think I was getting a little too much metamucil and not enough water again, as this a.m. things came out a little hard. Because things are usually pretty smooth I kind of let things just happen without too much thought. Well, today I felt a little jab again. Some irritation. I probably could have avoided it if I had been on guard but things have been easy going for a while. No blood on TP. Go again at 5 or so...again, some irritation, but nothing on the TP. Hm...I definitely feel something is irritated. Get on with life, put in a suppository around 10. It goes in with little effort but a few minutes later I feel a slight sting -- slight but noticeable. Something is definitely not right. Then about 10 minutes later, another poop -- definitely something is irritated. But no blood again. I sometimes wonder if this in limbo state is worse than just knowing I have one. (I hope I didn't just doom myself into getting a full blown one tomorrow). Shower, consider doing a sitz, but decide to just use my butt bullet coated with some of my expired nitroglycerine oitnment (I use the max dose -- no headache -- might have to ask my PCP for a new rx). Take 800 mg of magnesium because I want things to be softer. Anyway, I stick in a butt bullet -- I feel a slight sting again. I also feel around a bit to see if I can locate the fissure (if there is one) -- and sure enough int he old usual location I feel a slight soreness. I think I may have a paper cut fissure, i.e. the fissure with a slight tear that hurts a little at first and doesnt even shed any blood, and is usually healed by the next day. I hope so. I am inserting a supp first thing in the morning tomorrow and making sure things are lubed up. I have a a trip in 10 days and I was really not imaging it would be all about managing a fissure (i.e. potentially having the squirts from too much magnesium in order to make things as soft as possible so the fissure can heal).
Note to self: err on the side of too little fiber than too much. Drink more water when you walk the dog. Don't drink tea in the afternoon. Don't get complacent and think just because you pooped at 5, your morning poop will be great. Or you can think that, just be more careful when you actually do poop not to let things just explode out of you.
Sigh. In the grand scheme of things, if this is all that is really going on down there that's been an identifiable concern in almost 6 months, I can handle this. I have more serious health issues to focus on, mental health being #1. This is child's play compared to potentially needing surgery on my foot to avoid chronic pain. I'd take the fissure if it meant I could walk pain free for the next 40 years or however long I live. Sometimes life seems really long, esp when you think of it in terms of chronic health issues.
Anyway, staying on the bright side here. A paper cut and some soreness is not a full blown bloody and excruciating fissure. For a little bit I remembered how I dreaded/feared going to the bathroom when I had one and how depressed I felt for those first few weeks, then every few weeks with the recurrences.
It's ok, butt. We'll get through this like we always do. Yawn.