April 2019 - now (back and forth; now in healed state)

A place for you to keep a record of your healing or surgery.

Return to Diaries




Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby appleapple » 17 Jul 2019, 08:37

7/17

This past week:
Seems like skin irritation/rash around anus might have something to do with propolis cream. To be safe I stopped both the propolis cream and the propolis suppositories. Itchiness has come down significantly.

Only using:
TCM-based fissure cream, 5 times a day
TCM-based hemmie cream, twice a day
diltiazem+lidocane, once a day right after BM
coconut oil suppository, right before bed (sometimes I skip this).

Half cap of Miralax seems to be enough for me for the most part. On some days I do have a harder tip though - luckily not so hard that I'd re-open the wound.

Hemmie only comes out a little bit during BM now. Much easier to push back too. Discomfort of pushing back: 0.5-1.

On most days, tightness/prickly feeling/mild ache around anus right after BM for about 1-2 hours, then for the rest of the day I feel like a normal person for the most part. Can do yoga, but no other workout yet.

Don't lose hope. Keep on healing. Have faith that I can heal!!!!!
appleapple
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 173
Topics: 5
Joined: 07 Apr 2019, 19:03
Has thanked: 8 times
Been thanked: 15 times
Gender: None specified

Re: fissure diary (debilitating spasms started 3/31/2019)

Postby appleapple » 24 Jul 2019, 17:21

7/24

This past week:
Had a bad BM on Sunday. Not super firm, but formed enough (big diameter) for me to have a miserable day, and a few borderline miserable days after that. It feels like it set me back for days. Grhhhh. (Might be caused by an Rx bar I ate? Who knows...)

BM on Monday-Wed. were OK. Slightly firmer tips but not firm enough to rip me open.

Overall though I'd still say it's slowly improving? I've not used diltiazem+lidocane on most days post BM and the discomfort is bearable for the most part.

Miralax: back to half cap in the morning and half cap right before bed. Sooo freaking scared of bad BMs now.

Hemmie: comes out only a little bit, a very gentle push after wiping (use baby wipe between finger and anal skin) would do now.

Anal skin: still growing new skin in that area now that I've stopped the irritation-causing propolis cream. Not completely out of the woods yet (that area looks unsightly; discoloration; visible mildly scabby skin vs. new skin; random butt "zits" here and there), but a lot better than 2 weeks ago when I felt like I needed to scratch myself to death.

Don't lose hope. Keep on healing. Have faith that I can heal!!!!! Oh, also, praying for good BMs (is there a BM fairy out there?!) Lol
appleapple
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 173
Topics: 5
Joined: 07 Apr 2019, 19:03
Has thanked: 8 times
Been thanked: 15 times
Gender: None specified

Re: April 2019 - now (almost out of the woods)

Postby appleapple » 01 Aug 2019, 14:17

8/1/2019

Past week recap:

Feeling like I'm almost out of the woods. Discomfort/pain of BM and post-BM generally down to 0.5. Feeling like normal human 95% of the time. Noticeable improvement from last week. Every small improvement matters (and I use it to feed into my positive healing outlook. lol.) I noticed how soreness/discomfort after BM disappears just a little faster, how I feel tenderness on skin (near fissure site) less and less when using the suppository at night, how I can sit down comfortably almost immediately after a BM, etc.

My routine now:
Miralax: half cap in the morning and half cap before bed
Morning: Vaseline right after I wake up. BM usually between 8am and 10am. TCM cream and diltiazem+lidocaine right after BM.
Throughout the day: TCM cream 2-3 times
Evening: diltiazem+lidocaine
Before bed: TCM cream, suppository (I have 2-3 different kinds and switch them up)

I'm quite hopeful that in a week or two I'll feel completely normal during/after a BM. After that, the goal will be to keep stool soft, drink enough water, eat sensibly and keep my stress level in check.

Stay positive!!!!! Have faith in my body! It's done so much and so well! (Thank you, body.)
appleapple
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 173
Topics: 5
Joined: 07 Apr 2019, 19:03
Has thanked: 8 times
Been thanked: 15 times
Gender: None specified

Re: April 2019 - now (grhhh 3 steps back again)

Postby appleapple » 08 Aug 2019, 15:38

8/8/2019

Past week recap:

Just as I was feeling like I'm in the home stretch, something happened (I don't know exactly what) and it's in the wrong direction.

My BM has been consistently soft so I have no idea what caused it. One day BM just hurt a bit more than usual. I've got to a point where during BM I'd feel something is pressing against the fissure site (a dull discomfort/tenderness) as the stool passes through there, and on that day I felt it more acutely. The pain of pushing back the hemmie also was more acute. This happened about three days ago.

If I try to pull my bum cheeks apart - I can definitely feel there's a "cut" inside. Grhhh. How did this happen with soft stool? Am I making no progress at all all along and the pain was simply masked by diltiazem and lidocaine?!!!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
appleapple
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 173
Topics: 5
Joined: 07 Apr 2019, 19:03
Has thanked: 8 times
Been thanked: 15 times
Gender: None specified

Re: April 2019 - now (grhhh 3 steps back again)

Postby SeitenSenshi » 08 Aug 2019, 17:43

appleapple, I understand your frustration. I also have a semi-healing (?) fissure deep inside (it's been 4+ months), and I found that I can re-tear sometimes (or at least get a mini tear) for the slightest trauma. Even if stool is soft, if I try to poop too fast, the velocity and force is enough to tear open the fissure. So I poop slowly and carefully. Take your time, and never push! Also, I make sure to apply Vaseline deep enough to reach the fissure (sometimes I don't insert my finger deep enough, and I pay for it during a bowel movement).

Did you stop taking diltiazem and lidocaine recently? Diltiazem and lidocaine will definitely mask your pain. Diltiazem will lessen your pain, especially if your pain is coming from spasms. Lidocaine blocks pain signals coming from nerves directly. So please be careful, even if you don't feel pain, it may just be masked by the medication.

Hang in there! Sending you healing thoughts. We'll both get to full healing in the end.
SeitenSenshi
Fibre Addict
 
Posts: 6
Joined: 27 May 2019, 22:37
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 0 time
Gender: None specified

Re: April 2019 - now (grhhh 3 steps back again)

Postby appleapple » 09 Aug 2019, 09:42

SeitenSenshi - Thanks for the healing thoughts. I'm still taking diltiazem+lidocaine. It's a compound cream (two things mixed together). I use it twice a day.

4+months for you? Sounds like our onset started around the same time.

How's your healing going? I just noticed you gave your very post to me! Haha. Thanks!

Why is the bum so fragile! Grhhh. Such small trauma causes such great pain. *Random Venting*
appleapple
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 173
Topics: 5
Joined: 07 Apr 2019, 19:03
Has thanked: 8 times
Been thanked: 15 times
Gender: None specified

Re: April 2019 - now (grhhh 3 steps back again)

Postby SeitenSenshi » 09 Aug 2019, 12:15

If you're still taking diltiazem+lidocaine, I'm not sure why you're feeling a more "acute" pain. Perhaps it's one of those days where the fissure is irritated, telling you it's still there. If it's consistently getting worse though (not a random day/week or two), you can always talk to a doctor.

I've been following a lot of posts, I should introduce myself on another thread soon...

My healing has been slow (stuck at 80% for now). Along the way was a roller coaster ride (heal, step back, heal, step back). The cycle would continue until I do SOMETHING different to break the cycle (like try nifedipine or Vaseline). Right now my "acute" fissure pain (raw splitting, tearing sensation) is mostly gone, leaving me with scraping/burning/dull pressure sensation (possibly scar tissue). Good sign I guess? Now my mind is turning toward slight pain even deeper in the rectum (2-3 inches). Random dull throbs throughout the day. I suspect it's a hypertrophied papilla or internal hemmie at the upper end of the anal canal, but I'll schedule a sigmoidoscopy soon.

I think we have similar fissure backgrounds (onset, location, recovery), so I wanted to post here first :)
This site has given me a lot of support and information. I'll be here as well.
SeitenSenshi
Fibre Addict
 
Posts: 6
Joined: 27 May 2019, 22:37
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 0 time
Gender: None specified

Re: April 2019 - now (grhhh 3 steps back again)

Postby appleapple » 12 Aug 2019, 11:08

Thanks SeitenSenshi! Happy you posted here. Always an uplifting feeling that I'm not fighting this nasty thing alone.
appleapple
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 173
Topics: 5
Joined: 07 Apr 2019, 19:03
Has thanked: 8 times
Been thanked: 15 times
Gender: None specified

Re: April 2019 - now (grhhh 3 steps back again)

Postby appleapple » 12 Aug 2019, 11:16

8/12/2019
Last week's setback scared me a bit. BM was much more painful and when I contract the muscles down there I could distinctively feel a cut on the posterior left side.
The TCM doctor (and my mother) thinks I over-extended myself since the previous week I felt like I was recovering well and doubled-up on yoga classes, some of which were quite physically taxing (summer with no AC). The yoga movement itself may not have directly affected the wound, but it drains my "qi" (well, in TCM theory anyway).
So I layed low for a few days. Now I seem to be on the upward mend again. When I contract, I no longer feel the cut anymore. Still feels dull discomfort in that area though. Trying to sit less at work (to pull on butt cheeks less).
Hope this week is a week in the right direction.

Other details:
- Had Indian food yesterday. It was mildly spicy and I ate moderately. This morning's BM is still firmer than usual. I probably should stay off dangerous food, period. Let's see how tomorrow's BM goes.
appleapple
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 173
Topics: 5
Joined: 07 Apr 2019, 19:03
Has thanked: 8 times
Been thanked: 15 times
Gender: None specified

Re: April 2019 - now (almost healed! yay!)

Postby appleapple » 16 Aug 2019, 09:26

8/16/2019
This week has been fantastic so far!

Earlier this week (just 3 days ago) I read posts on this forum about Neosporin. When I feel the wound site with my finger, it does feel like there's no open cut but just the feeling you get when you press on a wound with inflammation. It felt swollen too (like a bump in the canal).So I went out and bought some and started applying it twice a day.

Yesterday I had the first BM where the push-back was completely pain free (My internal hemmie pops out just a tiny bit after BM. When I push it back, since it goes past the fissure site, I could always feel it, and the pain level is a good gauge of my healing process). I almost jumped out of the toilet seat when I realized it was zero pain. Lol.

BM itself involved some discomfort. I'm gonna give it more time. =)

All things considered, things are going well =)
appleapple
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 173
Topics: 5
Joined: 07 Apr 2019, 19:03
Has thanked: 8 times
Been thanked: 15 times
Gender: None specified


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Diaries



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests