Hey Butt Buddies,
Well, my regular doctor was on vacation so I had to see the "on call" doctor. It turns out that I had a thrombosed hemorrhoid at the incision site. I am so perplexed as to why this is happening because that vein was removed precisely to keep me from thrombosing over and over again so I wouldn't deal with this cycle of hemorrhoids and fissures etc. So, now I am wondering why I had teh surgery and endured so much if my life is not going to be improved at all. I will see my regular CRS next week to ask him about why this is happening and if ther could be sonme kind of compression down there that is causing me to thrombose in teh same spot over and over. I am also going to ask him to consider me for a colostomy. I think if I can get a reasonably active life back it will be worth the inconvience. I also wonder if they go do allography and maybe put somekind of barrier there to keep the skin from bulging and thrombosing. I am sure he will not be chomping at the bit to consider these things but I am quite certain I cannot go on in pain or fear or pain forever.
The doctor at WF did an incision and drainage to remove the clot. I am still bleeding and had a bad experience with him trying to pack me unnecessarily in my anus. Then when I screamed he ripped it out and started the bleeding again. All the other surgeries they just taped a pad or gauze outside to control the blood. Guess he was a little rusty as he in an oncologist and doesn't do this regularly.

On the bright side, I had my mammogram and ultrasound that were negative for cancer today. What is really pathetic is that I almost hoped that I did so maybe I could die. Isn't that awful. I need to slap myself.

Anyway, I am okay. Just feel so dejected that the surgery wasn't a success and I am going to keep getting one painful thrombosis after another. I hope he will help me. The doctor on call did say that one of his med school professors said that benign anal conditions are a real source of discomfort and suffering for patients-not completely unlike other pain even caused by cancer.

I do thank you all for your concern and caring. Forgive me for being so morose and depressing. I love you all.

Lecia,
I am so sorry :( :( :( you have to go through this. You are in my prayers for healing and also extra strength to get through this. Don't give up, things are going to get better.
I am happy at least your mammogram and ultrasound brought good news. It is good that you won't need to suffer through any cancer treatments.
Hoping you feel better very soon.

Take care,

Jo

Hey, Lecia. Very sorry to hear about your recent troubles. That totally sucks. All I can say is hang in there. Something will work out eventually. You're a source of inspiration to a lot of people.

Lecia,
I feel your pain. I felt the same way this past winter. Good news about your mammogram and ultrasound though. I also have thought maybe a colostomy is the way out from all of this. Hang in there and hopefully things will improve for you. When one is in constant pain, anyway out seems like a relief. I totally understand your feelings.
Cheryl

i am soooooo happy to hear your top half issues are nothing to be concerned about and that all is well.
i don't know what to say lecia about the colostomy as i can totally understand with all the issues that have kept you from living a more peaceful daily existence.
i remember at the beginning of this support web here, that we all talked about the possibility of just getting a colostomy.
well i know you are super young, like me :smile:, and it's waaaay toooo early to get a colostomy bag.....maybe we can focus on a prada or coach bag but let's wait a bit for that colostomy bag.
i am hoping you get some answers and that perhaps there needs to be something a little bit more done about that thrombosed vein.
maybe looking into vein health and see if there is anything in that research that can help in promoting happy anal veins.
hugs and more hugs and some pug hugs too,
gareth

Lecia,
I hope your appointment goes well next week. Has your doctor mentioned that he ever saw the hemmies come back this quickly before? Have they ever done a CT with contrast of that area? An MRI??? There has to be an underlying issue. Hopefully, he will have some answers for you.
I know how you feel about the colostomy thing. I suffered too for a long time before I had relief and always thought of things like this.
Congrats on everything being cancer free. I wish there was something I could do for you. My thoughts and prayers are always with you. Your such a beautiful person inside and out, and I know one day, no matter what it takes to get there, you will be happy again.
Jen :sprinkleheart:

Hey Lecia,
I'm sorry you didn't get better news. that really sucks!!

I know how hopeless you must feel. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

Thank you every one for your comfort. Jen-I think you are right, if an MRI could maybe pinpoint any compression or stagnation of blood flow might be able to tell us why this is happening again.

I got another thrombosed hemorrhoid right next to the first one now. I am just floored. I mean, really, this would be funny, if it was. I have a call into my GP to see if I can see a local surgeon just to drain it and follow up with my WF CRS next week. There has to be something going on. I really feel like there is some kind of curse being inflicted on me.

I don't know if I will even go to Colorado now. And I was supposesd to go to the Cure concert on Sunday and now that looks out.

I started back on my chinese herbs this morning which have Japonica Sophora (japanese plum) which is supposed to be good for hemmies and orderd some Natural Forces Hemorrhoids No more which got some good reviews on Amazon.

I wish someone could guarantee that I will get better but I am starting to think that this will never resolve.

Jen, as a nurse do you know much about patients with colostomies? I am dong a web search but there aren't a lot of sites with photos or real day to day scenarios of what a person would go through. I am thinking a bagless one might work. I would prefer Prada or Coach but i can't sh*t in those!

Wow, I dont blame you for wanting a colostomy bag, and for feeling cursed, this is absolutely terrible for you. I'm glad your scan was clear of cancer though,, thats one less worry at least.
I'm sorry that all your plans are having to be put on hold, you must feel totally and utterly ready to give up, but please hang in there, you're a strong, lovely person and you deserve to be well, and I'm sure you will be very soon.
My thoughts and prayers are with you always,
sending big hugs across the pond!

Lecia -
Prada or coach! :D Your such a great person - you still have kept your sence of humor despite this recent setback.
I really don't know too much about colostomies. I still have an entire year before I gradute. I have never heard of the bagless ones. I do know that people who get them have them for 20, 30, and even forty years and live good lives. There are alot of support groups for colostomy patients out there. Depending on the situation, you can also choose where you want the location of the stoma to be. This is helful because some people ware there jeans higher, lower, ect. when I am studing this weekend, I will lokk up colostomies in my textbook and if I see any useful information, I will post it.
Ok - so I was also thinking about thrombosis and how people get this in their legs (called a DVT) arms, lungs (pulmonary embloism). You just happen to get these clots in your hemmroids. Is taking a anticoagulant drug a treatment for this? These drugs (like coumadin) thin the blood to prevent thrombosis from occuring in different parts of the body. It makes me wonder if it would do the same for someone who gets chronic reoccuring thrombosed hemmies. Also, thrombolitics, another drug catagory, is administered to patients once they have a clot/thrombosis (like a DVT) to break up that particular clot. I may be going way out of the deep end on this - but it is worth doing some reserch on I think.
I am sorry you have to miss your concert and trip. I hope you get some answers soon dear Lecia.
As always, I am praying for you -
Jen