ahhhhhh - soup any time , yum yum yum slurp slurp : ))) !!! Chicken noodle is my favorite and split pea too !!!! Although I don't know how to make split pea : (.
Would you r. sleep under flannel sheets and dawn comforter or sateen sheets and regular comforter ?

I guess porn since that wouldn't go on my record and I could say I thought it was playing "Mamma Mia!"

Your eccentric neighbor is having a yard sale, and you decide to wander through it and see if there are any items that might interest you. You find two - an odd looking brass lamp that, if you cleaned and polished it up nicely and displayed it, you think would make an interesting conversation piece - and a dusty book of magic spells with a lot of Latin-sounding words and strange-looking characters in it that you think would provide you with some rainy-day amusement. However, you only have enough money for one of the items, and your neighbor doesn't like to haggle over prices. Would you rather buy the first item or the second item?

I would take the dusty book, because I like books and lamps are boring as all get-out.
WYR be fined for DUI and have it in the local paper or for indecent behavior but not have it in the paper?

Define indecent.

OK, you were caught peeing in a public area!! Or you were earning your beads in New Orleans..

Peeing I would do. No one would throw me any beads. They would think I was a guy from that distance!

Would you rather have a teenage daughter who constantly talks in Valley Speak ("like OMG gag me with a spoon!") or a teenage daughter who constantly talks like Blanche Dubois ("Ah have always depended on the kahndness of strangers...")?

No they wouldn't!!
That would be COOL to have one that talked like Blanche!! The Valley girl speak would drive me bonkers in no time!
WYR be stuck with a southern drawl all your life or always have someone ask you to repeat what you just said, even though you speak clearly?

A southern drawl. I am hoping to pick one up! My youngest one has a bit of one.

Would you rather be a nightly sleepwalker, causing you to get in some potentially dangerous situations or a compulsive crotch-itcher in public?

I think a crotch scatcher, though repugnant, might be far safer!
In the same vein, would you rather be born a crotch scratcher or a butt scratcher?

crotch scratcher LOL, still more appealing than butt scratcher LOL
WYR drink from a faucet after a dog or slobbery sick baby ?