ohhh pinky i wish i could say something at all is "getting better". :( i don't feel much has gotten better since before the surgery at all, except now my butthole looks different. the pain is still exactly the same all the time unfortunately. BM pain hasn't been a problem since i first tore the fissure. i'm scared to stop the stool softeners. i've taken them for years (in addition to MOM) and i've never gone twice a day everyday like this. it's all so unbelievably depressing and frustrating. i guess i thought surgery #3 would be the quick fix the first 2 weren't.

Juney - I am so sorry that you are still in pain ! I know that going more can irritate the butt , but it is better to keep it soft and regular. It does make it burn , but hard BM can make it bleed and re tore so, I guess we have to choose the "lesser evil" I now take only smooth texture Metamucil once a day and I still go twice or 3 times , but it stopped burning and is medium soft. Yesterday I went "only twice" and I almost started to worry LOL- butts really know how to make us nervous either way !!! I went twice all my life, but now after all of what I had to endure even my normal self is worrying me It really is as Lecia said many times - post traumatic syndrome , and I think in about 10 years I will be able to relax again ...if ever...

fissy - going more than once a day is so hard b/c i have to sit in the hot bath after and then apply the gel inside and the vitamin e ointment outside just to be able to function. it's such a looong process and i can't really leave the house because what if i had to go somewhere else with no bath and no wipes?? what do you do about it since you go more than once everyday???
i'm still trying to keep a positive attitude but i can't shake the hopeless feeling that this will never end. i mean, if a fissure becomes chronic so that only surgery can fix it but surgery doesn't work...can you ever really hope to heal it at all? i just keep worrying myself thinking about that.

Juney - I went 5 times after surgery for many weeks - and yes - I was home-bound :( , so I completely can relate. Now that my butt does not have open sores I go out and if I need to go to the bathroom I use Balneol and baby-towels and they work wonderfully. Actually, I discovered that Balneol works great with regular paper too !!! Even better than baby wet-ones alone !!! But, I try not to go if I can escape that , and hurry home, poop and than go back to whatever I was doing. I found out that brain somehow controls the urge and does not even make me go until I come home . I think it is ingrained in early childhood that you do not poop "out" and when at home those muscles relax all of the sudden and one feels the urge.
Juney - don't worry about what ifs - it is very VERY hard not to - God knows how many days I cried over those same questions :( . The most important thing is that you are not in pain between the pooping and you remember that you went on vacation and had A GREAT TIME with not only fissure but a mini fistula too !!!! So, now it can only get better ! And, if it becomes chronic , it will form a lot of scar tissue to protect itself and the discomfort will be even less BUT _ I am sure that you will heal and that you just need time. Don't forget anal flap as a possibility too if it EVER comes to that !!! Keep up your hope Juney - you just must. Try to control pain - it can do chaos with ones emotions and healing.
All will be fine at the end, it is so hard to wait for that end - it is pure torture :( - we all here know that

juney wrote:fissy - going more than once a day is so hard b/c i have to sit in the hot bath after and then apply the gel inside and the vitamin e ointment outside just to be able to function. it's such a looong process and i can't really leave the house because what if i had to go somewhere else with no bath and no wipes?? what do you do about it since you go more than once everyday??? i'm still trying to keep a positive attitude but i can't shake the hopeless feeling that this will never end. i mean, if a fissure becomes chronic so that only surgery can fix it but surgery doesn't work...can you ever really hope to heal it at all? i just keep worrying myself thinking about that.

I've read the last posts on your thread Juney and I can relate to what you and Fissy write...it's hard having a fissure - in so many ways. One has to stay home, pain and discomfort, etc. It is so difficult live a normal life with butt pain...and the mental side of things are tough.
Juney, I have sometimes wished I had colostomy. I know it's no walk in the park, but having a chronic fissure isn't either. With a colostomy bag one can live a more normal life.
Take care sweetie
Bloody Mary

Corsi,
I mentioned to my GI doc that I would prefer a colostomy, but after reading posts of some people with Crohn's that had those, I changed my mind. There are disadvantages with that also. For example, pouchitis and other complications, but I guess it could always be an option.
Cheryl

I know Cheryl....
Juney, how are you and your butt doing? Do you still stay with your parents? Do you like to be there or would you rather have your own place?
Corsica :lovetree:

Corsi - i'm still with my parents. i've been on my own for 8 years so i don't mind staying with them now. not paying rent is especially nice right now, as i don't have a job or any income. my lease just ran out at my apartment, so it's kind of perfect timing.
as far as the butt goes, things are pretty much the same. i'm still using the recta-gel, but can only use it until tues. that'll be 2 weeks and that's as long as i can use it because it has hydrocortisone in it. i'm still taking baths twice a day, especially after BMs. i'm trying to eliminate things that may have been preventing my healing before, like acidy or citrusy foods, magnesium, ibuprofen, alcohol, etc. hopefully one day something will work, since surgery hasn't. just gotta keep trying! thanks for asking :)

That is such a cute kitty.
How are you doing? I know this has got to seem like an endless battle. If still would be curious if there was an underlying problem that is keeping you from healing.
Hang in there sweetpea!