thanks guys! yah i finally changed my avatar...that's my kitty Izzy. she's so sweet.
i had my 8 week follow up today. i'm stopping the recta-gel now. the dr said i can use it sparingly but shouldn't stay on it indefinitely. i didn't let him do the scope exam this time b/c it hurt so bad last time. he reassured me and said it will heal but it takes time, and i will definitely feel all kinds of aches and pains for awhile. he said 6 months - 1 year for weird pains and stuff b/c of all the scar tissue and trauma. so he was very reassuring, he definitely convinced my mom that i've got to be healing. as pessimistic and cynical as i am, i was less convinced. but i'm gonna try to hang in there and keep doing what i'm doing and hopefully it'll all make a difference. i go back in 5 or 6 weeks and i'll let him do the exam then.
i went out with friends on halloween and i actually danced and had a good time! i stopped drinking a few months ago and even though that's been weird getting used to, i know it'll be for the best. :) i'm just trying to be positive and not let anything get me down today. it's election day and i'm excited!!!!!

Juney,its good to know you are healing.did he say how much youve healed?
im glad you could have a good time.

no pinky he didn't say how much i've healed. i didn't let him do the exam cuz i couldn't bear to hear anything bad this time. i'm so pessimistic after so many disappointments. :( i just have to keep a positive attitude.
i hope you're doing well and able to enjoy time with your baby and husband

Nice to hear you had some fun and did some dancing Juney
Thats very realistic advice from your doctor :)
Of course it will take time to heal completely ....I believe it will happen for us all ...:nevergive:
Izzy is such a sweet name :cat02:

That is so cool-I am glad you got to do something to feel like a normal 26 year old. That is important. I wonder if you could take pain medicine and make yourself go out more. I am at the point where I have to do that because of my kids and sometimes I just think, hey I don't want to be in so much pain and I want to go get my haircut or go to the library or just get out of the house by myself and go sit in the park and read. If ever I am caught reading at home, it means, mom must not be busy so I get constant interruptions!

I bet your cat is great company. She is a beaut!

Hi Juney,
I am glad your Dr. thought there is healing going on, that is reassuring, especially for your Mom and hopefully for you too. You will heal! It is good you are remaining positive, that will help with your healing, also.
I am happy you were able to go out and enjoy yourself.
Take care,
:thinkofyou:
Jo

today was HORRIBLE. so much pain i spent the entire day crying. i couldn't sit until just now, and it's been 8 hours since my BM! even walking hurt all day and i finally understand what people mean when they talk about the friction causing pain. if this is just scar tissue, i'd have rather had the pain i had before surgery. i'm completely regretting my decision to have fissurectomy. i know i needed to but i'm miserable right now. i'm just starting to think my dr is completely incompetent. i don't feel healed and i don't feel any better than i did 9 weeks ago.
plus, there's been a new pain on the left side, which started on sunday afternoon. i feel it when i walk, when i stand up, basically when i move at all. i told the dr about it yesterday but he just attributed all new pains to "scar tissue". the pain isn't getting better and although it's not excruciating in itself it is very scary to feel any new pain on top of the same old pain.
my BMs are softer than ever but the pain today, all day, has been the worst i've felt in a long time. i just don't get it. maybe i'm too pessimistic, but i feel like the dr is just using this scar tissue excuse to get me to not come back for awhile. i don't believe it's just scar tissue. it freakin hurts!

I'm so sorry :( to hear you had a bad day.

Is there another Dr. you can see that you may be more comfortable with?
You shouldn't have to put up with such pain. Are you able to take anything for the pain?
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jo

Sorry to hear about your pain Juney and that you are down. You've been through so much with multiple surgeries, and years of fissure problems.
I know our Fissy doesn't want to jinx anything by writing anything but code here, but couldn't you PM her. Your situations are somewhat the same, and if you 2 have a private conversation you wouldn't jinx anything :D
Don't give up Juney, you are young and things will get better
Catwoman :lovetree:

:( I am sad to hear your bad day and pain Juney
Is it possible for a second opinon ? maybe this could give you some reassurance ?
I hope today is a better day for you