Thank you Fissy! You are an angel! My butt is on fire today-so hopefully that will help.

Juney,
I wish I could give you a hug. I know how you feel and it is so unfair to be in such pain for so long. I know you wonder if this was all worth it since you were doing so well before but like the others said, you really needed this surgery or you would end up in worse shape like our poor Bernard.

I agree with taking meds to control the pain. Have you tried 800 mg of ibuprofen? That will help with pain and inflammation of the area too. I have even been on celebrex for periods at a time. And yes, you need to be on something to help your depression. My doctor told me that she recommends it to anyone with a long term condition and that they be on anti-depressants for a year and that you need that long to put some space between you and whatever is going on. Lexipro is very well tolerated and is supposed to have the fewest side effects. In the meantime a small dose of xanax can take the edge of the panicky feeling and calm your brain so you are not sitting there anxious and so worried. I take it and it does not make me feel out of it or loopy.
The other thing I wanted to mention is flexeril. I had forgotten about it but during my period I found some because my cramps were so bad and it did help to relax my bum. Even though you might not feel spasms doesn't mean they aren't there making the whole area more sensitive.

Take heart, and know that you are going to get through this nightmare. I wish doctors were more upfront with healing and talk about the ups and downs. I am to the point where there are very few doctors that I don't double check what they say anymore.

The sun will come out again. Just hang in there.

Juney sorry!
Corsica

Juney,
I would strongly recommend Lexipro. I think it has really helped me a lot. These conditions can literally drive us bonkers if we let them and easily make us depressed. I think it would be worth a try because the mind, body, and spirit are all so closely intertwined. (i.e. your attitude and mood can greatly increase or decrease healing). And we can't always just "snap out of it." My GI doc told me he couldn't help me until I got my anxiety under control. I probably wouldn't have tried an anti-depressant if he hadn't told me that because I am basically against meds. Good luck.
Cheryl

the dr prescribed me prozac, 20mg a day. i've taken it before for headaches, but never saw an effect on my mood. maybe since it's for a different purpose this time, it will help. the dr was very compassionate. she understands that chronic pain for such a long time can cause depression and anxiety. she was really nice and patient as i sat there crying and rambling. i've always been able to talk myself out of it, at least for a day or 2, but i just can't do it myself anymore. i'm tired of spending every minute of everyday talking myself into a good mood. hopefully this medicine will at least numb my brain to it all a litte.
i was taking 800mg of ibuprofen 1-3 times every day for over a year. all it does is fool me into thinking i'm getting better and then one day when i forget to take it or don't have it near me i'm reminded that nothing is changing. things are exactly the same now as they have always been, except more sensitive and painful b/c of all the extra scar tissue. BMs are painful once again and i dread it every morning. the surgery didn't change anything except that now i slather ointment on all the time so i have no idea if there's mucus coming out anymore.
i'm trying to eliminate some of the medications and supplements i've been taking for so long. i just can't stop thinking that maybe one of those things has been the reason i've never healed. something is preventing me from healing and i have no idea what. i'm trying to depend more on fiber and natural softeners instead of all those chemicals and stuff.
thank you guys for your encouragement and suggestions. i will keep lexipro in mind in case the prozac doesn't help me in the next month...

You might want to try cymbalta or effexor if prozac doesn't help. It works on two neurotransmitters and can help with pain too.

You might also want to have some blood work done and see how your immune system is doing. Maybe there is an underlying reason why you aren't healing.

I know you are tired. I know exactly how you feel. I had to drug up to go pick up my kids from school and now I have to turn around and take them back for a school program and put on my happy face. It totally sucks. We can't live like this.

If you have to take medicine to fool yourself at least do it until your head is in a better place. And don't forget to ask about xanax or valium which can help relax your bum a bit.

I know I sound like such a pill pusher but I want to fight the pain back and not accept it or I am truly going to go insane.

Oh Juney, I am so sorry :( :( :( you are not feeling well.
Praying that the prozac will help you and if not, I hope you keep trying something new. I'll second ( or third) that the lexapro helps, I took it last summer and it really made a difference in the way I felt. It really did, and I think it is already helping my son who started it several weeks ago. It is so hard when you have a constant pain and health problem. Know that it just can't last and you will heal and get it all figured out.

Blessings to you, Juney.
:thinkofyou:
Jo

Butt problems are Juney. Feel so sorry for you sweetie
Take care & enjoy your furry friends
Bloody Mary

I hope your meds will help you through Juney , You need a break that’s for sure
I really hope you start to feel better all round very soon...
:thinkofyou:

Juney
Hope you are doing well sweetie If not, don't give up.... :lovetree:
Bloody Mary

thanks you guys. i had a really painful friday that had me crying all day, but then yesterday i had probably the BEST day i've had since the surgery. practically NO PAIN! i went to a wedding and sat in the hard pews without any problems! i even went to the movies last night and ate ice cream AND even had sex with my boyfriend for the first time in forever. LOL. i did take an Aleve yesterday morning so that may have made things feel so good, but that's ok. i'm going to try and remind myself of yesterday whenever i feel low in the future. it was such a good day and i felt pretty normal. maybe proof that things are slowly improving?? i hope so.
i'm not sure if the prozac has kicked in or not, they say it can take a few weeks. i still cried a lot this week, but after yesterday i think the tears have dried for a little while at least.