by derryboy » 20 Mar 2009, 15:24
A Wee scottish guy sitting at a bar, a big thug walks in and hits him to the floor and says "thats a karate chop from Korea"
Later the thug walks up to him and hits him again and says "thats a judo chop from Japan"
The wee scottish guy goes out and a few minutes later returns, smacks the thug on the head and knocks him out, with blood splattered everywhere
And says to the barman "when that thug wakes up tell him that was a crowbar from Scotland!!
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An Englishman and a Scotsman are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road.
Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road.
To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed.
In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on.
At this point, the Scotsman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of sherry. He hands the bottle to the Englishman, whom exclaims,'' may the Scots and the English live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The Englishman then tips the bottle and gulps half of the bottle down.
Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Scotsman, whom replies: '' no thanks, I'll just wait till the Police get here."