Thanks Suzy and Daz, it's been a day or so and things are worse I'd say, I'm not even having any good days just now , I think my depression has well and truly returned and everything has just fallen down around me, all I want to do is lie about , dam Daz I don't even think i care if I see Billy Connolly tomorrow, the old me is slowly dissappearing under all this and I can't get out, I'm slowly destroying my family and I really don't want to live any more .
Thursday I went and got the Fibresure, took 1 tsp and had also had a movical earlier but that was it, yesterday I only took one tsp fibresure and no movical ( mostly because I lay in bed till 3 to try and sleep the day away, hubby watched jaz, and I never drunk much which is wrong but I had the worst tummy pains yet ALL DAY, my hubby wouldn't let me not eat so I felt sick and bloated ad packed full, no wonder I never drank as I have the control on that. But now today after just one tsp fibresure this morning I have been FOUR TIMES, it was soft and pretty perfect I would say but it's too much, feel like I've kicked my recovery in the face, now I'm lying in the bath scared as hell I'm gonna get sore, you don't go to the lav that many times and get of scot free, I'm scared I've made it worse and I really really really feel like ending it all.
Oh nearly forgot I got my Sertraline (anti depressant) put up yesterday but I won't hold my breath ( ha or maybe I will). I can't see any other way to end this.

ohh peachie hunny, 4x going to the lacv is not gd, with problems like ours. but it least it was formed, i like to try and keep mine like toothpaste.. hard but it can be done..
but with ur restricted eating etc and not alot a intake of water it wil be harder for you id imagine.
but no i remember going sometimes 6/7 times when i was on movicol mixed with antibiotics and other meds, it was sore but cant say it made things worse, just more a little sore.
sertraline getting that hiked up should help, if not there are more out there,
as i found out pain etc etc does all get slowly ,very slowly at times for guys better,.
it got me down to, but am stil here, so if i can do it. u can ok,
so u go see the big yin the night. dont let fissures etc spoil things, ..
let me know how funny he was... he`s terriffic live... just hope you dont mind alot of crude, sexiist, dirty, swearing, and boy does he swear, everyword used, if ur at the front be prepare he takes the pi$$ out of the guys on front row seats.

Sorry you having so much trouble. I would recommend lubricating with a little KY jelly before each bm. It helps so much. Things come out easier and there is a barrier so it doesn't burn after and the best thing is unlike vaseline, clean up is really easy. I use a hand held bidet and it cleans right off. Suzy

yes, use vaseline as a barrier..I go 4 times EVERY morning of my life within the first 1 1 /2 hours of waking up, lately even 6 times because of the antibiotics and Miralax..so I know it sucks. All we can do is try to keep them soft and use the vaseline in case they're watery. Hope you have a better weekend.

Suzy,
Thanks for the suggestion of KY. It is probably much less greasy than vaseline, which I have used previously. Where did you find the handheld bidet? That sounds nifty and something that I might like to try. I live in the Midwest like you do! (Illinois).

Hi, I purchased the bidet on line and I got the travel one too, they are life savers and it's easy to install and use. http://www.sanicare.com/Mini-shower-Faucet-and-Toilet-Attachment-s/72.htm Hope this helps you. I liked it so much I have one in each bathroom. Suzy.

Thanks Daz, im ok now and no tummy pains since this morning. Its Sunday The Big Yin so i get tonight to relax and try and feel better for tomorrow, i dont mind crude,sexist or swearing, i f**kin luv him lol, have done since i was aboot 14 haha. The original plan for him was one night (tonight) but people were buing the tickets and then selling them for silly money as they do so he said he was doing one more night Sunday, two tickets per person with name printed, folk camped out the night for them on a thursday and me and Garry never found out about it till we saw it in the Tully that night and i noticed the rest (if any) tickets would be on sale next day at box office, so i called as soon as it opened and couldnt believe i got two tickets, bad thing is its the Gallery which is the furthest away so no stick of him haha bummer but at least we got them.
Anyway i forgot to say to you guys i now remember why i was taking three movical, its cause iv been on Tramodol for months max dose and constipaion is a side affect (as im sure you would do). But i was wondering, even though being on the movical ive no really had a 'proper' BM in a while sooooo my theory is the pains were comiing from all the sh*te (literally ) inside me so the Fibresure has helped me have a clearout so to speak and maybe it will be better from now on once a day with no pain??? do you think that is a good theory????. and the toothpaste consistancy is what i think is perfect too and thats what it was like this morning even though too many times. Im hoping to god it gets better, ive an addictive and obsessional personality and this is starting to rear its head with my bathroom routine and not going out incase i need to poo when im out!? Thats whats ruining me too, i have been pretty much pain free for 3 weeks since the op but its like im not prepared to accept it and put everything on hold preparing for the pain to start and with that, my anorexia, my stomach pains and trying to regulate my bowel movements im starting to go insane and thats why i feel like a huge black cloud is over my head and will not go away :(
Suzy i will def try the KY Jelly, never thought about that and one other thing you mentioned, a hand held bidet!! where can i get one????? thats my main for about going out , i only shower clean after a BM now as i dont want to wipe anything down there till im well and truly healed, ive never heard of such a thing, please let me know??

Sidra and Cheryl! you guys got in there while i was typing a reply! lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just went to the website Suzy, could get the travel one for $39 no ideain pounds but to ship to the UK its $75.75, thats ridiculous, that sounded perfect for what i needed and now i cant afford it, mind you why would i expect anything less, nothing goes my way. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Suzy,
Thanks for the website. That travel one might work well for my upcoming trip if I get to go.