Marsh,
I understand how you feel. I had a similar situation to yours where I was told I had hemorrhoids, and was treating my butt as such for months and months and months, until it got really bad. It really sucks when your doctor misdiagnoses you and causes you all that extra pain. Talk about frustrating.
When you add that to the constant pain and embarrassment and desperation to make the pain stop, and the fear of what you might have to go through to get to that point, I think anyone would be exhausted. Don't worry, you're not alone.
The surgery is the only thing that worked for me. I tried the nitro too, but like you I got pretty nasty headaches from it, and my treatment on it did not last long.
Stay here with us and feel free to moan and groan all you want. We are very understanding
Kate