by mmb0423 » 07 Apr 2010, 13:31
hi everyone! so, things have been going really well for the last 7 weeks. i haven't been having any pain before, during, or after bms. then all of the sudden there was a lot of bleeding during my bm today, and it's been a little uncomfortable since. i'm not really sure why though. the bm wasn't hard (it was a little large), and i have been doing everything the same... no changes. i called my crs this morning after it happened and moved my check up to tomorrow morning. i'm really nervous that he's going to suggest botox or lis now. i thought things were going so well that i can't help but be a little depressed about what happened today. i think i would feel differently if i had done something to provoke the incident, but i haven't changed a thing! i'm not really in much pain right now just uncomfortable, but can't stop crying all day anyway. i'm so afraid that the pain is coming back! my little girl has been so good today, and i'm mostly worried about the pain returning for her sake. i'm just not myself when i'm having the fissure pain. i'm depressed, pessimistic, and just a downer. i don't want to go back to that. i hope that the doctor will have some suggestions tomorrow. i guess i should just be happy for the seven weeks that i have been pain free, i've had some really good time with my baby!