Thanks for the comments everyone. It means so much to me to know that you all know this anguish. I'm already regretting not going through with the surgery, thinking "today I would be healing". I've finally emailed my principal to explain the situation to her. It's very hard to be out of the classroom, especially given that most of my kiddos had a teacher out 1/2 of last year due to breast cancer and they are very behind. That being said, I cannot keep putting things in front of myself, which is what I tend to do. I also have a student teacher starting with me 1/3 and I don't want to mess her up either.
I used the Dialtizem cream last night since I had the bad spasm the night before. Man, that stuff burns and makes me itch.

I called my GP and asked for a referral to a CRS and she said they will make the call. Hopefully I can get in while I'm off work these 2 weeks. Fingers crossed.

Just a thought (not sure where you are based) but here in the UK I 'Googled' my consultants name and it turned out he is listed as General Surgeon as well as a CRS. It may well be the same situation for you when you are placed with a consultant so I wouldn't worry straight away. You can 'background' check a lot of detail yourself and maybe like I did discover my CRS was in various medical groups, skills, career etc. It might just ease your worries about the consultant. You definitely need to remove as many doubts/worries as you can then go for it. In my experience the surgery is never quite as bad as your own mind has conjured. Hope it works out ok and these hols are good to you. :D

Thanks split. Of course, my mind still continues to think I should've had the surgery and I could be mending even as we speak. I wish I wasn't so damn indecisive and that my mind didn't swing from one extreme to the other, sometimes within a minute's time. What's your story?

I've had lots of hassles with AF which I won't repeat here but if you like you can read the two threads I have started at:
http://anal-fissure.org/t2562-new-bod-same-sob
http://anal-fissure.org/t2563-anyone-had-an-advancement-flap-surgical-procedure
As has been said above you have to be completely sure surgery is what you want. The trouble is an AF is a fickle little sod and will undoubtedly behave in exactly the opposite way to what you imagine. Most on here, from what I have read, seem to have had some surgery of sorts but that final decision has to be yours. I would say if you've had days bad enough to make you wish for surgery then stick with that reasoning. You should be able to agree with your CRS that even on the operating table if he/she finds the AF healed to a degree they would not perform a procedure on you. You should be accepting any procedure as a step forward and feel in control of that decision. Hope this helps.

hey reidgirl,
just checking up on you.
maybe you have posted a follow up on a new thread....
how is school? are you getting on fine?
i hope you are doing good and that you can have some time to sort things out so that either spring break or immediately when you break for summer, you can take care of this once and for all - if you should find yourself needing to over the semester.

Well hello there. Thanks for checking in on me. I had an appointment last Friday (2/4) with another CRS for a 2nd opinion. He looked at my fissure and said he would not rush into anything...he said it really wasn't that bad. Of course, that was music to my ears! He said I was the 3rd anal fissure that day. Made me feel better to hear that I wasn't alone in my woes. He scheduled me for LIS on 6/24...long enough for me to finish school and then get on with it. He is letting me try the nitro cream. Can't say whether or not it's doing anything, but I haven't had the headaches I've read about. The fissure seems to be behaving these days. I think psychologically it made me feel better to hear that it wasn't a "bad" one and he really said he only rushes people into surgery who have a really nasty one. He agreed that it looked healed at the moment. He was very gentle, reassuring, and I feel a lot better about going to him. So....long story short, I'm making it pretty good these days and we'll see how I feel about the surgery as the date gets closer. Thanks so much for checking on me! Hope you are doing well also!!

Hi reidgirl,
I wonder what kind of symptoms you have just now - can you share about that? Especially since your CRS said that your fissure isn't a "bad" one and that it is healing.
It's also interesting to note that he'll do the surgery in June, although you are healing. I think that's interesting for all the people that feel like they are healing and are questioning whether LIS is a good idea or not.