Congratulations Paul! It sounds like you are healing very nicely. I'm so glad you are enjoying painfree BMs. I'm still struggling to get there myself. It doesn't hurt like it used to, but the fissure and incision areas are still pretty tender and there is still some bleeding (I'm only 8 days post-LIS, so perhaps I shouldn't be too impatient).
Sorry I can't advise about the stool softener because I haven't really needed that; but I think some people very gradually taper off after a few months - others plan to stay on them for the rest of their lives. I would go with whatever works for you and not worry quite too much about what the surgeon says. Surgeons can only advise based on trends among patients generally, which may are may not be appropriate for particular patients. Anyway, that's my humble opinion. :D
I'm so happy for you that you are getting better. Hang in there and keep healing buddy!