After my CRS re-tore my AF one month ago it healed very quickly. Now it has remained closed for one month. :cheer: I do not have pain during or after BM. Plus my hemmie has become much better. So I should be extremely happy!
However my life is still very difficult. :no: I am scared of death every morning before BM that I will re-tear the AF again. My AF has never been well so long than now and I have struggled nearly one year with this already so the fear is horrible. This just does not go away. I am nearly panicking and maybe because of that I have horrible spasms (or is my sphincter just too small) during BM. My bowels are very soft but still I have to push alot to get something out and the bowels are extremely thin (thinner than pencil). Pushing will cause hemmies. I am absolutely sure that I eat enough fiber and drink lots of water. Will this never become easier? I am already thinking that should I have LIS just to get looser sphincter muscle because it is so hard to get the bowels out. :roll:
But, few days ago I went for shopping and that morning I had had BM (very thin bowels). Suddenly when I was in the shop I felt that I am getting diarrhea and I had to run ut from the shop. It was very close that I did not have an accident. Lucky me I found a toilet quickly and I had diarrhea. The bowels were just water. I was thinking that if I had had LIS then I think I would not been able to hold the bowels to get to toilet. In all how can my sphincter muscle be so tight that I cannot have normal BM but at the same time I have problems to keep bowels during diarrhea?
Do you have any ideas how could I have easier BM? You who have had LIS, do you feel that your inner sphincter muscle is looser during BM?

I wonder if you could benefit from Diltiazem or Nefidipine? That could help relax the spasms down there. I used to have those and they gave me that to help relax it though LIS was mentioned if it didn't help. I have also had doctors prescribed very small doses of valium to help relax that muscle.
Can you take warm baths? I know it is hard with a baby but that really helped me with spasms.
It could also be hormonally related too. I was taking borage oil to get my essential fatty acids and discovered it was making my spasms worse because it was affecting my hormonal levels. Once I quit that things got so much better.

I've read that even after the AF heals people sometimes still have problems with spasms. So yours is not an uncommon problem. I wonder if a shot of botox would be helpful. That definitely relaxes the sphincter. I also wonder if pressing your (gloved) finger against the sides of your anal canal would get you to loosen up some--a reminder to the involuntary muscle.

I am on Diltiazem already. I use it three times a day but I do not feel it helps at all. Buttgirl, I had botox three months ago and that helped even I felt that my sphincter was still very tight. However I got terrible itch after that and then my hemorrhoid problem started again therefore I am quite scared to try that again.
I am afraid to try to stretch my anal canal because I tried that once and it re-opened my AF.
I am just wondering that could the spasms be mentally related because of my stress? I know that the inner sphincter muscle is unvoluntary but could my stress cause the spasms?
I have also an other problem. Because I am eating lots of fiber I also get gas. After my hemorrhoid surgery I have not been able to pass gas silently. Maybe I cannot pass silent farts because the anal spinchter is too tight (this is my own speculation). It is difficult because when I am spending time with my friends I have to hold the gas. This is causing horrible stomach pain. However I cannot fart loud in social situations. I do not know how can I go to work in the future with all these problems.

I think for sure the spasms could be related to stress. I was told that I hold my tension there. I think from being in so much pain that area is just tense.
I go to an occupational therapist who helps to release the muscles and does work around that area to try to free it up a bit. You might also want to try accupuncture.
I know this is embarrasing for me to say but actually sexual intercourse seems to help as well. Maybe it stretches things a bit down there and helps that area to be relaxed.
You might want to look into enzymes you can supplement with to help break down the foods to help with the gas.
I don't want to sound like I am pushing people to try valium but a small dose could be helpful to help things relax down there.

Lecia, how long were you taking valium for?I'm on 5g and it says I can take it when needed up to twice a day, but I take it just once a day but every night. It relaxes me so much I nearly fall over(but at least I don't mind the pain so much!)but I'm a bit scared of taking it long term in case I get hooked on it

I think I was on 5 mg tablets. I took one after I went to the bathroom and could take up to 3 a day. I only took one a day though. It didn't affect me like it is you though. I wonder if you could break the pill in half and see if it will help the spasms but not make you feel so light on your feet.
They are addictive so you are right to want to use them judiciously and not longer than you have to. I never felt like I got dependent on them though since it was such a low dose once a day. Try halving it and see how that works!

That's a good idea, I'll try that. I was given pethidine but it only made me really spaced out, it didn't help with the pain at all. I had it when I was in labour though and it worked then!

Cinderella,
Let me tell you stress can cause alot of problems. I know first hand. I have valium too well its called Lorazapam and it helps me alot. Especially with the my CRS appts. I have learned to try to relax more myself but I always tighten up down there, that is why I take 2 baths a day to relax and read a magazine. I would also use a heating pad and Advil and that helped alot. I am also on Nefedipine cream and I had a shot of Botox and it has made a world of difference. Maybe you can talk to your doctor and express your concerns. Hang in there.
Patty