After my CRS re-tore my AF one month ago it healed very quickly. Now it has remained closed for one month. :cheer: I do not have pain during or after BM. Plus my hemmie has become much better. So I should be extremely happy!
However my life is still very difficult. :no: I am scared of death every morning before BM that I will re-tear the AF again. My AF has never been well so long than now and I have struggled nearly one year with this already so the fear is horrible. This just does not go away. I am nearly panicking and maybe because of that I have horrible spasms (or is my sphincter just too small) during BM. My bowels are very soft but still I have to push alot to get something out and the bowels are extremely thin (thinner than pencil). Pushing will cause hemmies. I am absolutely sure that I eat enough fiber and drink lots of water. Will this never become easier? I am already thinking that should I have LIS just to get looser sphincter muscle because it is so hard to get the bowels out. :roll:
But, few days ago I went for shopping and that morning I had had BM (very thin bowels). Suddenly when I was in the shop I felt that I am getting diarrhea and I had to run ut from the shop. It was very close that I did not have an accident. Lucky me I found a toilet quickly and I had diarrhea. The bowels were just water. I was thinking that if I had had LIS then I think I would not been able to hold the bowels to get to toilet. In all how can my sphincter muscle be so tight that I cannot have normal BM but at the same time I have problems to keep bowels during diarrhea?
Do you have any ideas how could I have easier BM? You who have had LIS, do you feel that your inner sphincter muscle is looser during BM?