stuckOnHold wrote:My close family are the only ones I know.
I tell everyone else I have a severe form of IBS. Most people are familiar with that even in a loose way. Usually this comes about when people are confused as to why I don't eat wheat, red meat, dairy products, or pasta/rice/potatoes etc... I say it's IBS and those foods mess me up.
Also IBS sufferers have a similar battle with constipation (some of the times) so it dovetails in quite nicely.
Yes, I feel a little bad for lying sometimes, but to be honest I can imagine that bringing 'torn anus' into any conversation at the work canteen or at a party is only going to kill the conversation. I wish I could be as frank as some of the others in this thread.
I feel like I will be able to be more open about this after (if) I heal one day. It won't be so bad in the past. Right now I feel a bit like I'm going to gross my friends out with my problem. Yes I feel ashamed, and it definitely hasn't helped my self esteem.
I understand. What happens is that we already feel bad enough (physically, anyway) from having the torn anal area -- and then, we somehow feel shame when talking about it. So, we also feel isolation, as a result. That's what's good about this forum -- everyone has the same problem.
When I discuss my AF -- and I readily DO discuss it, if the situation calls for me to do so -- I just figure that everyone has a bottom end - and that sooner or later, everyone will have to see a crs, especially when a person reaches a certain age. We don't get out of this life - most of us, anyway - without seeing a crs, at some point in life, even if it's just for a check-up (colonoscopy).
With that in mind, I don't mind discussing it. Besides, I figure that if people are bold enough to ask me, they'll get more of an answer than they bargained for. --- We're all human, and as such, are prone to various medical problems. This is just one of them.
Hang in there - it will be easier for you to discuss, as time goes by.