I am a 41 old woman and I live in the UK, have 2 boys and a dog :o) Also have extremely painful fissure and roids :o( I am very embarrassed to go to the doctor, I did go last week and the lady doctor was really offhand and rude. She made me feel like I had brought it all on myself by being overweight - she's probably right, but that doesn't help me right now! The other problem is that my husband thinks it's funny - he suffers from arrested development and so thinks anything to do with bottoms is hilarious. I can't seem to make him understand why I'm withdrawn and depressed - he can't believe it's just because of my bottom and keeps on and on at me to tell him what's 'really' wrong!
The main problem with the doctor is that I am very overweight and I hate for people to 'have' to touch me. This presents problems with all sorts of things, but the thought of someone having to examine my fat ass fills me with horror!!
I am taking so many laxatives and softeners that I feel like a hot air balloon! Any advice? Thanks

Hi mm, welcome to the forum. I understand your reluctance to see the GP, but its important to make sure you at least have an accurate diagnosis. I spent 3 months just assuming I had haemorrhoids. I had never heard of anal fissures and my ignorance turned out to be misguided and I wasted 3 months self medicating the wrong thing!
My first GP experience was poor too but I insisted on seeing a second GP and he was much better. Did your GP give a clear diagnosis?
I agree it is awkward but put yourselves in their shoes, they do this stuff day after day and whilst its a huge thing for us, to them it's patient X in a long row of patients. In 10 minutes he/she will have their finger up someone elses bum!
Make sure you know what you have, if it is AF related there's a ton of stuff on here that you can try. There's lots of advice and lots of friendly people so you don't need to feel alone.
If it is AF related, your GP may prescribe a cream/ointment which will help along with a change in diet, drinking lots of water and stool softeners. Just go easy on the laxatives, being too loose can be just as damaging as being too firm.
Find your triggers, might take a while, mine seem to be nuts, too much booze, too much red meat, so I am trying to cut out or cut down on all of these.
Hope this helps a bit. Good luck.

Hi there mm totally understand how u feel but as u said u have 2 boys so if I assume u've given birth twice (as I have!!) then it's really not as bad as that!! I first went to my gp many years ago and was mortified when she asked to examine me but knew it had to be done, I've had so many dr's have look now I'm really past caring now so it does get easier. I suggest you book an appointment with a different gp & tell them exactly how u feel about being examined before hand, as uk guy said gp's really have seen it all before & will continue to do so but if u let them know your concerns then I'm sure they'll understand. As far as husbands go I'm with u on that as well my partner of 15 yrs father of my daughter & son, just didn't want to know about anything going on in my bum area for years even though I wanted to tell him all about it he'd just change the subject!! Things have improved slightly since I've been under the hospital cos he's had to look after me after my procedure last week but i still have trouble making him understand just how much my bum hurts & how much being in pain effects me. I was reluctant to make changes to my diet at first I love my food especially all the bad things cheese, cake, crisps, chocolate,coke & alcohol bug i've suffered so much recently I've accepted I have to make changes in order to help myself & get my life back. Hope this helps, this is a great forum with lots of lovely people who know exactly what you are going through & really want to help & I've found that such a comfort when I'm feeling down,
All the best
Jill xx

what lovely replies, thanks so much. I too am realising my diet has got to change - too many quick snacks grabbed on the fly. Have changed to high fibre in the hope it'll help and am trying VERY hard not to wish piles on my husband!
Pregnancy and long time pushing with second child gave me the problem in the first place and it's just never gone away. The things we do for our children!
Just so happy to have found this forum as I don't think people who don't have this problem realise just how bad it really is!
Have a horrible feeling a trigger might be coffee! Am trying to switch to herbal tea, but keep dropping off

hi mm
I totally disagree with your doctor! Being overweight doesn't cause piles and fissures, it has to be many other additional factors. More than half of the people on this forum are skinny and athletic and yet they have those problems.
Is your fissure internal or external? Do you have spasms?
As for trigger food, for me it was Atkins diet...I lost 10 kg by eating very high protein and very little fiber. My piles worsen dramatically and I've got a fissure. I was in such an agony from BM pain and especially spasms, I stopped eating and lost another 10 kg in 6 weeks; now I gained some of it back, but sometimes I wish I never started dieting.
You will get tons of advise on this forum. I just want to emphasize that both fissure and piles doesn't like when we sit too much and when we push while having BM. It's very important to see a specialist; and I can tell that when the pain kicks hard - embarrassment doesn't exist any more.

pain not too bad today, which is not always a good thing - it allows me to put off going to the GP - have made definite appointment though with a nice lady doctor. Thanks for all your help and nice to know it;s not just being overweight that's got me here. GP's do tend to blame weight for everything - I suffer from sciatica too - but so does my Mum and she's tiny!
My job means I sit all the time and so I have set an alarm to make me get up and walk around every twenty minutes and I'm now on the soluble fibre - all things I 've learned from this forum! Thanks guys

and drink water until you're peeing like a racehorse,
then drink again ;-)
Number 1 on everyone's list is plenty of water.
I now drink a lot of herbal tea instead of normal tea/coffee. It all helps.

Hello MM...
I'm over weight and had to finally go to the doctor (thankfully I have a terrific woman doctor) and she needed to do a rectal examination and boy was it embarassing but I'm glad I got it over with. I have had mine for 2 months now and it's been so painful. After a BM it would throb terribly for almost 10 hours straight sometimes and it's made me get so depressed as well. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere...I've been missing out on family events because I cannot go either because of the pain or the fact that I need to be around a toilet. This is so horrible and until you have it you just do not understand. I'm hoping you are healed soon and maybe you should let your husband read some of these posts so he understands why you are feeling the way you do. This is definately not a laughing matter when someone you love is in terrible pain and misery. Thank you and all the best to you!