owmybum wrote:Anya is right, you need to be seen by a colorectal surgeon, she gives some good advice.
Hang on in there honey

OMB x

Thank OMB!!
I think Ms Cheryl gives great advice too!!

Your very welcome..... And yes, Cheryl does give great advice too! X
Omb

Pain,
My heart goes out to you....
You did nothing wrong - anyone (HIV or not) can get a fissure. Most of the time it's just bad luck and lack of knowledge on how you can prevent this stuff. No one would know until they suffered this...You did NOTHING wrong, no one got angry with you, you probably did nothing to deserve this but it happened. So many people go through the same thought process and at some stage, you will just learn to accept that it just happened and you just need to find your way to get through it.
You've hit rock bottom - so many of us do. Trust me I got anti-depressants to get me through all the mental anguish. I couldn't cope either. I just didn't want to get up in the mornings knowing what would probably lie ahead in my day. They didn't cure the fissure but lifted me to the extent I got my strength and positivity back to beat it. I don't regret taking these as they helped me mentally.
I have read so much from people like yourself in the US and the horrors of having to pay to get it all sorted. I can't offer a solution on that but maybe someone can. We complain about the waiting lists and delays here in the UK but that's nothing - at least we do have the opportunity to get it sorted even if it takes a while. Are you having any form of counselling to get through this or is that chargeable too?
You so desperately need help with this and I so hope someone from from the US can chime in to offer you some form of action you could take here.
In the meantime, you have to continue with everything you can do to keep those stools soft, hot baths, aloe vera to relieve. Rest when you can, scream when you need to, cry when you need to, vent and let it out but try not to dwell on it constantly and find a distraction method. Use that support from your family like never before. Don't even think about not eating. It will screw your body and your bowels up even more, causing you further grief.
People DO get through this! Healing happens although it can take a while to figure it out and you just can't see that light when you're in the middle of it all. It's too overwhelming.
Take it day by day, record what's working, what isn't, note when you have good times and what you ate.
I really want to hear you get through this.
Please someone else chime in with anything that might be able to practically help Pain with this and anyway of getting the help you can in the US system.
Thinking of you and wishing you healing and a way out of this mess very soon.

Thanks, guys (gals). Grape juice with fiber added (or not) is also a good additive to water with Miralax.

Thank you all for your words, support, advice, and time to reply to me, someone you've never met but can empathize with. I think I have some good news.
I went to see a surgeon !!! yay cheering! standing ovation lol. It was a general surgeon not a colo rectal surgeon but nevertheless not an general doctor and thanks to this site,I would of wasted time, money and hope with a doctor who would of prescibed me suppositories and fiber which would of left me hopeless, frustrated and in pain.
He said i have an anal fissure, he prescribed ... wait for it. NItro paste .02% whoo hoo when i heard those words, I knew that was correct again, because of this site. He told me to get a sitz bath, i said i have one, he said to take a stool softer like miralax or metamucil. I said, I do. He said to gradually up my fiber i said, I have. He said, you pretty much know what your doing then huh, and I said I do. lol.
I get the cream today, he said to put a pea size amount on my finger tip either in a finger cot or with a glove cuz if i get it on my skin over time It will give me headaches and so forth. He preferred metamucil anyone else have any luck with that? i haven't seen it anywhere on this site but I haven't read half the posts on this site so I dunno.
and for the bad news, in addition to my fissure they found a wart. not gential warts he said it does hve to do with sex and it is common in homosexuals but its different then the ones you get on the penis. He had this long name for them but I dont know what it was and he injected it with numbing medication (god knows i hate needles but with the mentality of "what happens today will solve weeks of pain") he sent it to the pathologist to have it looked at so I ask for those of you who pray please pray for me, that all will be ok, thats it not something as serious as cancer or and that it is treatable, curable or nothing at all. For all of you that don't pray but believe in a higher power of positive energy then please send that energy toward my way I need all the positive help I can get. Thank you so much you wonder group of determined people. We have one thing in common that we know of, but all our lives are so different, how beautiful is this place of such diverse humans who come to empathize and offer their help to each other who are going through the same feelings, pains, thoughts, and changes. I love you all even though I've never meet any one of you. Thank you

Dear pain-alfissure
so so glad to hear you were seen by a surgeon and that he has you on a solid treatment plan for your fissure. It really does make such a huge difference to have a plan.

I'm hoping for good results from your biopsy. More than likely it's going to just come back as viral in nature and he can come up with a treatment plan for you in that regard too. But it's really good that a biopsy has been performed to pinpoint the diagnosis.
All in all, this sounds great. We're all keeping you in our good thoughts and prayers.
For me, Metamucil made things too bulky, so I don't use it. I use acacia instead, which is 100% soluble fiber, which softens without the bulk. But I do know there have been others who have had good success with Metamucil. Everyone is different and it takes some experimenting to find what works for you.
Wishing you healing and better days ahead!

Great you got to see someone Pain and you have a course of action ahead. Nitro helps a lot of people and hoping this is what you need to help you through too. Just having the medical support and hope can be enough to keep you going through the hard times of the fissure.
Also wishing you the very best with your "wart" diagnosis and sending you positive energy.....Keep us updated and hoping things truly start turning a corner for you :)

Sending all sorts of good vibrations, love, thoughts, and a lot more your way. Will hold you in my thoughts and wish you free from worry of it all soon.
I take Metamucil cinnamon biscuits(just one a day for me with a glass of water). Think they are great. Mixture of Fiber, if I remember, both soluble and insoluble.
Good that you got the nitro. Just start off with a tiny bit to see whether you get zapped with headaches or not. Supposed to be the best, if the headaches don't get to you.

How are things Pain?