I had another retear over the weekend. The pain has been unbearable. Fortunatly, I have been able to have a few small bms. Usually I am not able to go at all for a few days. I had a small bm last night which I was so happy about. I decided to stay home today from work to soak and apply creams to treat the fissure. I tried to not push all day so that I had some healing, even though I had to go.
I tried to have a bm a little bit ago and to my surprise it was kind of easy. However, I felt the swelling and pain start coming on and I tried to push hard a couple of times to get what I could out. Unfortunatly, nothing came out and I start bleeding again. Now I retore the fissure and I am pain again .
Does anyone else do this? Does anyone get excited that they are able to go a bit with no pain and try to get out as much as you can then hurt yourself again? It is so frustrating. I can't stop crying when I go now. I work so hard to hold my bms back so I can heal and when I finally go I hurt myself again.

Hi vsweeney09,
I am sorry to hear you are suffering like this.. And even having to take time off work.
Please try not to hold on to a bm. If you feel the need to go you have to just go. That's what can make it dry out and become dry and difficult to evacuate. Secondly.. Avoid the urge to push your bm out. If it seems to be coming out easily just try and relax and wait a bit for the rest of it to come. You can always get up for a bit and go back to the toilet when the urge is there again.
I hope today is a better day for you
OMB x

Mineral oil - 1 TBS daily taken orally pref at night has saved my constipation and anxiety that comes along with it. Let me know how it works

Mineral oil - 1 TBS daily taken orally pref at night has saved my constipation and anxiety that comes along with it. Let me know how it works

I agree with the other posters on not waiting to evacuate. I know we all want avoid the painful cycle that begins anew with each BM, but the BMs must come. Even though they are incredibly painful, I have observed that after about 15 minutes I start to feel better. Dealing with all this and going to work is even more complex. Trust me, I've called in sick several days already. I carry babywipes with me to work and clean (patting/pushing instead of wiping) and always lubricate well afterward with vaseline, cortisone 1%, neosporine or just an oil (coconut oil is my favorite solution so far). GO to the bathroom when you feel it coming but lube generously before and after. Sitz bath when you get home and before work too. Helps a great deal. Good luck to all.