I'll definitely talk to my CRS about our plans moving forward... I've been avoiding my reproductive endocrinologist's office because I'm still so angry that this happened to me- the irrational part of me wants someone or something to blame, and the prescriber of the constipating medicines is the unlucky fellow. I don't know that I can have kids, but I'm not opposed to a c-section if that at all minimizes the risk of incontinence. As for me resuming treatments... I'm in too much pain right now. I spend on average 3 hours a day tending to my wound. It's one thing trying to conceive naturally (although right now sex is out of the question- owwwww!), but it's so physically draining going in for constant monitoring, blood work, ultrasounds (the wand of the transvaginal ultrasound has reopened my fissure a few times), I just can't bear to do it now. And the biggest factor is the drugs themselves: they got me into this mess. The hormones (and constant hormonal fluctuations) are so constipating. I guess that would be my own word of caution to a woman in my position (in a lot of pain) thinking about conceiving via fertility drugs.

My heart goes out to you. I can't believe how much you are dealing with. I do want to offer my 2-cents, but I'm only now experiencing AF, long after my child-bearing years. Yet, I believe my current fissure happened along some scar tissue associated with the birth of my second child. He had a big head and they didn't cut me so I tore quite badly. I healed well at the time and now 20-years later (and with not watching my diet and sitting too much) I developed a HUGE AF at the site of old scar tissue. SO, my thinking is that if/when you can take on child-bearing, think about that C-section option. I delivered three babies vaginally. I also have to say that AF pain is strangly reminiscent of childbirth! The body trying to accomodate something too big (or hard) through a small somewhat flexible passage (the keyword being 'somewhat'). I have even used my Lamaze breathing (and cursing out loud) to get through BM's!! So in one respect, you should know that childbirth may not be much worse than what you have been suffering! I'm not intending to trivialize your choices. I'm just imaging that given what I know now, I would probably pursue the C-section and not straining this particular part of the anatomy. I would also hate for you to forego the whole experience of having kids because of this miserable problem. Emotionally, both are difficult. It would be best to get the AF resolved and then try NOT to recreate the problem during childbirth. Best of luck!

Hey Ladies,
I hear ya on the baby front. Sometimes I can feel so down and hopeless and only see this ridiculous fissure consuming my future. But at the end of the day that's just not true.
Darkeyes: Thanks for sharing what your CRS said, it's really encouraging that the AF doesn't run our lives.
Ceeteefeebs: I'm sorry for all you're dealing with. Just know that we're out here hoping for the very best for you.
Just'pain'tired: Thanks for the insight! I'm thinking if we're able to have a baby C-section may be best for us.
CRS on Thursday... will update then.

Just updating... after going to see the CRS he said the fissures looked like they were healing (super excited!) and to come back in another 4 weeks if things aren't improving.
When I asked him about pregnancy he said that pregnancy can complicate things and for where my fissures are at right now, that should be my priority. So we'll see.
I'm pretty bummed though. I was really hoping to start trying for a baby. :( BUT I am thankful and excited and hopeful for the healing process.

So glad to hear that your fissures are healing! That's really good news. It's definitely frustrating to wait on trying for a baby. My CRS said it's ok to try for a baby and she said it's fine to have a vaginal delivery. Her advice just doesn't sit right with me so for now I'm waiting on trying for a baby. I've only had a small amount of healing after 5 weeks on nifedipine so I'd like to be more healed up before trying.