Edel -
That's brilliant news that it was just a blip!! and very happy to read that and that you are back on track.
I know it's extremely hard to stop feeling scared about going for a BM - the fear almost becomes an automatic reaction when you feel you need to go, but these feelings can be softened a little, on a day by day basis, and especially as you start to heal and feel better, you'll begin to realise that going to toilet isn't as bad as you fear it will be afterall. I literally had to talk myself through it, out loud, when I was at my worst, that my BM will not be as bad as I thought it was going to be and actually it wasn't!
It's also a confidence thing I found - Firm belief and trust in yourself that you are eating the right things and that you will produce the soft stools you need, then complete faith that your body will act accordingly.
It is hard and it's having to relearn to think in a different way again but you will get there! I had a similar experience with my general toilet habits. I never knew what it was like NOT to strain at all - it's something I had always done. I had to completely learn a new way of pooping with no pushing and it was difficult! but I'm there now, and again, I just use positive thinking everytime coupled with good dietary habits to ensure that my stools evacuate easily and smoothly. This whole thing is a huge learning curve but you WILL get there in all respects