Thanks for welcoming me to the group. I’m so sorry to learn about the pain you’ve all been in as well, in what has been the most debilitating and depressing problem I’ve ever faced. I think what’s hardest for me (at least after the intense pain) has been the inability to tell people. I’m a 36 yr old female and not interested in sharing with friends- though the 2 I’ve told have been supportive, but clearly totally unaware of just what the pain is like or how serious it feels. It’s almost worse to tell people because it’s easier for them to discount it.
I am new to the forum, and 6 months into this issue. It started in April 2013, and I thought it was an hemorrhoid. Let it go about 2 weeks, then called and had to wait 2 more excruciating weeks to get in to a CRS. On that first visit, I was given Nitro .2% and Lydo. Told I had a 90% chance of recovering. I went back there 2 weeks later for follow up and they said that I “hadn’t achieved victory yet, but am close.” Fast forward 6 months and here I am, still in such pain. I think it keeps retearing.
I have never had bleeding, just truly incredible pain, usually after BM but sometimes a general burning throughout day as well. I’ve tried sitting on heat (this is probably my best strategy), sitting on ice, Advil, Sitz Baths, and of course diligent use of the medications. Still, the pain is there.
A little background: I have T2D and take metformin which really screws up my stomach. I am occasionally constipated but usually really loose with diarrhea, sometimes up to 5 or more times per day. I think this did it. I don’t really want an alternate medicine, and I’ve actually stabilized a lot on this med but just still don’t have the same normalcy someone else would in the BMs.
I’ve been thinking about a few issues and hoping you all could weigh in.
1. What is your best secret or tip to get through this? Anything you love? I’ve seen a couple posts on coconut oil- is that something your DR recommended? Mine never mentioned it.
2. Surgery. My doctor was extremely opposed to this option, though he does it a lot. For me he felt treatment would work and as a female still hoping to have a baby, he said it’s not a good option. Anyone have this surgery and then a successful pregnancy?
3. Pregnancy. I was hoping to be pregnant by now, but this has AF has put pregnancy on the back burner for now. I’m feeling such incredible stress and anxiety. Will it ever go away? Could it come back with a vengeance during a pregnancy? Could I take the same medications if I was pregnancy? Will I really never have another child because of this?
4. Overall stress and a. Since this happened, my panic and anxiety is sky high. It’s like I’m always totally afraid that the pain will hit, and that sort of unrest has leaked over into every other part of my life. When I wake in the morning, I have about 5 seconds of total calm until I can actually feel the cortisone flow through my body- that fight or flight hormone just goes nuts and within moments I’m in a full state of panic, which lasts most of the day. I feel like I’ve gone into “chronic” mode now, which sets off panic so much. I can’t handle this forever.
5. Relationships. I feel like an awful wife and mom to my 3 yr old son because I’m spending so much time on HP, SB, etc. I try not to talk about it b/ cI hate dragging everyone down, but it’s so awful. When I’m not doing those things, I’m online googling and reading everything I can. It’s like I’m obsessed.
6. This is really gross...but the medication application. I’ve been using a qtip and applying in the general area, but I don’t even really know exactly where it is?! I’ve read here about people inserting higher- any thoughts on that? Also- the nitro does not give me a headache. At all. I have refilled the prescription several times, and none of the bottles do create that side effect (I was wondering with the first bottle if it was missing the active ingredient or something).
I feel so terribly alone in this. I appreciate any correspondence with you!