Well, it's great that you are on this forum. You can get both support and good ideas for managing your AF. I'm sorry you've been suffering for such a long time and that you don't feel supported by your family. If you'd like to share your age and where you live (country) that might be helpful. I'm assuming you're at least 18 because you mentioned 'not going to college.' You are old enough to seek care on your own without your parent's permission, right? I imagine that cost is a factor, though. Are you on an insurance plan? I feel that you have a right to see a medical provider who isn't a family member. In fact, many or most providers would consider it unethical to treat a family member as you lack objectivity.
I understand the severity of pain you are dealing with. At some point, check out my pain level diary (in Success Stories). I have definitely experienced the fear of passing out due to pain. I used breathing and biting on something to help me cope during BM's when pain levels were above a 5.
You might work on water intake, diet changes and find a stool softener (I used docusate sodium and I still use a small dose of Metamucil (fiber supplement); others on this site swear by Miralax or similar). Make sure you don't over-do the insoluble fiber like I did earlier on, and balance with soluble fiber. Once your stools stay softer (to looser), I think, you can begin to heal.
Buy a sitz bath (goes on the toilet) or take a warm bath daily or after every BM. This helped me a lot!!!! Now, I find a heating pad comforting, but earlier on that probably would have been uncomfortable.
I am concerned that you find your way to a treating professional, who can evaluate you and help you weigh the pros and cons of different approaches in a non-judgmental atmosphere.
Hang in there and don't accept living with so much pain for much longer!