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new here and my miserable life

Postby dazzlily » 11 Aug 2013, 08:16

Please help me .I ve had chronic anal fissure for six years now.
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Re: new here and my miserable life

Postby dazzlily » 11 Aug 2013, 08:31

Hi everyone.I am new here and it is my first time to share my experience on an internet forum so please be supportive.
I should tell you that both my parents are doctors.My father is a surgeon and he does LIS cases frequently.But Sadly, he and my family are one of my biggest problems.
I have chronic anal fissure for 6 years and I think that I am going to be mad because of the pain,loneliness,misery and taking this on my own for the last six years.
I have so much pain that I think I would faint while doing defecaton So I do my defecation after 2 or 3 days(I know it furthers worsen it) but the pain is so much that I cannot do it everyday.
The fissure started when I was young I didn't know anything about it so the first two years I didn't tell it to anyone because of the shame,strict attitude of my parents, no moral support of my siblings and family.I must also tell you tat because of depression at that time I took anti depressiong medicines and sedatives. I was so much depressed in my life that I didn't go to college and remained at home but then afterwards I gathered myself and started doing normal activities but once I had become depressed and cried all day and stayed in bed all day and when I became normal my siblings started making fun of me and used sarcastic comments on me that I was a freak. This broke me down further and I became quiet and lonely to myself.So the main point was that ididnt tell my anal fissure to anyone because I thought they would make fun of me again.My dad knew about my condition as he is a surgeon but he didn't pay any attention to me.After four years because of my mother he examined me and told me that LIS had to be perfomed.I became so terrified of the operation that I said I wouldn't do it.He became quiet and said ok and gave me gtn to use.After that he didn't ever asked me about my health or was I taking any proper medicines or not.he knew how my siblings were treating me but he and my mother never showed any support to me Whenever I try to talk to them about my pain they turn me away by saying we will do LIS on you.But I am very afraid of I so I became quiet so they also go on with their lives.
Now please somebody help me.I have cried everyday in my bed, to myself.I have endured the pain everyday ,never told It to anyone, not even my best friends.I see my siblings as healthy as ever I wonder Why God didn't gave them this so they would know the pain of it.
Soembody please tell mewhat to do ,which medicines to use as I cannot go to anyother doctor,My parents wont allow it.
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Re: new here and my miserable life

Postby dazzlily » 11 Aug 2013, 08:36

I read some posts here and I felt relieved that someone else was like me too.I wasn't the only one .Also I read that by sharing your pain to the one who understands it lessens it.So if anyone of you who helps others would like to help me,Surely God will be pleased with him and help him in his life too.
I also apply coconut oil to my fissure because I read it on internet that it helps heal it.I also apply polyfax to it.I don't know which medicines to apply as my parents wont help me and neither would they allow me to go to any other doctor.I also have anxiety attacks due to this.
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Re: new here and my miserable life

Postby Just 'Pain' Tired » 11 Aug 2013, 11:15

Well, it's great that you are on this forum.  You can get both support and good ideas for managing your AF.  I'm sorry you've been suffering for such a long time and that you don't feel supported by your family.  If you'd like to share your age and where you live (country) that might be helpful.  I'm assuming you're at least 18 because you mentioned 'not going to college.'  You are old enough to seek care on your own without your parent's permission, right?  I imagine that cost is a factor, though.  Are you on an insurance plan?  I feel that you have a right to see a medical provider who isn't a family member.  In fact, many or most providers would consider it unethical to treat a family member as you lack objectivity.
I understand the severity of pain you are dealing with.  At some point, check out my pain level diary (in Success Stories).  I have definitely experienced the fear of passing out due to pain.  I used breathing and biting on something to help me cope during BM's when pain levels were above a 5.  
You might work on water intake, diet changes and find a stool softener (I used docusate sodium and I still use a small dose of Metamucil (fiber supplement); others on this site swear by Miralax or similar).  Make sure you don't over-do the insoluble fiber like I did earlier on, and balance with soluble fiber.  Once your stools stay softer (to looser), I think, you can begin to heal.  
Buy a sitz bath (goes on the toilet) or take a warm bath daily or after every BM.  This helped me a lot!!!!  Now, I find a heating pad comforting, but earlier on that probably would have been uncomfortable.  
I am concerned that you find your way to a treating professional, who can evaluate you and help you weigh the pros and cons of different approaches in a non-judgmental atmosphere.  
Hang in there and don't accept living with so much pain for much longer! Image
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Re: new here and my miserable life

Postby owmybum » 11 Aug 2013, 13:06

I'm so sorry to hear you are suffering alone, without the support of your family... Especially as they are doctors themselves!!
Please read through as many posts as possible to gain as much knowledge as you can to help yourself right now, at home. Just PT has given you some great tips to get you on the right track.
And yes, it would be helpful if we knew where a outs in the world you are, and if you're over 18.
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Re: new here and my miserable life

Postby Please go-away! » 12 Aug 2013, 18:27

Please Please do get help, yes we need to know your age, and if your of age, to seek out a CRS or gastrologist at a Clinic, prefer a hospital...as hard as it is,go past your sister's, tell your dad of your misery. "I feel that you have a right to see a medical provider who isn't a family member."
I so agree with JPT, you have the right, to tell your dad, gently, if he could refer you to a CSR/Doctor, that he would trust. either way you have to get the communication going with your parent's.
I know it's hard, Please try, and in the meanwhile read as many post's as possible, especially on fibre intake.
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Re: new here and my miserable life

Postby dazzlily » 13 Aug 2013, 01:31

Thankyou everyone. I am 21 years old.And I live in a society where girls dont have any freedom so I cannot do anything on my own .my only one nice sister also cannot do anything because without parents permission we cannot go anywhere.Ok ill try talking to him gently but I know his answer would be that ill do it myself no need to go anywhere but anyways I will try
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Re: new here and my miserable life

Postby dazzlily » 13 Aug 2013, 01:36

There are no sitz bath available here but I made one on my own in a tub and I m feeling pretty amazing right now.i will use it reguarly. And also miralax and metamucil are not available here too:(( wat should I do?? I think I should drink syrup cremafin which has milk of magnesia and paraffin and syrup lactitol monohydrate will it make my stool soft?? Please somebody help me in this.i need a stool softener not a laxative....
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Re: new here and my miserable life

Postby dazzlily » 13 Aug 2013, 01:40

I have money. I dont have any problem with money.i just need somebody to tell me the medicines names I will buy it then.Also I havr a burden of studies which makes everything more miserable too. Please somebody advice me aboug the diet. I eat carrot,cabbage,cucumber salad and white chickpea salad.is it enough?? What else should I eat? Should I eat white rice,white wheat flour,white bread,eggs,junk food,coke,red meat,white chicken?? Please somebody help me about what to eat so I have softer stool
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Re: new here and my miserable life

Postby dazzlily » 13 Aug 2013, 01:43

Should I apply turmeric and olive oil to fissure will it help? Also I read thAt putting water into rectum will make stool soft? Is it true?yesterday I had so much hard stool that I nearly passed out and whole day I was feeling severe pain.i wasnt able to do anythi.g
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