Every time I feel like I get a breakthrough and learn something new that helps, a day or two later things go spiraling out of control again. It's almost as if my fissure has a mind of it's own and when I do something that seems to work, it figures me out and presents an entirely new pain. I thought I had already been through every type of pain imaginable.
Much of my progress is due to what I've learned from all of you at this amazing site. Without the knowledge I've gained here, I'm terrified to think where I'd be. I've had my fissure (or fissures) for about 3 months now. I didn't know what I was dealing with (although had pretty much self diagnosed) but wasn't doing anything to treat the problem until I went the doctor and got the nitroglycerin. The doctor only looked at the outside of my bum and didn't poke and prod in there, much to my relief at the time. She diagnosed pretty much based just on my symptom description and a quick consult with a GI surgeon. I applied the ointment and much to my delight, I felt like a normal human being again for the first two days. She had told me it would take 2-4 weeks to feel better, but it was almost instant for me. I continued to use the nitro as directed, started changing my diet and felt I had nipped this in the bud before things got worse.
And then things got worse. I decided a trip to the gym was in order followed by a 2 mile walk home. What a huge mistake that was. I had to stay home from work for a week, having the razor blade like bowel movements followed by 10-12 hours of spasms, burning, prickling and stabbing sensations. I was also feeling quite a bit of just general soreness and bruising in the area. This was usually towards the end of the day.
This week was a little better. I made it back to work for the first three days. I have perfected the perfect bowel movement through diet and positioning on the toilet. This morning, I managed to go and it actually felt good. I never thought I'd ever again experience ones of those satisfying BMs. But I nearly did today. I've had no blood for over a week so I don't think I'm continuing to tear. But, the after burn and prickling has been super intense today. I'm about 4 hours past my last BM. It feels like broken glass is sitting just inside my rectum. When I was done with BM and got up off the pot, I still felt good. It wasn't until I applied my nitro that I started to get the intense pain. I suffered through it and sat on the heating pad for a while and got myself dressed and headed to work. The intensity of the pain I was feeling caused me to turn around and head back home. It's not just in the immediate are. I feel sharp pains shooting deep inside my anal canal as well as into the tissue of my but cheeks. Anyone else have this? When I got home I decided to take another bath and that felt okay while I was in it. I applied some coconut oil after and boy did that hurt! It got all prickly again and burned. Does anyone else have trouble with the coconut oil? It's not soothing to me like it seems to be for others. What I have is Organic extra virgin coconut oil. There's nothing else in it. I ordered the Colson E-Key suppositories which are due to arrive today but I'm sort of afraid to use them. Any thoughts on this?
Also, one thing that I was doing this week which was godsend was Ativan. It immediately and effectively relaxed my sphincter for hours so that I was able to pretty much go on with my day without too much discomfort, but that's not working today. Again, I think my fissure has a mind of it's own! It doesn't want me to get better.
I have noticed when I look down there with a mirror, two little bumps or tags. Could this be the sentinal tag I'm hearing so much about? I have two of them right next to each other. If there are two does that mean 2 fissures? If they are there does that mean the fissure is healing? If they are there and just on the rim of the opening are they want's causing me so much discomfort right now and not the fissure since my BMs are relatively painless. Someone please tell me that what I'm going through is part of the healing process and the worst is behind me. No pun intended. Thank you all so much for providing so much information and sharing your stories.