Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

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Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

Postby Diamond » 09 Nov 2012, 14:57

I hope it's not inappropriate for me to be asking about this on the forum :)
I would really appreciate if others could share their experiences - how long was it before things were back to "normal"?
I've followed other forums where people have said things are back to normal even though they still have as seton in.
Needless to say, my sex life has been pretty non-existent since all this drama started down below.
Any advice would be appreciated! Just FYI, I'm a 32 year old female - I'm assuming things may be slightly different for us women :)
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Re: Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

Postby TonyStone » 27 Nov 2012, 06:12

From my male point of view, I tried to get back on that saddle about 48 hours after surgery, I did it...although the twitching from the "O" caused me a bit of discomfort for a bit (it was worth it) That being said, being a guy, I would try to get back on the saddle in a hospice bed with a gunshot wound. "come on baby, its only bleeding a little!"
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Re: Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

Postby Diamond » 27 Nov 2012, 21:56

I believe that :) I guess it is easier for a guy to do! I guess the issue with being a female is that it's all technically in the same general area. In my case, it's the "ick" factor.. Right now I think it's all in my head!
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Re: Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

Postby shouldi » 29 Nov 2012, 02:37

Totally agree Diamond men find it easier..
i could not even think about it yet, 2 days after botox, to be honest things have been dodgy for a while as it is difficult when you have a AF so close to your private area incase it tears gain..everyone is different but its when you are ready... my husband has realised that the last year, but i am very lucky i have a gem of one :)
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Re: Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

Postby Diamond » 29 Nov 2012, 23:30

Its been months for me! I had two fistula tracts and it was mostly just the "ick" factor for me.. plus (too much info...) the awful mess that would be caused on the sheets. I had a couple of "blah" times earlier this year, and then just gave up on having a sex life! It was mostly just in my mind, as I definitely had days where it was possible.
I'm now 6 weeks post surgery - still have a seton, and some discharge. Nowhere near as much as I had prior to surgery.. and it's much easier to keep the area clean. So, I'm hoping for a switch in my mood any day now.
When I think back to my sex life prior to this nightmare - who would have thought this would ever happen to me :) Really puts a different perspective on life! My husband's been understanding - I think :) I feel awful and it's caused some tension where I sometimes wonder where he is when he has a late night, etc. But then I have to take a step back and just try to focus on myself and my health and getting better.
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Re: Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

Postby shouldi » 30 Nov 2012, 03:48

Diamond, you need to focus on getting yourself better and not worrying about your husband going without any sex life..
he really should be more understanding towards your problem, as i say to mine just think how you would feel if you had it..
i totally agree with you that its very frustrating when you think about your sex life before having AF, i do that but then think one day it wil, be back to how it used to be, thats the only way to think otherwise you would go mad...
focus on healing :)
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Re: Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

Postby Whatever » 01 Dec 2012, 11:38

After 3 wks post surgery my sex life has resumed. I do have a seton in for a few more months which is quite weird but after the 1st time of hesitation things have been great for the last week Image Good luck!
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Re: Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

Postby owmybum » 01 Dec 2012, 13:12

Sex life...... What sex life! My poor husband doesn't get a look in..... Hasn't for months!
He can see how I am suffering so doesn't push it at all... But you know... There are other things you can do together! Image
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Re: Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

Postby shouldi » 02 Dec 2012, 03:29

Lol....
you are so right there...
plenty of other options of things you can do.... :D
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Re: Sexual relations after fistula surgery/seton placement?

Postby Diamond » 02 Dec 2012, 22:34

LOL... I agree there are lots of other options but I personally tend to be an all or nothing type of person... so for me it's a mental block right now as I'm definitely focusing on healing. I've come a long way since surgery, but I know I still have a few more weeks to go.
My husband's definitely very understanding - but this has been going on for over 3 years for me now.. so it's been a rough 3 years (prob more so for me!). I honestly can't think of too many men that would have been this understanding for that long!
"Whatever" - I'm impressed! 3 weeks isn't much time at all - I'm over 6 weeks now.. My mind's been on it but still being a little hesitant. Mostly because of the seton - I'm not sure how much longer it will stay in but just the concept of it being there makes me nervous!
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