How bad?

But at least you can still sit down.

I have nothing to wear.

You have nothing to wear but you'd be fine wearing nothing!
i can never turn down a good play on words!
I blush too easily...

But it is good that you can blush-that you aren't desensitized!

My memory is going bad.

Your memory is fading but that's good, because you now forget all the mistakes and regrets of your life!
I had to put my new sat dish in a bad place....(broken record!)

Where did you put it?

But at least you got your Christmas present from your wife already!

I have no idea where I am going to be living in the next few years.

OK, I put it on the roof right where the kitchen entrance is. But there was already an ugly service pole there so it couldn't get much worse!
But right now at least you aren;t living in the Gaza Strip!
I fear losing touch with my best friends...

but your best friends would never let that happen, so you have nothing to worry about!
Its snowy outside and I got to drive ( ) so I'm very scared of wrapping my car around a tree or similar object....!!

But you find the lanes are cleared of snow and dry, all other drivers may way for you and you arrive back home safe and happy!
I can't get motivated to exercise...

But you look so hot that who needs exercise?

My car died this morning.

Your car died but the repairman thought you were so cute he didn't overcharge you like he does with most females.
Toots needs glasses....