Someone please tell me something positive..

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Someone please tell me something positive..

Postby Mae » 20 Mar 2017, 05:45

I am feeling *so* depressed about my fissure. The anxiety and depression is actually causing me to feel nauseous right now. I have no idea how I'm going to get through the workday today. This one is more painful and bleeds more than any previous occurrences. I feel so hopeless. To top it off, I have a very stressful job and can't use any sick days just yet because it's a new job and I'm in the "probation period" still. I don't know what to do. I feel so deeply sad and afraid. If someone could post something positive about life I'd appreciate it. I'm not having suicidal thoughts, but I am feeling like the world is utterly hopeless right now. And I feel trapped. Just when I think I'm starting to enjoy life (new career, just got married, etc) I'm hit with this again. And it's affecting both of those things and my ability to enjoy them. I have to head to work soon, but I can't stop crying. I feel like I'm going to be trapped by this fissure forever.
● Fissure first appeared Nov '14
● Cycle of healing and reappearing
● Using conservative methods (metamucil, managing anxiety)
Mae
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Re: Someone please tell me something positive..

Postby healthybutt » 20 Mar 2017, 14:59

:smilyhug:
I feel for you Mae! I have anxiety too and it skyrocketed with this condition. But you will heal eventually -- there is a path out of this torture, and there are so many success stories here that prove that. It's a dark time, but it is only temporary. When I start stressing about fissures, I formulate a game plan which helps me feel in control of a situation that seems to want to own me, not just physically, but mentally too. Also I found that everything I want to do is still possible (I love backpacking), I just need to be more careful, and if I get one again, then I will manage that when it comes, but it won't stop me from doing the things I love. I also meditate, do body scans, send good vibes down there, and joke about the "butt lozenges" I make for suppositories and imagine how I would respond to someone with a cough who asks me for a lozenge. Sending you healing thoughts and warm wishes :)
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Re: Someone please tell me something positive..

Postby Mypoorbutt » 20 Mar 2017, 15:32

Hi Mae,
I think a fissure is one of the worst things to have but then you know that.
I have had this for 2 years in August....mine was caused by my crohns and IBS. I did have very dark times usually when my spasms were lasting for over 24 hours after a BM and I just wanted the pain to end.
But and here is the good bit it does end it does get better and although I wouldn't wish a fissure on my worst enemy...it has taught me that there are time when I have to say no...it has shown me that actually I can endure more than I thought possible. It has also shown me sides of people I would never have seen otherwise and I know who I can really rely on now.
I still have bad times when my crohns or IBS flares up but now most of the time I am pretty much ok I do everything I used to do before the fissure...work, kids, gym, cinema, meals out. We have to be determined to live life to the full to enjoy and embrace the good days and know that the bad days will not last.
We have dealt with a level of pain (spasms) that not many people experience and we got through it....heck we are strong you are strong. A fissure is like a furnace that changes what you put in we all come out the other side brighter and stronger, give it time and allow yourself some rest.
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Re: Someone please tell me something positive..

Postby Mae » 05 Apr 2017, 18:39

Thank you both so much. I really meant to reply sooner but got too busy. I did read both of your posts though, and they did cheer me up some.

I saw my GP and she prescribed an antidepressant for my anxiety. Hopefully that'll help with the worrying. This was long overdue anyway. I've needed it for years. I'm starting counseling too. Maybe when I get the anxiety under control, the fissure will follow suit.

I've also upped my Metamucil from 4 capsules a day to 5. It makes my BMs border on too soft, but at least they've been without pain or bleeding. That's a big success in my book!
● Fissure first appeared Nov '14
● Cycle of healing and reappearing
● Using conservative methods (metamucil, managing anxiety)
Mae
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 132
Topics: 38
Joined: 01 Dec 2014, 21:24
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 3 times
Gender: Female


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