The neverending story

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The neverending story

Postby felix » 21 Jun 2015, 12:24

Hi everyone...I have not needed to post here for a little while because everything was going well. I have not had any pain for 3 weeks and was doing some pretty normal BMs as well. However, this morning, I did a bit of a hard poo and while nothing hurt at the time, there has been a lot of soreness today and the little bump that I think is a sentinal pile has been really sore.
There have been no spasms and when I had a look, I could not see any damage but there is another little bump to the side...?! I am freaking out because I finally thought I was putting this nightmare behind me but now feel really, really down and miserable.
I guess my thoughts are that no spasms are a good thing and no bleeding is also good but why has it decided to act up like this and will it ever heal on its own? I am worried that if it doesn't heal soon, I will end up going bonkers!!!!
I have had it since January and it has definitely improved since then but never goes fully away.. Any help/virtual hugs etc..appreciated.
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Re: The neverending story

Postby msimon » 21 Jun 2015, 12:54

:smilyhug: Felix, I know the neverending story myself. I am stuck in that too right now. Even after LIS. All I have to offer you is this hug. Hope something happens to finally cure you.

Do you take a stool softener? So important to avoid those hard BMs.
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
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Re: The neverending story

Postby felix » 21 Jun 2015, 16:45

Thanks for the hug..To be honest, I think it is slowly on the mend but just find the little setbacks so hard to cope with emotionally. I take Magnesium, Psyillium and flaxseed oil but have IBS so need to be careful or everything goes the other way, which is how I ended up in this mess in the first place!
Hope you get some relief soon as well..
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Re: The neverending story

Postby msimon » 21 Jun 2015, 17:35

I have IBS as well. It makes butt issues so much more difficult to resolve. I take magnesium and stool softener (Miralax/Restorlax).
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
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Re: The neverending story

Postby hopefull » 22 Jun 2015, 15:25

Hi Felix, sorry to hear you've had pain today. Hope you have done something to help support yourself emotionally. I find relaxing music helps. Its definitely a too long story, you sound like your on the right track.
:huggies:
AF since Jan '15 postpartum
Taking: Lax-sachets, flaxseed oil, Mg
Topical: Diltiazem, Sudocrem
Circulation: Warm wheat bag, relax, short walks
Tried: Rectogesic, slippery elm, Lactulose
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Re: The neverending story

Postby Canadabum » 22 Jun 2015, 16:17

Felix....i feel for you and am going through some of the same things you are. I too have experienced the dreaded set back after being good for many weeks if not a month or more. It is disheartening to experience the set back because we all just want this to be over with. I take some consolation in knowing that others have taken a year or more to heal and that their journey was also filled with many set backs after lots of good time. I personally never feel 100%...I am at about 90% i think....but that last push seems to be taking forever. I keep reminding myself that I never thought I would get here given where i was....so if my body could heal itself once to this point it can do it again and can hopefully go all the way...

Virtual hugs sent your way....hope you are feeling better.

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Re: The neverending story

Postby felix » 23 Jun 2015, 12:30

Thanks so much for the support...I am just really struggling today as I had a completely painless BM this morning and thought all was well and then looked at the paper and there was blood. I have not had any pain all day and can't understand how I could bleed and then be pain free but am so worried I have retorn and will go back to how it was originally...
My other thought was it could be bleeding from a haemorrhoid or something else and the really weird thing is that the soreness from yesterday is totally gone, as though the bleeding has made it better!! God knows, I am at my wits end but also know that I am not really in pain and so surely must be headed in the right direction but seeing blood after so long without it was terrifying.
Does anyone have any reassuring stories involving bleeding and no pain???!
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Re: The neverending story

Postby msimon » 23 Jun 2015, 13:15

Well, I don't have a reassuring story about bleeding and no pain because it did mean things opened up for me) but I have had this and so have many others on here. There seems to be a strange phenomenon in which there is less pain when bleeding sometimes. I have had this a number of times, both with my fissure and after my last surgery. My physiotherapist seems to think it is a good thing in that adhesions (restrictions in the skin) can form and need to be mobilized and this is the body's way of doing it. Makes sense but does seem like a setback. I have often thought that the bleeding was like a release of some sort, hence the pain relief.

Was there a lot of blood? Keep in mind that the tiniest of cuts down there can bleed a lot because the area is so full of blood vessels. It could heal up really quick again. Of course it could be a hemmie. It wasn't for me as it corresponded to the location of the fissure. My fingers are crossed for you.
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
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Re: The neverending story

Postby felix » 23 Jun 2015, 14:32

Thanks :D It is strange because I can feel about in there and push on where the fissure is and it does not hurt at all, yet the bleeding suggests it is not right...
To be honest, I have just lost the will today..I have had 3 pain free weeks and thought finally it was on the mend and then this. I don't want to have surgery as generally my pain is minimal and I have no spasms anymore but equally I can't carry on living in this paranoid, bum obsessed state!
felix
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Re: The neverending story

Postby felix » 26 Jun 2015, 15:07

Well after bleeding and a bit of soreness when pooing again, all is feeling fine and the pain never went back to being bad nor did any spasms start up so I am trying to stay positive about it all!!
I have started Diltiazem so maybe this will make a difference and give it that last push to finally go away...fingers crossed! Thanks to all for the replies, it really, really helped
felix
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