Hey everyone, I am so happy I found this site and I have been reading all the stories here. This is my story. In September of 08 I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I have NEVER in my life had any problems with my BMs or constipation. When I was about 6 weeks preg, my BMs became more hard and then the pain started. About a month later I started to notice blood on the TP and streaking my stools. I saw my OBGYN and she took a quick glance and said I was getting a tiny hemorrhoid. Well a month passed and the pain was getting worse, so I decided to see my family doctor. He used an anascope? I believe....worst pain in my life! Im sorry but that was worse than labor pains. He said I had a small tear and it was called an anal fissure. He put me on a high fiber diet and said it would clear up on its own, well it didnt!
So by the time I was seven months pregnant it was so painful to poo and there was so much blood everytime. Then after my BMs I found feel throbbing and pain for hours. I was so scared to poo and would have to grip on to something everytime I would go to the bathroom. My OBGYN decided to give me proctofoam and Lidocane. I used that for five days along with eating bran buds twice a day and finally I felt better! I then noticed a small flesh colored lump outside my anus a month later and they said it was a hemmorhoid caused by the pressure of my uterus. Well that caused little pain compared to the immense pain the fissure had previously caused so I didnt even care.
I had my son VIA C-section May 21st and then the pain and bleeding came back about 2 months later. I tried the proctofoam again, didnt work. High fiber diet, stool softeners, lidocane no relief blood every BM and feeling like my but hole is ripping open each time (sorry to be so graphic). I also still have the flesh colored lump (hemorrhoid) on the outside. It has now been 17 months since I was first diagnosed. I am a college student and unfortunately have NO health insurance. I am obsessed with google and am now worried. What if I was missed diagnosed? Can that happen? I am so afraid I have anal cancer. I am panicking because my mother died from cancer and I dont want my son to be without himm mommy. I love him so much and I do not know if im being overly paranoid or if it is something more serious. My symptoms now are still the tearing feeling with each BM, the lump on the outside (what they said was the hemorrhoid) and blood with each BM unless im fortunate enough to get the runs. I know I must sound crazy but since I cannot afford to see a doc right now I was hoping to maybe to get some advice here. Do they last this long and what about the lump? Thanks in advance everyone

Hey Tracy_Lynn..
It sure sounds like you have a fissure, from what you've described anyway, that tearing feeling with each BM would suggest it also, don't forget, you've already had a diagnosis that confirmed fissure and yes they can go on and on for years especially if they're chronic, i've had mine for approx 2 years now so your not alone, the lump on the outside of your anus could well be a skin tag from a previously healed hemorrhoid or indeed an external hemorrhoid, stick around i'm sure other people will give you advice when they login to the forum..

Hi Tracy - it is just horrible through how much suffering you went with your bum : ((((.
If I could - I would look at your butt LOL, but since I can not I just want to tell you that I am 99,9 % sure that you do NOT have any malignancy ! You have such a classical symptoms of fissure and outside hemmie. The sinister part about cancers is that they almost never hurt (unless lump is so big that it presses on the nerves), that is why they are usually discovered late : (((. I am so sorry to hear about your Mom : (((... I can completely understand your worry but as I said - if the symptoms are same as during pregnancy - that it is it - stupid fissure and hemmi : (((.
It is such a bummer that you do not have insurance - do you have a doctor and nurse on the Campus ??? Or go to ER at night - they have to take you in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ask them for the Nitro 0.2 % cream or Nifedipine cream 0.2 % . Those will relax your butt muscle and help you heal !
Also - VERY important - take warm soaks (in the tub) for 20 min , at least 3 times a day to promote relaxation and blood circulation in the anus.
I wish you could see a CRS !!!! It is about 200 $ per visit : (( without insurance *sigh... Can anybody help you with financing - "spot you" ???
Wishing you all the best !!!!!

tracy - like fissulyna, i'm 99.999999% positive you don't have cancer. it sounds like you have a chronic anal fissure with a skin tag (that's what that lump is. contrary to what your dr said, that's probably not a hemmorhoid. mine was misdiagnosed on the outside for months too). anyway, you need to see a dr right away. you NEED to get some cream as soon as possible (nitro, diltiazem, or nifedipine). lidocaine is just a numbing agent, it won't actually heal the fissure. and as far as i know, proctofoam has hydrocortisone in it which is horrible for fissures.
in the meantime, start taking miralax and/or stool softeners to get those BMs as soft as possible without causing diahhrea (cuz that's just as bad as hard..."the runs" will irritate the hell out of your fissure and make it worse!) Cut all junk out of your diet and start living on veggies, fruit, whole wheat cereal, oatmeal, fish, water, etc. I use a full dose of miralax and 1 tsp of benefiber everyday and my BMs stay pretty soft..but i avoid dairy, and red meat. (I've had AF for almost 4 years now and have had 3 surgeries).
unfortunately since you've had it so long you might need surgery but time will tell. also, regarding insurance, i've seen tons of doctors in the past 4 years and 1 of them i paid for out of pocket (the rest were thru my HMO). out of pocket visits were about $150 and my surgery was only $2500. i know that sounds like a lot but i just want you to know it's possible to get treated without insurance. and you need to be seen and start treating this before it gets worse. i went 9 months without getting treated and i believe that's the reason i've suffered for so long. once it becomes so chronic it's hard to ever get fixed.
good luck.

Sounds exactly like my symptoms, I'd bet 99% it's an anal fissure and not any cancer - so rest easier there. I actually borrowed the money from a bank to pay for my LIS..worth every penny to have your life back. Maybe you could do that..a personal loan or 0% off a credit card. To me, it was a so painful and ruining my life that it wouldn't have mattered if it was $200,00 to borrow and re-pay, I would have done it.