I seriously need some support. I've been dealing with fissures ever since I gave birth to my third (and last) daughter. At first, I didn't know what it was. I assumed hemorrhoids which are supposed to be so common after giving birth. After a couple of weeks it healed up and I had a few "good" years where it flared up only rarely. A little over a year ago it came back with a vengeance (thanks to many episodes of the stomach flu, and many courses of antibiotics for sinus infections, I think) and now I have multiple cuts...I saw a gastroenterologist and she prescribed some nitrate ointment, about 3 months ago. I'm 33 now, by the way. I'm active, otherwise healthy, and I'm not overweight at all. My biggest problem right now...is I don't know where to turn for more help. The ointment is no miracle. Neither is the bathtub, though I spend hours in it. I live in a small town--we don't have proctologists or CRS's here, only the gastro doc, and I'm not convinced she knows what she's doing. For one thing, she insulted my shoes , and the ointment she prescribed is 2%. Even I know it should be .2%...oh well, I've gotten used to it and I really don't get headaches, but it isn't working that great either. I think I have stenosis, stools are sometimes hard to pass and if it's a larger stool...I'm gonna tear, guaranteed. Mainly, they want me to come back for a colonoscopy. I don't know. I'm on the fence about that...like I said, I'm 33, don't have a family history of colon cancer or IBD, and my ass is already in pain, thanks. I want to see a better doctor...there is one, about an hour away. I don't really mind the drive, I'm just not sure if he participates with my insurance. I just cannot get off the dime right now. I think my butt is a mess and I'm afraid to hear how bad it really is, betcha I need LIS and anoplasty. WWJD? No, don't answer that. Tell me what you'd do.

Hey there,
I had LIS after 8 months with a fissure. I'm very happy with my results and would have done it a lot sooner had I known what I know now. The fear of the surgery was much worse than the results and recovery was better than the fissure, but I only had LIS/ and a skin tag removed. No anoplasty! It's a hard decision to make but you have to ask yourself is it going to get any better without surgery?! My quality of life was so poor with the fissure that I was ready to try something new and take the risk even though I was terrified. I'm glad I did because it gave me my quality of life back and it so wasn't worth all the procrastinating, false hope and fear. It actually felt good to take control and make that decision. I got tired of a fissure deciding how my day was going to be,Lol
I had to drive an hour away for all of my appointments and surgery. I live in a small town too, BUT it was worth it to get a good CRS.

Dawn, thanks for your reply. I guess I know what I need to do, but it's so hard to find the time for myself, even for needed doctor's appointments! I have a just-turned five year old daughter who's still in preschool. Which means, my husband will have to take time off work to watch her while I go to the doctor. I don't have any other family here in town that can help. And my husband just isn't that supportive, emotionally. I know most guys aren't...he just wants me to 'fix' this and doesn't want to deal with my head issues (i.e. fear of incontinence). I wonder how he'd feel if it was his body? I have no real-life support; I can't even tell my mom because she'd find a way to work it into every conversation with every random person she encountered, no kidding. A few years ago her next door neighbor had fissures, which turned out to be caused by some sort of cancer. That lady is fine now...but of course it still freaks me out...wondering if I could have cancer. But I realize that after five years, and at my age and health history, that's an unlikely scenario.

I totally understand your fears. When I first got my fissure, I had never heard of one. When I saw blood I freaked out. I just knew I had colon cancer. I was in a daze and freaking out for months. It took four months going to different doctors before I was diagnosed with a fissure. By that time, I already knew what it was myself. Don't freak yourself out though! You have had pain off and on for 5 years and chances are if it weren't just a fissure you'd been in terrible shape by now.
I have a six year old and had to have help for awhile during my fissure issues and surgery recovery, so I understand that. Is there any way you could schedule and appointment while she's in pre-school,like real early after you drop her off? Do you have any friends or a church member, etc... who could pick her up if you run late? I wish I could help, I know how hard things can be. I thank God that my older kids who are in college helped me through the tough times.
My husband was very supportive but I had my fissure 8 months. I imagine 5 years would have worn him down though. He was at this wits end when this was over. Our whole family was! It really does take an emotional toll on everyone. No one can really understand what a fissure sufferer goes through, unless they've experienced it! They just have no idea!
I want to reassure you on the incontinence thing though. Let that be the least of you worries. It just really isn't common. I have read every thread/ post on this board and haven't seen one case.
The people on this board have been very supportive and understand your fears, pain and where you are coming from. I came here many times to whine , get support, find answers when I had worn everyone else out in my life.

hi alpinestrawberry,
welcome to the af board.
i am glad you found us as you seem to be needing support and we are very good at that.
i am sorry you have been dealing with your fissure for so long. i have been for a while too and it's my seventh year i think and i just had surgery yesterday for LIS, among other things.
i hope you get to resolve your fissure situation soon.
hugs,
happy

Thanks again guys...having people to vent to really does help. It feels so isolating since social norms dictate that we don't discuss these things at dinner parties. Or anywhere else, really. Actually it wouldn't be fair to say I've worn my husband down with this...remember, I had four pretty good years where it was really a non-issue, and even now I don't whine and complain to him, although I'm sure I'm a little moodier/sadder than normal. And he would definitely be there to help out with the youngest, his job is flexible enough that it isn't a hardship for him to work from home if I need to go to the doctor. I know I'm my own biggest problem...but this is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and hopefully ever will! I am the type of person that will put off surgery as a last resort. It took me at least 5 years to do my sinus surgery, which was dumb in retrospect. I'm sure I'll feel the same about this, if I can just get over the wall and DO it!

Hi alp,
Quit being so hard on yourself! We all just do the best we can and make the best decisions we can. Sometimes it feels to me like if there's a bad decision or a wrong path to take out there, I'll find it. This really isn't easy and it's true, most other people just don't understand (including many/most doctors!). If you can't vent or get support elsewhere, you will sure get it here. The people here are wonderful, and very knowledgeable, especially the 'old salts'.
Welcome!

i can totally relate to you alpinestrawberry in trying to leave surgery for the last option.
when i got my magnificent fissure in 2004, it took me until 2008 to finally give in and booked the LIS then but then my ass took a turn for the better and the CRS cancelled it.
anyway, other issues came up and all it took for me was one bad constipated event early december 2010 to just do it. but my main urgency was really to get rid of a skin tag.
mission finally accomplished. it is very sad, looking back, that i didn't do this much sooner. in any event, as much hell as i endured, i kept doing life and kept busy, but it would have been even nicer if i had just taken care of it in 06 or 08 when things were really, really bad.

OK--I'm climbing the wall. I have an appointment with the CRS an hour away Feb 22nd. I feel like a fox caught in a trap--I'd bite through my own sphincter if I could. The lady on the phone was really nice...she says they do participate with my insurance, although the doctor may still be out of network. I said you know what? I'm beyond caring about the network. And she said, it gets like that.

Hi alpinestrawberry,
so sorry u have deal with this crap for way tooooo long. CONGRATS on the first big step making an appointment with the CRS. I have a lis 9weeks ago, i got my fissure also from the birth of my 1st daughter 10months ago.
This is the hardest thing i have ever dealt with, i thought i was nervous about giving birth to my daughter but that was nothing to the nerves i got the week and days leading up to my lis, then it was all over and was nothing like i thought it was going to be soooo much better. now trying to get my life back.
I 2 think i wore my hubby out, but its not something you want to just talk to people about, and why would we coz if they have not been thur it they just dont understand fully.
vent all you like because this forum has got soooo many people thur the worst. including me!