What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

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Re: What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

Postby Sweet Bugaboo » 22 Apr 2012, 16:03

MelissaB wrote:I have told 2 close friends and my mom ALL the details. My associates at work and my friends at church just know that I'm having "outpatient colon surgery" or "colo/rectal surgery". I haven't had anyone ask for more specifics than that. I figure that since the surgery is done by a CRS than it's not really lying and I don't have to give all the gory details. However, there was one person that wouldn't stop asking questions so I just said, "they have to cut my anus open and slice out the muscle"...she shut up. Image

Melissa, lol! I'm NOT laughing AT you -- it's just that I love the way you answered that person, so that she shut up, lol.
If I get asked about my surgery, I go into details. That's enough to make most people sorry they ever were ballsy enough to ask. --- IMO, most (polite) people -- I mean, acquaintances, not family/friends -- do not ask for details when a person mentions surgery. That's been my experience with this thing . . .
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Re: What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

Postby Sana1 » 13 May 2012, 01:06

Telling truth to my boss and co-workers was pretty embarassing. People maybe heard about haemorrhoids, but not about fissure. I stopped working for 10 weeks because I broke 3 bones on my left arm and shortly after I've got my fissure. When I returned, they noticed I look different and bugged me to tell how I managed to loose 25 pounds, so I decided not making up stories.
The hardest part was explaining my 9 and 13 years old kids "what is wrong with Mommy's butt". :oops: :oops:
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Re: What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

Postby Neen » 15 May 2012, 09:43

I dont care anymore either about telling the bare-assed truth. I worked at my church so I actually hand wrote a letter to my bosses, the priests....I didnt have a problem telling them i just didnt want to see their faces when i did. I have seen too many winces and gasps...but I have no problem telling my neighbors when I am slowly walking the dog and they ask why I am so skinny was I sick. I say yes, had a tear in my anus....after that there is usually a general discussion on bowel issues. i feel like i am educating people and telling them what not to :D get themselves into! when you remember that EVERYONE POOPS ...it's just another conversation!
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Re: What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

Postby Sweet Bugaboo » 15 May 2012, 11:53

IMO, the best thing to do is to just talk about it -- not in a particularly graphic way, but just tell people that there's a tear down in the "nethers" -- and most polished people won't press for details. In fact, IMO, most polished people won't ask for details after a person mentions that he/she has had surgery.
IF I am pressed for details, I let 'em have it. lol
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Re: What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

Postby stuckOnHold » 02 Jun 2012, 11:18

My close family are the only ones I know.
I tell everyone else I have a severe form of IBS. Most people are familiar with that even in a loose way. Usually this comes about when people are confused as to why I don't eat wheat, red meat, dairy products, or pasta/rice/potatoes etc... I say it's IBS and those foods mess me up.
Also IBS sufferers have a similar battle with constipation (some of the times) so it dovetails in quite nicely.
Yes, I feel a little bad for lying sometimes, but to be honest I can imagine that bringing 'torn anus' into any conversation at the work canteen or at a party is only going to kill the conversation. I wish I could be as frank as some of the others in this thread.
I feel like I will be able to be more open about this after (if) I heal one day. It won't be so bad in the past. Right now I feel a bit like I'm going to gross my friends out with my problem. Yes I feel ashamed, and it definitely hasn't helped my self esteem.
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Re: What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

Postby Sweet Bugaboo » 02 Jun 2012, 14:23

stuckOnHold wrote:My close family are the only ones I know.
I tell everyone else I have a severe form of IBS. Most people are familiar with that even in a loose way. Usually this comes about when people are confused as to why I don't eat wheat, red meat, dairy products, or pasta/rice/potatoes etc... I say it's IBS and those foods mess me up.
Also IBS sufferers have a similar battle with constipation (some of the times) so it dovetails in quite nicely.
Yes, I feel a little bad for lying sometimes, but to be honest I can imagine that bringing 'torn anus' into any conversation at the work canteen or at a party is only going to kill the conversation. I wish I could be as frank as some of the others in this thread.
I feel like I will be able to be more open about this after (if) I heal one day. It won't be so bad in the past. Right now I feel a bit like I'm going to gross my friends out with my problem. Yes I feel ashamed, and it definitely hasn't helped my self esteem.

I understand. What happens is that we already feel bad enough (physically, anyway) from having the torn anal area -- and then, we somehow feel shame when talking about it. So, we also feel isolation, as a result. That's what's good about this forum -- everyone has the same problem.
When I discuss my AF -- and I readily DO discuss it, if the situation calls for me to do so -- I just figure that everyone has a bottom end - and that sooner or later, everyone will have to see a crs, especially when a person reaches a certain age. We don't get out of this life - most of us, anyway - without seeing a crs, at some point in life, even if it's just for a check-up (colonoscopy).
With that in mind, I don't mind discussing it. Besides, I figure that if people are bold enough to ask me, they'll get more of an answer than they bargained for. --- We're all human, and as such, are prone to various medical problems. This is just one of them.
Hang in there - it will be easier for you to discuss, as time goes by.
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Re: What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

Postby Badd825 » 04 Jun 2012, 08:24

I started out telling my closest friends and family. As time progressed and I've missed a lot of work and social gatherings, I've told more people. I've lost over 15 pounds and I'm small so it's very obvious people ask me"what's wrong". Now I too am an open book. I call it the tails of my asscapades. I make myself the "butt" of the jokes. I'm not embarrassed just frustrated. My motto is those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter! I have found out who my friends are too. People have offered to shop, clean, do laundry. Ive had friends drive me to appts. Others have fallen off the face of the earth. So I see this as the silver lining. I know who I can count on and who was never a true friend to begin with. My husband has also risen to the occasion. He has been amazing as this has been the "worse" part in the for better or worse part of the vows. Well every kick in the ass is a push forward so I'm hoping to have gained something from this experience once I'm better. Share your story it can help relieve some of the anxiety and stress and make people more understanding.
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Re: What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

Postby Sweet Bugaboo » 04 Jun 2012, 10:32

Badd825 wrote:I started out telling my closest friends and family. As time progressed and I've missed a lot of work and social gatherings, I've told more people. I've lost over 15 pounds and I'm small so it's very obvious people ask me"what's wrong". Now I too am an open book. I call it the tails of my asscapades. I make myself the "butt" of the jokes. I'm not embarrassed just frustrated. My motto is those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter! I have found out who my friends are too. People have offered to shop, clean, do laundry. Ive had friends drive me to appts. Others have fallen off the face of the earth. So I see this as the silver lining. I know who I can count on and who was never a true friend to begin with. My husband has also risen to the occasion. He has been amazing as this has been the "worse" part in the for better or worse part of the vows. Well every kick in the ass is a push forward so I'm hoping to have gained something from this experience once I'm better. Share your story it can help relieve some of the anxiety and stress and make people more understanding.

Love it! - "Tails of My Asscapades," lol! Very clever -- and I think you're right, in that if you can bring some amount of humor into it, it's a little easier to talk about. --- In my case, my friends/loved ones know I'll talk about any medical subject, so it's really a non-issue for me, for the most part. In fact, yesterday after a piano concert, I was discussing my AF situation/recovery with my son's piano teacher, lol.
And you're right in that the people who mind don't matter - and the people who matter don't mind.
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Re: What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

Postby Sue27uk » 08 Jul 2012, 07:28

Hi Andy, can't find the thread I was talking to you on so replying on here. I had my operation/procedure yesterday and not feeling too bad today. Set up a thread in the surgery section where you can be updated on what happens. Really hope your botox in August helps you out, keep me updated on how you get on :D
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Re: What has everyone told their friends/colleagues/boss?

Postby Ever the Optimist » 08 Jul 2012, 11:54

I've told pretty much everybody! At first, I was also a bit hesitant but it just got to the point where it was such a part of my daily life, that I figured I'd just share it!!...My boss and work mates all know and have been FAB. They make me lots of cups of chamomile tea, check I've been drinking enough water and even bought me flowers when I was feeling real low one day and had a bit of a cry in the office!!...All the family know (we are extremely close) all my closest friends and I've even opened up to the mums of my daughter's school friends. Two of them have offered me support with childcare, even though I don't know them particularly well and always ask how I'm doing...I really don't care anymore who knows (not that I'd post on on FB or anything!!) but have found the more open I've been about it, the more I have accepted it, and the support I've received over it has been amazing :)
Chronic Fissure diagnosed December 2011
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Anal Fistula followed burst abscess in June 2012
2 internal troublesome piles remain & suspected, but undiagnosed, ongoing Levator Ani type symptoms & flare-ups
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