3.5 weeks pain free, almost felt completely back to normal, then this morning after my BM, no pain, but lots of blood. My heart sank like a stone, wtf had this come from? Of course I have a good idea. Last night was a special family occasion and I had a few beers and a burger. Nothing outrageous, maybe 4 pints of beer and this is the price I pay. I dare to have a normal night out, relax a little and I react adversely like this. I feel absolutely gutted. After all this time I clearly wasn't getting better and it feels like the only option open to me is to live like a reclusive monk for the rest of my life hooked permanently on medication.
I'm sorry but f*&$ing hell. Woe betide I try to have a bit of fun and enjoy myself.
Where now? Oh yes, back to the GP, more medication, probably surgery.

ukguy I totally understand. I just had 2 weeks of the same, thinking wow I feel good! So I ate some spag bol and let my hair down a bit too and then bam, same happened to me.
I feel the same atm like, "will I always have to live not enjoying and watching everything I eat obsessively?" never being able to have a steak again etc. It is shyt, I get it.
I dont know how long you have been dealing with yours but for me it is really only a few months and a few weeks since diagnosis and it is already grating at me.
That said, I do think that it can only be a good thing that we are having to be more aware of our diets. EverTheOptimist yesterday was saying that this is helped quite a lot by changing the way we view eating naughty food and I think this whole experience will certainly give us a healthier outlook with our diets, however I do get that you only had one burger, I only had one bowl of spag bol - that's moderation to me! That's not even being naughty is it!?
Hopefully if we continue to be "monk healthy" for a good sustained amount of time, maybe a couple of months solid, then it will have time to heal itself and we can start eating and drinking some of the things we really crave, in moderation and then when we do have to go, it will be better equipped to deal with a post burger BM.
....I hope! ***drools over a medium rare rib eye***
Keep your chin up ukguy, you aren't alone
x

Thanks whatwhat, appreciate that. Whilst I don't wish this on anyone it's nice to know you're not alone.
I do agree that it has forced me to look at what I eat/drink, and I don't mind that, but I just feel like the last 3.5 weeks have counted for nothing. In the past when I have had a setback it's been a) after a very hard BM from eating monkey nuts!? and b) after a heavy heavy night drinking.
I haven't touched nuts since (I love them) and have been very careful on the booze. Last night wasn't exactly a huge session - 4 pints with a meal over several hours - not something I would do every night but surely, every now and then that should be OK?
I travel a lot with long - long flights, foreign foods, often dining out with clients/colleagues which means I can't always just eat mung beans and soup and have sitz baths every few hours.
My feeling now is that I am not healing, I have never really been healing, just papering over the cracks (quite literally), and I will now have to have surgery and possibly suffer staining and incontinence for the rest of my life.
Bleak outlook, and I sometimes wonder if it's worth it.

I know what you mean and I do understand - who would have thought a couple of drinks would do that? I know.
How long have you been dealing with this for now? What treatments have you tried?
Monkey nuts ARGHH
Some people have had fantastic results and complete healing from having botox/surgery etc so if it does come to that for you, then it doesn't necessarily mean you would be incontinent for the rest of your life. People wouldn't have surgery if it just meant a blanket bleak outlook for all would they?
As far as healing goes I just don't know about that and suppose only really a doc could tell you exactly if you had healed for that period, but you have to think one day hopefully it will be 5 weeks, then 6 then 7 and then things will start to feel more permanently stable. If you had no blood for that long you must have been doing something right during that time to encourage healing. Maybe if you keep being monk like for long enough, it will heal fully and then you can revert to the occasional beer and burgers.
It's so hard I know, and I dont know the answers either, but we just have to hope!
I have a hen do holiday this weekend and it is going to be painful watching me try to behave throughout with all that booze and naughty food about!
Try and chill out tonight, tomorrow is a new day
X

That was a lovely comment, thanks WW. Sorry if I come across as a miserable sod at times. I lost perspective a little today. Back on the wagon I hop ;-)

:-)
You dont come across as a miserable sod, I totally understand
X

I remember it just as it were yesterday. Easter of this year. I'd gone an entire week without pain, and thought it would be ok to eat small portions of bad food at my in-laws house. The next morning, disaster and it set me back months.
I have not since deviated from my diet one single time. What's that been, 3 months? I'm a committed lifer.
Good luck with your decision.