Well, I had my appointment with my CRS yesterday. He looked at me again and couldn't see anything from the outside and peeking in a bit. He said the tissue looked very "healthy." The pain is coming from deeper inside, so without a scope, which I just can't do without lots of pain, he can't see anything. : ( He just gave me more Diltiazem ointment and told me to watch what I eat and drink a lot of water to keep stools soft, which is what I have been doing all along. No mention of anything else that could help me. When I asked about trying other ointments like Scientist mentioned on this forum, he said he doesn't prescribe Nitro or Nifedipine (just Diltiazem). He said Diltiazem was better than both of them and that was that with that line of questioning. When I asked if Diltiazem wouldn't be as effective after longterm use, he didn't really have an answer for me, either.

I asked him about LIS and fissurectomy. He said he cuts off the edges of the fissure to allow it to heal. He said it is a very quick 5-minute procedure done in an outpatient facility in the local area under general anesthesia. He said he's only had one or two failures the entire time he's done them and they occurred years later (he didn't tell me how many he's done, unfortunately... he just talked too quickly for me to get any more questions in). He said recovery wouldn't be that bad especially compared to something like a hemmoridectomy, but I find that very hard to believe from all the stories I've read on this forum and others. I tried to ask as many questions as I could about it, but he acted like it was no big deal and seemed to be in a rush to get out of there since he had other patients to attend to. : ( It just seemed like he didn't want to be bothered with quesitons because the procedure was so "easy" for him to perform. Honestly, if he doesn't want to listen or answer all my questions about it, I'm not sure if I should see someone else or not. It might be because I don't have health insurance and would have trouble affording any kind of surgery that he doesn't want to be bothered with me. I asked him the price of the surgery and he said "thousands." I just felt like he didn't take my concerns seriously. Any surgery is a huge deal to the patient, as minor as it may be to the surgeon. He's not the one that has to endure the recovery.

I'm honestly not sure what to do do at this point other than wait things out and see if things get gradually better as they always have in the past. Surgery seems like a gamble to me, recovery-wise, which is what I am fearing most. Some people seem to breeze through it with minimal to moderate pain and then feel better within a couple of weeks, while others struggle with horrible pain for weeks or even months and get complications. You never know how you will react to it, which makes it so scary.

In the meantime, I'm looking into getting some health insurance. I applied for Covered California since they extended the enrollment period and apparently I'm eligible for Medi-Cal assistance since I don't work, so I should receive a call about that within the next few weeks. This is stressful enough without having to think about how to pay for everything out-of-pocket and I think it's finally time I get some sort of assistance.

I have been feeling a little better this past week, but not much. I have some slight stinging with bowel movements sometimes and feel sore a good deal of the day. It feels like someone kicked me in the butt with a boot later in the day, which is very uncomfortable and the spasms seem to get worse as the night goes on until I apply the Diltiazem ointment. I'm trying to take more Motrin, but it aggitates my acid reflux issues if I take too much. All of this is very much a balancing act.

Thank you everyone for listening. It helps just getting my feelings out on this forum and it's nice to know I'm not the only one suffering, although I wish NOBODY had to go through this.

Also, if anyone out there knows of any great CRS's in the San Francisco Bay Area, let me know. I think I might have to look around again and see what's out there. I just don't think I'm fully comfortable with my CRS because he doesn't fully listen to my concerns and seems to just blow things off like they're no big deal. I'm not sure if I should try someone else in the practice (there are three CRS's there in his office), or go somewhere else.

Hi, so sorry that you are suffering and that the doctor you saw was not helpful. That stinks about the health insurance. I do hope you get some soon.
I would definitely see another doctor, one who will answer all your questions. You have every right to ask every question you need to. The doctor should answer them. As this is such a sensitive area, I would need to be comfortable with whoever I am going to allow to do any kind of procedure. I really like my CRS but even she has not been very accurate about healing. I just don;t think that doctors can really say when it comes to that as every one is different, heals differently, etc.
But again, you should feel confident with your doctor. Maybe continue to look around? I'm in NY or I would tell you to see my CRS. In the meantime, keep stools soft, hot baths, ibuprofen. I know the pain you are in It stinks.
Hang in there!!

Thank you for the support, jlm1. I just feel so lost at the moment. Every time I see my CRS (I've seen him three times already in the past couple of years), he seems super rushed and just doesn't take the time to sit with me and talk. He just rushes through the conversation and it's hard to get a word in edgewise. I just have a feeling it has to do with my lack of medical insurance, which is hopefully something I will be resolving soon. It's all very frustrating. : ( Guess I will be back to researching CRS's. It's so hard to tell who is good and who's not since online reviews can be so mixed or lacking completely. I really want to find someone I can trust completely, is very experienced, and that has a great bedside manner (due to my anxiety issues, I just can't tolerate anyone who is a jerk about things, although I think most people wouldn't like that either). It seems like that's a lot to ask sometimes.

I don't think you are asking too much. And honestly, even if I had insurance I wouldn't see that doctor again if he can't take the time to answer your questions. I'm sorry but what an a$$!! What nerve! (Can you tell I'm from NY, LOL)
My CRS is a woman probably in her late 30's or so. I know she has done a lot of surgeries/procedures. One of the reasons I like her is because she is super patient, answers all my questions (over and over again) and tells me everything she is going to do before she does it. I hear her wit other patients and she is always like that. It's hard enough to have a problem in this area and harder to go to a doctor to look. Hey, if someone is going to look in there, they better be gentle and kind. I also like this doctor because she is conservative in treatment options.
I really think you should keep looking. It'll be easier once you get insurance I guess. Again, I'm sorry you are suffering. It will get better though so hang in there!

Have you seen this post?

top-colon-and-rectal-surgeons-in-usa-t5991.html

Thanks for the link, chachacha. I will look into it. I found a couple CRS's I might consider, although they are a little far away from me. It's so difficult finding a good doctor. : (

You're welcome. And hopefully you read the post too, indicating that, "These physicians were selected based on a peer nomination process. Within this list of the best colon and rectal surgeons, 81 have been named to a highly selective list of America's Top Doctors (ATD) by achieving national recognition for outstanding work.' 2013 USNews"

I hope that you can find someone good to help you soon.