i can't believe this but i had what feels like another setback yesterday!! i've been using MOM every single day for over a month now, and having liquidy painless BMs. well, i think i got too dehydrated this weekend and had a semi-formed BM on sunday morning (even after using MOM). it STUNG coming out and hurt more than usual afterwards. no blood, as usual, just a stinging pain when i was going to the bathroom and more soreness in the area after.
this is so discouraging!!! i was getting used to feeling decent every day, and the liquid BM every morning didn't bother me. this makes me think that i'll never be able to have normal BMs, since one that was barely formed, and not hard at all, could still hurt so much and cause more damage to my fissure. i think all the liquidy BMs i've been having the past month, even though they don't cause pain, are enabling my sphinter to remain super tight. i've been trying to put neosporin in the area and i can't even get a single finger in the hole!! how could i have already had 2 sphincterotomies and still be this tight??
does anyone have any ideas or anything?? i dread going back to the dr again. i don't want botox after 2 LIS's and i don't want the dr to do any kind of exam that might rip me open more....

Jeez that stinks! How frustrating. I think you will be able to have normal poos after you heal more. For me, any pain in the area always makes my butt clamp shut, despite any meds. Botox was the only thing that made my rear clench-proof. Also, have you taken any ibuprofen? sometimes that really helps me relax my bottom because it takes the pain away.
Perhaps, you could work at slowly, manually dialating your butt, one finger at a time over a period of weeks.

How bad did this episode compare to your old, bad, fissure pain?
It's always two steps forward, one step back, so don't get too discouraged.
Did you have any spasms at all, or just soreness?
It is a mystery why you'd still be so tight with your sphincter already cut...(?)

Another thought--It is possible for you to get checked by a non-Kaiser dr. I have had really bad experiences with Kaiser and just don't trust them anymore.

kim - i've actually never had spasms, just intense pain during BM and pain for hours after (some burning and a poking feeling in my anus), mostly when standing after sitting. i think it's b/c my fissure has healed inside mostly, but there's still a small part of the external fissure that hasn't healed over. this episode isn't as bad as the last setback, in early december. i think because i've been using MOM so consistently.
BG - yah i'm hoping if i give it a few more months on MOM it will heal completely and then things will be ok to have normal BMs. I do take ibuprofen sometimes, and it helps. I've taken 800mg yesterday and today, but before that i hadn't taken it for a couple weeks...a good sign i think!
i've been trying to get a finger in when i apply neosporin to the area. it's so tight! are you able to get 1 finger or more in? what position do you need to be in? i feel like if i could manually dilate it that might make things looser. i mean i've already had 2 LIS, it should be somewhat looser already.
also, how are you doing since Botox? i'll have to find some of your old posts to read about your botox experience. that is definitely the next step my kaiser dr recommended. but maybe i'll consider going outside of kaiser for this....

BG - one more thing, what's the price range of a dr outside kaiser been, in your experience?

I swtiched my insurance to blue cross, so I only have a $20 co pay. It's more than Kaiser, but I have much more peace of mind, so it's worth it.
The botox did wonders for the healing and was very easy. I think my CRS was not quite competent though, since he injected through a hemmie, causing it to inflame and then burst. I have been dealing with that since the injection and it is my primary problem now.
I usually get a finger or thensome in while applying the nito or neosporin. Sometimes to prep for a CRS visit, I will work on getting two in, which is as much as I have ever been able to do--most anuscopes are huge for me. I just press opposite the fissure with my gloved finger and wait for the muscle to relax. Positionwise, I am squatting with my pants around my ankles usually. (yikes, how embarrassing, but since you asked and it might help...)

thanks for the info BG! and nothing is embarassing with us fissure sufferers!
i last saw the CRS in december and she wanted me to come back in 3 months if i was still having problems. maybe i'll consider botox in march if things are not better. she also wanted to do an exam under general anasthesia at the same time she injects the botox, and that freaks me out! i've never had a colonoscopy, anoscopy, etc....

Oh Juney , I am so sorry t hear that : (. I know your frustration since mu sphincter is not loose enough either. I thought I was imagining stuff but other CRS confirmed the fact and said that " we shall see if it is lose enough to promote healing". I also decided that if healing does not happen that I will do Botox as a next step. I have small "pinch" during BM occasionally, and than prickling and burning in anal skin especially when I sit. When I stand up it is much better. I can hardly push in suppository which I tried only once and since it wouldn't go in I stopped because I was afraid to injure fissure (since it was cut during LIS). So, yeas dear friend, I can understand you truly, although your situation is even more frustrating since you had 2 LIS surgeries and your BM is very soft . Mine BM is medium soft , normal I would say, BUT NOTHING IS SUPPOSED TO HURT AFTER LIS _ PERIOD !!!!
I will go to different CRS for many reasons than one, but that is long story.
BG - thank you for advice how to apply creams inside - I am also very grateful for detailed explanation - and I agree with Juney - nothing embarrassing - we all try different things, different positions, different treatments and we all have to touch our butt this or hat way - so we all are in the same boat ! Our butts are part of us as any other body part but one of the most sensitive ones
: (.
Best to all,
XOXO

hey, juney. very sorry to hear you're still dealing this thing. i know the feeling of frustration. hang in there.
i just had botox injected on thursday. when i get another free minute, i'll post on another thread to relate my experience so far...