First: if you're confused and embarrassed - welcome to the club. No one likes to talk about this...which means no one knows it is a real possibility in life until they're in the middle of it. But, you're clearly not alone. My doc did six surgeries today. Six! It happens a lot, but no one likes to scream that they have a torn sphincter!
I am now 2 hours post-op. I'm home, sitting on my couch, trying to figure out what the heck is going on in life...
Background:
On July 4, I had a hard stool and remember a "pop" that was uncomfortable, but I didn't give a lot of thought to it. That afternoon, another BM which hurt worse with a little blood. That night was so uncomfortable...but I'd experienced similar pain before and it would subside in a day or two. I would typically just increase fiber with Fiber One bars and Cracklin' Oat Bran cereal. Unfortunately, this was the start of a six week journey.
The following days sucked, to say the least. July 6 my wife and I were out of town for 18 days where we work with a summer student leadership conference. I thought that things would be good because the "hemorrhoid" would disappear and give relief. Instead, it was continued pain and blood. And then, out of nowhere, lingering pain for some 6-8 hours would be there.
The conference was intense and hands on. We were paid staff, so I was very ticked at how it was going for me. I changed my diet where I was eating less. The conference started Monday, and on Thursday, it was the worst day by far. A very hard stool - took 45 minutes of gritting and bearing my teeth. My stools were pencil like because everything was so tight.
I tried it all that I could find on Google for hemorrhoids. Diaper ointment, coconut oil, Tucks pads...you name it, I applied it.
For the next two weeks, I was somehow able to change my habits to be at night. This means that while I wouldn't sleep, life could go on.
On July 22, the last day of my conference, I couldn't hold it, went to the bathroom and passed a stool with no blood. "Great!" I thought. The next day, the same thing. The lingering pain was minimal and I thought I was on the mend. Came home for the first time in 18 days and managed to survive and thought I was on the mend.
The next week was our family vacation - basically the same. I managed and survived. Some painful times, but I had it under "control."
We returned home, I played a weekend softball tournament with no issues, but some BM pain at night.
Finally, August came, life was normal, and I thought with a focused diet, I'd be good.
Last Wednesday, I was on a run and the pain was just uncomfortable...not unbearable, but I finally just said I was tired of it. I called the local colorectal office and set up an appointment for yesterday, August 17. At 10:30, I showed up and after some waiting, was seen by the doc.
He immediately checked me out and told me it was definitely a fissure....which I assumed, but was praying it was just a really bad internal hemorrhoid because it was located to the left side with pain.
He gave me options: surgery would definitely heal it, ointments could help, and possibly heal, but mine was bad. Said that it was deep and he could literally see the muscle from the tear - not what I wanted to hear. After some deliberation and questions (how long is the recovery?) I set it up after talking to my wife and my church office to make sure there was nothing I HAD to deal with. The biggest thing for me was recovery, as Sep 3 I make an annual trip to Haiti, and I didn't want to jeopardize that. The doctor told me to go on with it if I did surgery.
So today, I went in.
I arrived, waited a bit, and then they got to business. The anesthesiologist was wonderful and put me to ease with small talk. She inserted the IV. The nurse came in, got me settled. And then the last thing I remember is the anesthesiologist smiling and saying "Good night!"
I stirred once in surgery barely, and she said, "Go back to sleep..." Which I did obviously.
I woke up chilling, normal. They put me in a wheelchair, gave me water, and rolled to me a room to chill. I was there maybe 10 minutes when the doc came in. Told me to do my best to keep it clean and some other tips and to come back for follow up late next week. He did tell me he had to make a deep incision on the left side, which suggested to me, my fissure was pretty nasty. Then he left me to do another surgery (six total today...)
Nurses rolled me to my car, and my wife drove me home...and here we are.
I wanted to post this, because the most helpful thing for me was reading other people's success stories. So, I hope this is helpful to write for others in the future.
Tonight, I have had jello, pudding, and applesauce. I took a couple of strong prescription pain killers. My wife is roasting/steaming some veggies which I will eat some of and simply chill on the couch for the next few days.
I'm still numb down there, so I'm not feeling much other than just being tired.
The biggest sensation I hate is in my lower abdomen and it's gas pressure. After arriving home, and walking in the house, I figured out I was passing gas and wasn't trying. Has definitely happened a few more times since then. There's still a bit of discomfort due to this at this point, so once it is relieved, I think tonight will be numbingly boring...or I definitely hope.
(Thanks for all people who have posted here in the past, as it made my decision easy. I am hopeful for a quick and easy recovery. In two weeks, I make my trip and look forward to not living in fear of how long pain may last! I plan to update this with information, so others in the future can see what to expect...and hopefully I'm the norm on recovery!)
