How should I start? Sorry, but I need to get this out somehow. sigh. I have been through a tough year with an anal fissure that came about seemingly after a tremendous amount of stress and more recently being diagnosed with a fistula albeit treatable. I have not healed yet from the fissure, and continue to take stool softener and restrict certain foods from my diet.
Back in January my job of over 5 years had changed to a less secure and more stressful one by choice. As a father of two wonderful girls and being married for over 16 years to a woman I thought was by my side, I was blindsided when I found out she was being unfaithful. We have had issues communicating for some time, but both of us can be faulted due to the demands of work and raising a family.
What hurts most is that I accidentally found out when I was looking at her email while we were talking about going on vacation together. I don't think she expected it. I was hurt and she was apologetic. We argued for many days and still do occasionally.
My stress levels skyrocketed then, especially with the change in job. My bowels tightened and my stomach hurt daily. Each day was grueling. Finally, one day I tried to have a bowel movement and it hurt more than anything I had ever experienced. I do believe my fissure was mostly caused by this stress.
Fast forward to today. my wife is again in India where she is doing business with a girlfriend of hers that we both know. The guy that she has been seeing lives several hundred miles away in the same country. I just found out tonight that in November of last year and January of this year she had paid for round trip plane tickets for him and they both also bought plane tickets and a hotel room in the same place. The room description said "2 guests one room, queen sized bed". I am feeling a bit sick to my stomach, but I have two children that are now caught in the middle of this. A few days back I was suspicious of her actions when she traveled unexpected to the same area where this guy lives. i called her and asked her why she was there and also noticed emails that she had sent of various pictures when she promised never to contact him again.....
on top of this all, I am scheduled for a surgery this Monday morning on my fistula and my wife returns this Sunday. The only person I have to depend on during recovery is my wife.
The surgery is important, but I am having trouble dealing with this conflict right now. I have spoken to my mother and brother, but it is being kept quiet beyond that for now. I did not expect this.
Sorry for venting, but I am starting to go insane as I feel my whole life has been turned upside down. I am a simple guy trying to live a good life. Having a fissure and fistula is bad enough.
If anyone has been through similar trauma, please help. I could really use something to keep me going.